Call it what you want

What my horses taught me about separation Anxiety... layer one

This chapter I talk about how I helped my horse with their separation anxiety.

Step 1. Be someone they felt safe to be around

And that was it....
There was only one step...

Sounds too easy... well let me tell you, it wasn't.
It took me many months to see the changes. But once I started to notice the changes that is when I realised just how many times I had missed the point.

So I had to change myself. I had to change the way my horses saw me. I had to be someone they felt safe with. But I didn't even know how to feel safe in myself.
Bingo!
That was the answer I was looking for.
Once we start asking ourselves questions, the answers usually just pop into our head.
We have to ask ourselves a lot of questions, and question the questions, keep asking yourself why until you feel that light bulb moment where your mind just goes quiet and says to its self. Arh... 

That's the moment when you know in your gut and your body what the answer is.
It can be uncomfortable at first, but the more you practice it the easier it gets; I can promise you that.

So I reached out to a few different people for help. Nakita, I had been working with for about six months prior to me realising I had to change the way I was doing things. Then Mia came into my life at the perfect time, and so the journey within started.

With the continued help, support, encouragement and guidance of these two special women in my life I have been able to flourish into the woman I am today and continue to grow into.

So once I did the work on understanding myself I was able to better understand the connection I had with my horses and what they have been teaching me for a very long time.
I just wasn't listening, but I wasn't even listening to myself so I can't really beat myself up about that.

I live on a large cattle station and the horses have a few thousand acres to roam on.
This comes with its challenges but I love it because I know the importance of feeling free.
I choose to live very rural, this is where I feel freedom. I can't handle the hustle and bustle of town living and I don't expect my horses to live like that either.

So like the saying goes,
"Set it free and if it comes back it was meant for you"
Or something like that

So to bring that feeling of safety to my horses I have to actually let go of control.
Sounds weird but by releasing the control over the situation, I gave control an option.
I allowed my horse to be horses.
I allowed myself to be a caregiver, for my horses when they needed it, not when I wanted it.
If you are in someone's life trying to control them even though you are doing it from love, they call that smothering, controlling, and so many different words can be used.
Smothering is just a form of love with an equal mix of control.
Love someone enough for them to be themselves and they will love you by default. Because they will start to love themselves.
Another saying is Hurt People, Hurt People.
I think the same goes for people interacting with horses in a harsh way.
They are expressing their hurt onto others because they feel so freaking frustrated that this horse can't understand them. Because usually people can't even understand them so that's why they turned to animal for a connection.
Animals just understand human behaviour and emotions way better than humans do.
When you show love and compassion, you don't even have to speak the same language, or even be of the same species.
It's an understanding and an unspoken agreement between two living breathing creatures.

So now that I had spent a lot of time working on me I was able to practice it and notice the little subtle try's I was progressing with.