𝙻𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 | 𝑎𝑛 𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎 𝑎𝑐𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 |

Chapter One

The day of Sir Reginald Hargreeves's death seemed utterly normal. In novels, there's usually a dark cloud that lingers all day, a storm brewing in the sky. However, on March 21st 2019 the sky was clear, and the sun shone brightly upon the Earth; maybe it was God's way of saying that his death wasn't such a bad thing, that the "tragedy" was actually a blessing. Either way, Joseph Fletcher couldn't care less about the death of the horrid man. Despite never meeting him, Joseph was aware of all the awful things he had done to his children, and others- courtesy of his own personal informant. Joseph had been living with one of the Hargreeves children for almost six years now, and had seen the amount of trauma Reginald had inflicted upon him; his selfish actions causing the poor boy to be in and out of rehab frequently. Joseph arrived in America, from England, in 2007, where he used his parent's inheritance to buy a small two-bedroom flat- in which the spare room was rented out, at least until 2013. One day, while walking home from his job at a local café, Joseph spied a shabby-looking man wearing tatty clothes, which somehow looked good on him, stealing food from a rubbish bin. Feeling pity for the man, Joseph introduced himself and offered him a few nights' sleep in his second bedroom, which was immediately accepted. Those few nights of sleep turned into a few years, and they went from strangers to acquaintances to friends, and finally, to best friends. Yet, still, not a penny had been paid for the hospitality.

Joseph Fletcher was enjoying a quiet day at the flat, when the front door was forced open, making an obnoxious thud as it connected harshly with the wall.
'How many times do I have to tell you to open the door carefully before you listen to me?' Joseph called over his shoulder, annoyed with his roommate's hyperactive nature.
'Oh shush, I have news my little jelly bean,' Klaus flopped onto the couch, next to Joseph, with his typical nonchalant attitude. 'Guess who's sleeping with the fishes?' he asked while stealing a handful of popcorn and throwing it into his mouth.
'Klaus, no! Get your own popcorn if you want some so bad,' Joseph protectively huddled around his bag, 'also how should I know? People die every day.'
'Yes, people do die every day but not every day does a certain Reginald Hargreeves die,' Klaus watched in amusement as Joseph processed his words and his eyes lit up in astonishment.
'No fucking way! Well, it's about damn time- I was starting to think he was an alien or some shit,' Joseph remarked in excitement. 'Wait, how did you find out? I thought you were supposed to be in rehab.'
'Aha, Jo-Jo, were is the important word in that sentence. I was in rehab because I was a druggie, but now I'm reformed- I'm the next Picasso, I'll have you know. My psychiatrist said so herself,' Klaus exclaimed in his usual fashion, his hands flying about. 'Well,' Klaus clapped his hands together, 'chop chop.'
'What?' Joseph squinted in confusion as Klaus ushered him onto his feet.
Klaus sighed as though it was obvious, 'Dad's dead so I have to go home for the funeral.'
'Yes,' Joseph elongated the "e", 'and how does this concern me?'
'Because you're coming with me, obviously,' Klaus rolled his eyes at Joseph's stupidity.
'Klaus, I don't think you can invite a plus one to a funeral.'
'Course you can. Don't be frightened, my family will adore you,' Klaus shoved Joseph into his room and tossed a suitcase at him, before slamming the door shut and strutting away- presumably to consume more drugs. Joseph stood for a moment, trying to comprehend what just happened before opening the suitcase and beginning to pack.

