When You're the Rock That Walked Away

When You're the Rock That Walked Away pt Two

I picked up Karl. I needed him to bring me to get more stuff. I was getting sick. Not getting, I was already there. He wasn't. I know he had stuff to do. I asked him if he had something that he could give me real quick so I could stop being sick. He said no. I asked if I could go inside and mix up something so I could stop being sick.

We went inside and thank God. I knew I kept him around for a reason. The only reason I kept him around was because he could find my veins. I couldn't, really.
I made him drive me home. I hated driving, but we didn't go to my home. I told him that if we could possibly come to his place? I just didn't want my car to be seen right now.

So we did. I told him I needed to just be silent. I had a lot to think about. He was doing random things. People kept doing weird things. They asked me about ice (meth) and boy (herion), so we bought and sold and traded and did our thing. It was so nice just having everything in one spot.

I was on one mission. Death. I made it a point not to talk to Xavier. I just couldn't anymore. He was my husband, and I loved him, but no. I was done. He couldn't understand. He didn't live my life. He didn't go through it. He didn't experience my struggles. He doesn't know.

I got messages from my ex, Justin. He is an alcoholic. He swears he's better than everyone because it's legal it's better than my drug of choice. He was begging for me to come back. Please. I kept asking him why? I mean, it's not like we haven't been trying this over and over. So why keep trying?

So, I finally decided to go back over there. Right? I mean, I knew it would be a really bad, I mean really, really bad idea. I haven't been making any good decisions anyway. So, I went.

He was okay at first. I didn't act like I was high. I had shit it was in the car. I just had to make sure I didn't get sick. I wanna say I also had shit hidden in my underwear. I also know how to hide things from him.

When I was living with him, I would keep stuff in the house. Needles would stay on top and under the cabinet, under the bed, under the sheet, and in the cushions. Oh, and my favorite place is his amps. The closest with the clothes work too.

So, I know I had stuff with me and on me. I would never leave anything. I know exactly how to hide things in my own car. So, I did go. He did want to go through my stuff, naturally, so I let him. I also know that he doesn't know certain things about my bags. My bags have pockets that don't look like pockets. they also have holes in them that can be covered.

So, one of my bags had a hole that I put my needles in between the plastic shaper at the bottom so it doesn't poke through or show. My pre mix stuff I can easily put it in my underwear pocket, so when I strip i just be careful and take it off carefully. Honestly, I've put it in toilet paper and in the pocket. I've sewn the pocket a little bit and popped stitches just so I could strip and not let him see anything fall.

But that night, he didn't find anything, he didn't fight me. He didn't go through my phone. I already took care of that. I put it on, do not disturb, and put everyone on this secret chat. Like they can message, I just can't get it without searching for them and clicking their names. So, I know I am talking, but he can't prove anything.

As far as texts, blocked. Calls? Deleted and blocked. I'll deal after. Right now, I'm getting a real bed with real electricity, and I'm not in a garage. I just want to get out of the garage. Besides, Justin will sometimes give me things I want or need just so he can get things he wants from the store, which means I can go to the car. I can also get things from out of their hiding places while he continues to dig and look.

So, he, obviously, sent me to the store. He's so predictable. What do you know? The store I have to go to is further out than the normal. But it means I can help myself before getting back.