FMS Incorrect Quotes

Steve Legends Incorrect Quotes

Disclaimer: lots of dirty jokes and swearing, as well as personal headcanons lol.

Dream: Father! This soup is flaccid!
Genesis: agreed!!
Origin: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!

Obsidian Captain: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Beef: It was autocorrect.
Obsidian Captain: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Beef: Yes.

Genesis: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.
Galaxy, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Dream: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.
Dream: One... two... three.
Dread: ...
Dream: ...
Dream: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

Beef: Hey, Goggles you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform.
Goggles: Have you ever been to a mortuary?
Beef: Yeah, my grandpa lives there.
Goggles: That is the worst response to that question.

Red King: I type how I think.
Colle: Odd that you type at all then.

Seer: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

Galaxy: There's no "I" in team, but there is one in pizza.
Genesis: So, you're not going to share?
Galaxy: I'm not going to share.

Goggles: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don't answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

Colle: We all have our demons.
Colle, grabbing Judge: This one's mine.

Goggles: I've only had Parrot for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Elite Leader: I'm not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.
Beef: *Incoherent mumbling*
Elite Leader: Huh?
Colle: ...You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

*Beef and Sharp are planning to break in somewhere*
Sharp: We need to distract the guards.
Beef: Right.
Sharp: What are we gonna do?
Beef: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Sharp:
Beef:
Sharp: Deal.

Galaxy: This date is boring!
Genesis: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Galaxy: Then why did you invite me?
Genesis: I didn't, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Genesis I'll do whatever I want!"

Sharp: What are your three best qualities?
Goggles: I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Colle: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Desert Apprentice, dying and about to turn to glass: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Colle: Okay yeah thanks, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

Elite Leader to Colle: If Beef doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.
Beef, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Colle: If we're in trouble, just throw the Obsidian Captain at the problem, and hope for the best.

Colle: I'm going to get so much done today.
Seer: I'll hold you to that.
*8 hours later*
Seer: So how much did you get done?
Colle: One thing.
Seer: Well, that's one more than usual.

Colle: Can you cut me some slack, Seer? I'm sort of in love.
Seer: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
Colle: I'm in love with you.
Seer: Oh. Well... that brings me in the loop a little.