LEECH

CHAPTER SEVEN - AISHA (NOW)

Today is the day I get convicted for murder and these kids are going to be the reason why.

How can they screw up the darn ending? That's like, the most important part of the whole performance!

Vaani hands me a bottle of water, which I chug down in a single gulp. The cool water sliding down my throat brings some much needed relief. I wipe the sweat off my brow, feeling yuck.

I don't want to go all angry beast mode on them, but we need to perfect it. I know they are just kids and probably need more time than they got, but there is absolutely no space for mistakes. This is my last year participating in functions, the only time I'll be able to see Cluster at Riva, and the first time I'll meet them after four years. It's a lot, and it's a little personal, but the end goal is perfection, and that's beneficial for everyone, isn't it?

"You need to chill." Vaani admonishes me. "Let them have a break."

I sigh. "Cluster is in two days, Vaani. Two days and we still haven't practised in our costumes. It will take time to get accustomed to the lehenga's weight with the jewelries and accessories and whatnot, but before that we need to make sure —"

"Hey, hey, hey, relax, will you?" Her eyes swerve over the room, monitoring every kid present here. There are two more eleventh graders like us, but the rest are juniors. "It's just Cluster. Not some national program."

"It is a national program." I insist.

She rolls her eyes. "Well, technically yes. But there is some space for mistakes. It doesn't have to be perfect."

I plop down on the floor, my butt on the hard and cold marble. "You aren't like this. You're always so...perfect. You literally just do it once and you're done. Marvellous."

"Well." She sits in front of me. "I've been learning classical and semi-classical since I was three. I've participated in both state level and national level competitions. It's not just something I'm good at, it is something I'm passionate about. So, it's a little unfair to compare them with me."

"I'm not like this, either. Not a pro like you, of course, but —"

"And you," She interrupts me. "Have been working your ass off practising for this. How many times have you done the whole choreo by now? Not everyone is so invested in this as you are, Ash."

She makes sense. I'm still frustrated, though. More like, annoyed with myself for not pushing harder. Maybe if I'd started practice sooner, they could have done better. Maybe I'm just imposing myself on everyone. I'm being so stuck up, aren't I?

I put my head in my hands and groan. Ugh.

"Some of them are doing so well, though." I gesture at the curly haired girl engaged in a conversation with her friend, and another girl with a messy bun that's two seconds away from falling out, standing at the corner of the classroom and buckling her shoes up quietly. "That one, she's so silent all the time and doesn't disturb a soul, but when she dances, it's almost like you can't take your eyes off of her. I feel like she'll be the next you."

Vaani laughs. "There is no next 'me'. She'll be herself. And she'll be wonderful, I'm sure."

I bite my lips, tugging at them with my teeth. I've picked up this habit from Samaira. It's a bad one. I need to get rid of it. "Do you think she should have been the centre instead of me? I feel like she'll do better. Should I go and talk with our dance teacher? I don't know if there's time —"

"Oh Gods." Vaani glares at me. "You're doing so good. Why the heck are you so strung up about this?"

The truth is, I don't know.

A wish to prove something, maybe.

To whom? To them? To myself? To my teachers? Why?

Again, I don't know. There's so much I don't know about myself and that infuriates me. What's the point of living if you don't even know what to do with your own life?

I shake my head. I'll deal with these thoughts later. I'm just sixteen. I have like...my whole life awaiting me and these stupid questions I can't figure out.

But what if I die tomorrow?

I deliver a mental slap to myself. No morbid thoughts. Only happy happy happy. I need to keep my own moods up and also lift others' spirits.

Before I can do anything, Vaani squeals. "Girl, have you seen the final costume? Sir just sent the pic to the group."

Her enthusiastic energy is a contrast to my drained one. "Uh. What?"

"Look!" She shows me. It's a brilliant navy blue lehenga, with a beautiful hand stitched red embroidery as its sides. The chunni features the same colour and pattern, decked with sequins, beads and mirrors which shimmer under the flash of the camera.

It's dazzling and one of the most mesmerising costumes I've ever seen in the whole time that I've done performances. Suddenly, I can't wait to wear this on stage two days later.

The girls are all checking their phones, oohing and aahing at the picture, starry eyed. "It looks expensive. The school is paying for this?" Vaani exclaims, wide eyed with astonishment. "Darn. The budget is high."

I chuckle. Yeah, they really aren't playing this time.

Through the open door, a mass of black hair pops his head in. Aarush's smiling face comes into my view. "You done?" He asks me. "It's time for dispersal. You'll be late."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes at his concerned choice of words. "You mean, Jahnvi will be late?"

Vaani snorts. Aarush shoots her a scathing look.

"I'll leave with Vaani today. You can walk Jahnvi home." I say, trying (and failing) not to grin at the way his eyes light up with joy at the mention of my proposal.

"Really?" He says, all the apprehension vanishing from his tone.

"Well, it's a yes from me. The final answer depends on Jahnvi. Now, shoo." I say, and chuckle with half endearment and half exasperation when he actually scurries away at my command.

"He gives me such puppy vibes." Vaani comments, and I just can't help but agree.

Just then, the girl with the messy bun — Sara's her name, if I remember correctly — walks up to us, fiddling with her fingers anxiously. I exchange a look with Vaani. She's always kept to herself, entering the class quietly and leaving just the same way. The most I've heard of her voice is when she says 'Present, sir' during attendance.

"Hi, Sara. Can I help you?" She's slightly shorter than me, so I have to bend down to hear her soft, sweet voice.

"Um, hello. I...well, I'm not added to the group. Is there any way you could maybe...um, add me?" She asks, her doe eyes looking at mine innocently.

There's a weird pang in my chest for some reason.

I ignore it. Vaani takes over. "Yeah, sure. I'm the admin of the group. I'll add you. Can you tell me your number?"

I watch them interact as they exchange numbers. Before she leaves, Vaani asks. "I could have added you before. You should have told —"

I smack Vaani's shoulder. It probably took her a lot of courage to talk to us today. If she's reprimanded for a mistake she committed right now, she might turn out to become more closed off and reserved. I want her to emerge from her shell and become as lively as her dance.

Vaani shoots me a confused look. "What?" She whispers.

I just shrug at her. Turning towards the little kid, I say, "You should be leaving now, Sara. It's getting late. Will I see you at practice tomorrow?"

She nods mutely, and without any more of unrequired communication, she runs away as fast as she can without appearing weird. I smile.

And as I watch her small form retreating into the hallway, away from the horde of students, I realise why I feel that tiny tug in my heart everytime I see her.

It's because I see a young version of myself in that ninth grader, afraid to mingle and always eager to retreat into my personal shell of comfort.