Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 62

"Ella, I'm so sorry," Felix whispered. He sat beside me on the bench and held my other hand.

Seungmin sat across from us looking ready to attack JYP the next time he saw him. "We'll stop him," he declared.

I gave him a soft smile. Since my bracelet was on, I couldn't tell him that JYP leaking that info to the press was hopefully all that Agent Branson would need to finally get him out of their lives, but I appreciated his support nonetheless.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I excused myself. Chan looked like he wanted to invite himself, like he knew it was mainly the others I needed to be away from right now, but he let me be.

I shut the door and allowed myself to cry for a moment. I needed a second alone after everything I'd gone through... we'd gone through. It was a lot to process...losing a potential future and trying to get it all back. All I knew was that JYP had to be stopped. This couldn't happen again.

I'd just used the toilet and was washing my hands when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I lifted up my shirt and turned to the side wondering how they had seen a bump. Maybe I should've listened when JYP said I should've lost weight. I should've continued running and staying fit. Obviously sitting on a bus for hours wasn't doing me any favors.

I put my hand over my stomach and sucked in. Maybe I'd been eating too much. I had so much gelato when I was home with Chan. I dropped my t-shirt back down and headed to the main cabin feeling insecure and broken down.

"Vegas, baby!" Changbin was shouting and trying to get everybody hyped up.

I wasn't in the mood, so I went to the bunk and lay down with my headphones. I put on my instrumental playlist which always made me really introspective but that sounded necessary right now. I needed to process everything.

I wondered why it was so important to JYP that he not only made them suffer through fan service but also took away any good things from them. He took away their free week when we were in Dallas. He couldn't just let Chan out of fan service and threatened him. And now he'd taken away the potential baby we could've had.

I wish I'd just chosen to take the pill myself. Having the choice revoked and being forced to do it hurt. I was lucky, I suppose, that none of the symptoms had revealed themselves yet. Maybe that meant I wasn't pregnant after all.

It wasn't a very long drive to Vegas. I figured I'd stay in the bunk and give Chan time with the guys. The curtain opened, though, and I turned, expecting to see him. But Han was there instead. I removed my headphones to let him know I was okay to chat.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

I nodded and moved over to make room. He closed the curtain and lay down beside me.

"I'm sorry for what JYP did to you," he told me with sad eyes.

"Thank you," I whispered. I held my bracelet up so that Han would know it was listening.

He nodded in acknowledgment.

"JYP has done a lot of horrible things," he began, "but this is one of the worst things I've ever heard of."

I was surprised at his candor given he knew JYP was listening.

"Once Chan and I decide for sure that we want a baby, we can just try again," I told him and reminded myself.

"I know you can," he smiled softly. "But it was still wrong for him to do that."

"Thank you," I replied as a tear fell. Han wiped it away.

"What are you listening to?" He asked, changing the topic and picking up one of my earbuds.

"Instrumental songs," I informed him. Dream by CAMDENMUSIQUE was playing.

"It's pretty," he complimented, and he laid on his back and listened quietly. I did the same.

"JYP stopped Lee Know and me from doing a lot of things in our relationship," he whispered in a sad voice. "We can't hold hands or kiss in public. We can't sit beside each other at award shows, and when we win, I can't even celebrate with him."

My heart broke for everything that was taken away from them.

"A piece of me breaks every time one of us has to do fan service," he continued. "I'd hoped it wouldn't be the same for you and Chan since you're straight. I'd hoped JYP was just angry Lee Know and I were gay, but I can see that's not the case."

"I think JYP is unhappy any time ya'll are happy," I told him.

"I think so, too."

One, Two, Three, Four by Alex Somers began playing, and we lay together just listening. Thinking and listening.

The sweetness of the melody drifted me away, and, before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep.