Falling Like || Jon Snow

16| 𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔩𝔰

"Nymeria." Alliser snapped.

"And tell me, Ser Alliser," she went on. "How long has Ser Janos been a brother of the Night's Watch?"

He clenched his jaw. "A month."

"How many times has he journeyed beyond the Wall? How many wildlings has he fought? How many men has he saved?" Silence. "I thought as much. And as such, do all in this room, including Jon Snow, not bear higher experience and rank than he?"

She could practically hear his teeth grinding when he responded. "That is correct."

She nodded, settling, though her coldness was still unnerving. "Good. Then we will hear no more." She didn't miss the way Slynt shut his mouth now, shrinking back into his seat without Thorne to protect him.

"If we beheaded every ranger who lay with a girl, the Wall would be manned by headless men." Maester Aemon spoke up.

"There's a difference between sneaking off to the Mole's Town brothel and sleeping with the enemy." Alliser said.

"While we sit here, debating which rules I broke, Mance Rayder marches on the Wall with an army of 100,000."

"Impossible. You can't get 50 wildlings together before they start killing each other."

"He speaks the truth." Nymeria spoke up. "The Halfhand spoke of Mance Rayder using the ways of those south of the Wall to bring together all the wildlings against the winter. He was so sure that it killed him. We were on our way to take out scouts and assassinate Mance when the Halfhand was captured."

Jon nodded. "He's united the Thenns, the Hornfoots, the ice-river clans. He has giants fighting for him."

Slynt opened his mouth again, but when Nymeria's head snapped towards him, her dagger-like gaze betraying the brutal truth behind her threat to mute him, he seemed to think better, though he fumed as he sat quietly. She turned to look at Jon. "Giants? You're certain?"

"There's not as many left as there are of any other individual clan, but I saw them." she nodded. "There's a band of wildlings south of the Wall already, led by Tormund Giantsbane. I killed their Warg and three others. They shot me full of arrows. Their orders are to attack Castle Black from the south when Mance hits it from the North. The signal for the attack will be a bonfire.. Mance said it would be the greatest fire the North has ever seen. That's the truth. All the truth." for a moment, it was quiet again. "Do you intend to execute me, or am I free to go?"

"None of us are free." Aemon spoke before anyone else could. "We are men of the Night's Watch. But we won't be taking your head today, Jon Snow. Go on."

As Jon inclined his head to the table, Nymeria got to her feet. She didn't look at him. She didn't look at any of them. She simply breezed past, storming out the door and letting the wind slam it behind her. Jon's eyes followed her, his frown full of confusion and a tinge of hurt, and then his feet were following her too, out the door and along the wall by the training yard full of the sounds of arrowheads hitting their targets and dull swords striking one another. "Nymeria?" she didn't turn, didn't even pause. "Nym- Nymeria! Wait!" He jogged a few steps to catch up with her, grabbing her arm lightly. She turned smoothly towards him as he did, making him drop his hand. Her expression was a mask of false indifference, but her eyes betrayed hurt... and anger. He frowned. "Are you angry with me?"

"Did you love her?" her question caught him off-guard. "Do you love her?"

He hesitated. "... does it matter?"

Her eyes turned away from him now, her lips twisting downwards, her voice full of bitterness. "I suppose that is the right answer."

He had no idea what to say to that. He thought about it for a moment, thought long and hard. He thought that perhaps he had... but something was missing. Finally he replied quietly. "I don't know if I loved her."

Nymeria scoffed, her eyes lifting to his once more. "When you love someone, Jon Snow, you know it." The sudden realisation of the meaning behind those words hit him like a kick in the chest, knocking the breath out of him. "Which means you're either a liar or you're stupid. And like you said, it doesn't really matter now, does it?" She turned and left. This time, he didn't follow. Didn't call out. He was too frozen in place by what had just washed over him. Oh, how foolish he'd been. How blind. He thought of Robb, and the girls that had always trailed after him. He remembered the longing looks that suddenly resembled something he'd found more than once in Nymeria's eyes. He remembered the way they'd search his brother out in a crowd, the same way he always seemed to find her beside him and have no idea how she'd gotten there from across the yard. Maybe it was that the brothers were all sworn to look after one another that left him thinking there was nothing to it when she fixed him up from Craster's blows. Maybe it was her fierceness that did not resemble those women that had him missing the glint in her eye. Or perhaps he simply could never have believed that someone would look at him that way.

As she stalked off, Nymeria held back tears. How foolish she'd been. How forgetful. How stupid to think that love was safe. Or even allowed. After all, she was bound to the Night's Watch and their vows for life. And so was Jon. The most honourable man she knew. 

A/N:
Fucking. Hell. I will never recover from everything I put my favourite characters/ocs through (I say as if I don't have full control lol).

Also I fucking HATE J*nos Slut so y'all just know she had to gag this mf. Idk if it's possible for me to love her more actually.