I Knew I Loved You

Chapter 4

He walks to the window, pushing the curtain aside with two fingers and looking out. Below, a group of teachers is walking out of the building and across the courtyard to go out for lunch together. Kemal tilts his head, watching Burcu's slight figure dressed in a simple sky-blue dress and a white knit wrap. She seems to blend in well, chatting animatedly with the other teachers on their way to a nearby restaurant.

There'd been a time when she hadn't fit in with the others, when she'd lurked in corners observing, when she'd walked with her head bent low and her thoughts in her own little imaginary world.

And a time when he'd watched her bloom to life, from the timid little bud to the beautiful flower that would have deserved a spot in the center of attention but was content to gift its intoxicating scent to him. His traitorous mind makes him travel back to the past, his fingers gripping the curtain tightly.

* * *

10 years ago

He's late. Over half an hour late, to be precise. He lost track of time during basketball practice and then had to shower and get dressed in record time. Skidding on the pavement because he's running so fast, Kemal winds his way through all the parked cars toward the building where the semester party is already in full swing. He knows his tie is askew, and sprinting all the way here has probably ruined his suit. A suit he HATES to wear, but he promised Burcu.

Burcu. At the thought of her, his feet hit the pavement even faster as a smile forms on his face. He wonders what lovely dress she might be wearing this evening. Wonders if she'll let him slow-dance with her. If she might sip on a drink and get a little tipsy, and if that might make her a bit different. In the past few months, he's gotten to know various sides of her personality, scratched the surface of hidden depths he can't wait to explore. Just as he can't wait to explore more of her body, their stolen kisses keeping him awake at night with frustrated arousal and vivid fantasies.

He shakes his head, rounding a bend and slowing down so he doesn't barrel into the last few people arriving. Stepping closer to the entrance, he runs his hands over his suit and hair and catches his breath. Music and conversation floats out into the early night, together with colorful lights and the smell of greasy party food and cheap alcohol mixed with cigarette smoke. It makes him yearn for a cigarette too, but he's been trying to ditch the bad habit because Burcu is so worried about his health.

Once he's inside the building, his senses are assaulted even more by the chaos inside. Using his height to his advantage, he scans the crowd for the girl - no, young woman - who has such an inexplicable hold over him these days. In the past, he'd have straight found his group of friends (using the term loosely) and gotten drunk with them. Tonight, his first thought is finding his girl and apologizing, then making sure she feels comfortable and has everything she needs. Burcu hates crowds. And noise. It took him three days of incessant wheedling and persuasive kisses to get her to attend the party.

There she is. With a last useless tug on his inexpertly knotted tie, Kemal strides through the crowd toward the girl in one of the corners. His pulse races as he takes in the gorgeous red dress she's wearing. It looks silky and has a flared skirt and doesn't reveal much cleavage, but hot damn that fiery color on his quiet sweetheart reveals yet another facet of her intriguing personality. When he comes closer, he can see she's wearing make-up too, including lipstick in a matching shade of red and something smokey and black around her luminous green eyes.

As Kemal approaches, a clique of girls that belong to the 'popular' crowd on campus walk closer to Burcu. In a snarky, strident voice that carries despite the music, the clique's leader says, "My my my, look who's here. The boring little field mouse has come out to play. Hey, mousy, don't let them trample you. Better stay in your corner all night and hide, all the red dresses in the world can't make you compete."