The Hangover III || Phil Wenneck

8. Takes Two To Tango

"That's some house, Chow." Phil commented, as we sat at a distance in the car from the house.
"It's my Shangri-La." Chow responded, with a bitter tone. "Now it's gone." Chow seethed, as he spat.

"Could you not spit inside my minivan, please?" Phil asked, annoyed, as he looked over at Chow. "Jesus!" Phil exclaimed, as he turned his head around, and I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"Who lives there now?" Alan asked. "Some dot.com millionaire. He's never here. This is a vacation home. The help doesn't show up on Sundays. No one there but the guard dogs. Stu?" Chow looked at Stu through the rear view mirror.

"We'll toss these burgers over the gate, wait for the Demerol to kick in." Stu stuck the syringe needle in the burger, as Phil looked over. "Make sure you put in enough to kill them." Chow added, as my head snapped up.

"What?!" I asked, furrowing my brows. "We're not gonna kill the dogs, Chow. This'll knock 'em out for hours." Stu told him, reassuring me. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you worked for PETA. What a pussy." Chow pointed at Stu with his thumb, while he and Alan laughed, before Chow began driving closer to the house.

As we approached the gate, the sound of the two dogs barking got louder. Chow shot some ink on the camera to block the view, as Stu handed the burgers over to me. "You should do it." He spoke, nervously.

"Me?! I can't do it! I already fed a steak to tiger!" I protested. "Yeah! 4 years ago!" Stu argued, and I rolled my eyes. "Just do it, you big baby. They're on the other side of the gate." I told him, as Phil grew impatient.

"I'll do it." He said, grabbing the burgers from Stu, as he got out of the car, and walked up closer to the gate to throw them as far as he could, causing the dogs to chase them.

Chow began stabbing the security box, grunting, as the gates opened, Phil got back in the car and we drove in.

When we reached the house, we got out of the car and Chow shot more ink to cover the cameras, while Phil, Stu and I opened the trunk of the minivan, and began grabbing bags.

"Alan, take that." Phil told him, handing him a mallet, which Alan threw over his shoulder, accidentally dropping it on his foot, as he screamed and groaned.

"Where are you going?" Stu asked, as he watched Chow walk away.
"You'll see." Chow walked over to the dogs.
"Pardon me, little loser... Excuse me, fucking asshole." Chow said, as he removed the collars from the dogs, and grabbed a bag.

"Follow me." Chow instructed, as he walked away, and we followed him.

"Okay, here's the deal. Two security panels inside. If you cut only one wire, it triggers alarm. Place will be crawling with cops. But if you cut wire on both panels at same time, alarm disable." Chow informed us, as we walked upstairs and reached the front door of the house.

"Yeah, but how we gonna get inside without trippin' the alarm?" Phil questioned, as I crossed my arms.
"Check this out." Chow held the collar to the doggy-door, and it opened.

"Any more stupid questions?" Chow asked, as Phil looked down at the door, while Chow strapped the collar around his neck. "Now, who's coming with me?" Chow questioned us.

"I'll do it." Alan piped in, as Chow paused, and I pursed my lips together. "You wanna tell him?" Chow looked over at Stu, handing him the collar.
"Oh, um..." Stu started, looking down at the doggy door. "Alan, you're just too fat." Stu bluntly told him.
"Roger that." Alan nodded, as Stu tied the collar around his neck, before crouching down to crawl through the doggy door.

"You kicked me, you motherfucker." I heard Chow complain, as he crawled in after Stu.

I sighed, and began chewing my thumbnail, anxiously, I probably looked so guilty, as I pondered how Phil would react when I tell him. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty, as I began pacing around, while Phil leaned his back against the wall, his arms crossed, as he watched me.

"Seriously, Ziggy, what the hell is up with you, you've been acting fidgety all day." Phil told me, as I stopped and looked over to him. "I'm not acting fidgety? I'm fine." I replied, nervously, continuing to pace around, as Phil scoffed and walked up to me.

"What is your problem?" He asked, gripping my shoulders to stop me and make me look at him. "Just tell me what's wrong? Have I done something?" Phil asked, worriedly. Technically yes...

"No, no. I'm just- I'm just thinking about Doug." I looked down, unable to look him in the eye. "No, you're not. You're lying, you can't look at me when you lie." His hand gripped my jaw and made me look him in the eye, like he was examining my eyes to read my thoughts.

"Wait.. is what Chow said true? Are you pregnant?" Phil asked, his eyes widening beneath his sunglasses, as I nervously laughed. "What?! Why would you think that?" I asked, still nervously laughing.

"Eve. Tell me, right now. Are you pregnant?" Phil firmly asked, his hair falling in front of his face, as my mouth went dry. I opened my mouth to respond but no words came out. "Uh- What is taking them so long?" I asked, looking over to the door, as Phil held my jaw in place.

"Don't try change the subject. Eve, please, you gotta tell me–" Phil pleaded, before Alan interrupted him. "Hey, Phil, where'd you get that shirt? The Diesel store?" Alan asked, while Phil ignored him, still staring into my eyes, intimidating me.

"Phil." Alan tried to drag his attention, while Phil rolled his eyes and sighed, turning his head around to look at Alan. "What?" He replied. "It's a cute top. Where'd you get that shirt?" Alan questioned him.

"I-I don't know, Alan. I'm kind of in the middle of something. Not now." Phil told him, turning his head to look at me. "He's right, that shirt is cute." I smiled up at him, holding the sleeve of his shirt, as Phil glared at me.

"Eve, stop." Phil demanded. "What?! I'm just saying!" I defended, huffing, as Phil continued glaring at me. "Where did you get it?" Alan pressed on about the shirt, as Phil groaned.

"I don't know. I'll find out, I'll get you one." Phil assured him. "There's a cool Diesel store in the mall that I like to go to. Right next to the food court." Alan continued. "I don't know if it's Diesel." Phil told him, his hair still fallen down to his face.

"Looks like a Diesel." Alan walked over to touch Phil's shirt, causing Phil to pull away.
"What's the matter with you?" Phil asked, as Alan placed a hand on his hip.

"Eve–" Phil turned to me and I just groaned, with my hands running down my face. "Fine! Yes!" I just blurted, without fully thinking, as Phil blankly stared at me. "Yes what?" He asked, visibly swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I'm pr–... I'm pregnant." I practically whispered, looking down, as Phil blinked. "Fuck." Phil ran his hands through his hair, as it was his turn to pace. I nervously watched him walk around and curse.

"How did this happen?! I thought you were on the pill." Phil whisper-yelled to me, so Alan couldn't hear. "I was! But the pill isn't always 100% effective!" I defended, as Phil groaned.

"Phil.." I trailed off. He didn't look happy. We never really did talk about having kids.. maybe he doesn't want kid.. "How are we gonna provide for a baby?! We barely make enough money for ourselves, now there's gonna be another mouth to feed?" He stressed, and it was all just making me feel worse.

"I'm sorry.." I apologised, as Phil just scoffed, which irritated me. "I don't know why you're annoyed at me, I didn't fucking plan for this to happen. It takes two to tango, so maybe stop putting the blame on me!" I raised my voice, crossing my arms, just as Stu and Chow walked out.

"All good?" Phil asked them.
"Easy peasy." Chow replied, taking a swig of his beer.
"All right." Phil answered, walking past Stu. "You have no idea." Stu told us.

"Come on." Chow ushered, as I quietly followed behind Stu, with my arms crossed, looking down at my feet.