A Bard's Diary

Entry 1:

Dear Diary,

Greetings! The Goblin King had gotten tired of my constant complaints of how dull it was down here, so he gave me this to keep myself occupied for the meantime. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me, yet I'm not complaining! I don't get a calender in here, and as I've been told by most I don't have a very great construct of time so I'll just be labeling these as numbered entries.

Apologies, allow me to introduce myself. I am the great Orion Sound! Or Oliver, Ollie for short. Or Olipop if your my mum yet that's highly unlikely for many reasons.

I've been spending the past week coming up with tunes in my head to sing out of pure boredom, I heard Fwip say something about how he could make use of my singing at one point. Not too sure what he meant by that but it's not my place to ask questions.

Whilst I'm thinking of more things to write, let me explain how I got in this mess in the first place. I was down here with my trusty hound Sausage (named after what was a very close friend of mine) and managed to find the deep dark whilst exploring. Of course I wasn't aware the warden could be someone's pet so I did what any person would of done, and killed it! Now I thought that would make me some sort of hero, yet apparently not. The Goblin King took me hostage in this cage and will not let me leave.

I'm hoping I be freed soon. He makes me dance for him like the court blood jester! Who does that sickly hobbit think he is? You know, I was a very well respected man back in my younger day! I mean I still do like to lable myself a strapping young man. Okay you know what not the point, point is that this place is awful!

I mean, the beefs texture is all weird and it also smells funny so I've now resort to only eating the inside of it because it isnt covered in some sort of gravy. I absolutely despise the texture and think I should be given pasta instead, yet my request for that was very quickly denied and I was told to eat it or he'd make me. I doubt that tiny fellow could do anything to me, but out of pure respect and not fear I shall be keeping to myself.

I long to see the sun. No, not even the sun. For my dearest friend Sausage's face, yet I know it'll be a long time before I see him again. I just hope it's later instead of never.

I shall try to keep my spirits high! No matter how cold and damp it may be in this rusted cage. The great Orion Sound may always keep his spirits high, after all a damaged man isn't a man of honour! Except Sausage of course, he's worth all my honour.

No that's off topic,

Point is I will try make myself comfy in this hellish cage of suffering.

In summary, this place is absolute shit as the kids these days would say. Right? Oh no. Wait apparently that is not something trendy. Excuse my French. I shall see you in the next page!

Sincerely, Ollie/Oliver/The Great Orionsound.