Joseph looked up at the intimidating building for a moment, when Klaus hauled him through the front doors. The inside was even more extravagant than Joseph was anticipating, but he only had time for glimpses as he was towed through the house by Klaus- who appeared to have a specific destination in mind. Eventually, they stopped in front of a strangely normal-looking door and Klaus eagerly slid it open; both Klaus and Joseph wincing at the squeak it made.
'Quick, I've got to get some goods before any of the fun police come and arrest me,' Klaus shimmied his hips a little, before dashing over to the cluttered desk- that was situated at the end of the room. Klaus waved at Joseph, then dropped to the ground, dramatically, and began searching for anything valuable; while Joseph watched on in amusement and fondness for the bizarre man.
'Well get down here and help me then,' Klaus sighed out in exasperation. Joseph contemplated the proposal. Shrugging his shoulders, he too sank to the floor and foraged around the dead man's desk. As Klaus mumbled to himself, Joseph spied a fancy-looking gold box and, only because he worshipped Klaus, concealed it inside of his jacket. Seemingly in impeccable timing as well, because a female voice called out for Klaus from above. Joseph looked over to see one of the most stunning girls he had ever seen in his life leaning over the desk, observing them scavage around like thieves. She had coily, blonde hair, deep brown eyes and was dressed superb- in Joseph's opinion.
Klaus stood from his crouch whilst saying in a shocked tone 'Oh! Allison, wow, is that you? Hey, come here,' he pulled the girl, Allison, in for a hug whilst commenting on how long it was since they had last seen each other. Uncomfortable with the reunion going on, Joseph remained seated on the ground- hoping Allison hasn't spotted him. Unfortunately, she wasn't blind and, after glancing over at Joseph for a second, asked Klaus what they were doing. Klaus immediately grabbed Joseph and yanked him up from the ground,
'Dearest sister of mine, this is Joseph. Jelly bean, this is my sister, Allison,' Klaus introduced them; grabbing both of their hands and forcing them to shake. 'Anyways, enough about Joseph,' he pushed Joseph to the side. 'I was hoping to see you actually because I wanted to get your autograph added to my collection,' Klaus' voice became higher as he sang "collection", his hands propped underneath his chin. Allison seemed to smile in adoration until she noticed the band around his wrist,
'Just out of rehab,' she stated as Klaus instantly began denying it.
'No! No, no no no. No, I'm done with all that. It's actually Joseph's, I was just looking after it for him,' Joseph gaped in shock as Klaus pulled the band off and threw it in his direction, 'Here, Joseph, you can have it back now.' Klaus sighed in mock sadness 'I just came down here to prove to myself that the old man was really gone,' Klaus' face became happy again, 'and he is! He's dead,' Klaus clapped his hands, excitedly, and had a mini celebration that Joseph joined in on with a few quiet "yay"s and "whoop"s. 'You know how I know? Because if he were alive not one of us would be allowed to set foot in this room. He was always in here, our whole childhood- plotting his next torment, right?' Allison began to explore the desk as Klaus gave his speech, 'Remember how he used to look at us? That scowl, thank christ he's not our real father so we couldn't inherit those cold, dead eyes,' Klaus used his fingers to widen his eyes, mimicking their dad, 'Ahh! Number three,' he mocked Reginald's voice until another interrupted from the doorway,
'Get out of his chair,' a serious, deep voice demanded. Joseph peeked from being Klaus to see an extremely large man, who took the phrase "brood-shouldered" to a whole new level. Klaus turned his gaze onto the man, jumping up to stand next to Allison.
'Oh, wow, Luther. Wow, you've really err,' he struggled to find the appropriate words, 'you've really filled out, over the years,' he raised his arms into guns as Luther, once again, interrupted him.
'Save the lecture, we were already leaving,' he took Joseph's shoulders and guided him towards the door until a goliath, ape-like hand prevented them from going any further.
'Drop it,' Luther commanded, his scrutinising glare locked onto Klaus.
Klaus faked confusion, 'Exsqueeze me?'
'Do it. Now.' Everything was silent for a couple of seconds as Klaus and Luther stared at each other, until Klaus mumbled out an "alright" and swivelled around- walking back to the desk. Reaching his hands into his jacket, he started to drop goods onto the rug,
'It's just an advance on our inheritance, that's all it is,' Klaus exclaimed, adding more drama than necessary while Allison chuckled at his antics from behind the desk. 'No need to get your little panties in a bunch,' he mocked, 'come on, Jo-Jo,' he put his arm around Joseph's shoulders and escorted him out as Luther watched them leave in confusion and annoyance.
Joseph watched Klaus grumble in annoyance as he complained about not managing to nab anything. Waving his hand in front of Klaus' face, he said,
'No need to be such a grump, at least someone here is talented enough to become a criminal,' he pulled the golden box from inside his jacket, observing how Klaus' face lit up.
'Jelly bean I could kiss you right now,' he snatched the box from Joseph's hands and brought it to eye level, before kissing it. 'Right, let's go,' he reached for Joseph's hand, but it was pulled away at the last second.
'I am not going to buy drugs with you,' Klaus gasped and put a hand to his heart.
'Buy drugs? Who said anything about buying drugs?' Joseph raised an eyebrow. 'Okay, fine, yes, I'm going to buy drugs but come on this can be an adventure: Joseph and Klaus, the bitchin' explorers,' Klaus put an arm around Joseph and swiped the air with his remaining hand, as though envisioning something. Joseph wasn't impressed. 'No? Ugh, fine. You can stay in my bedroom, party pooper.'