Everything to Live for - Konig x y/n

Chapter 10

"You have been such a good boy," you moaned. Your own pleasure was becoming too much to handle, and you feared you would explode before he got his way. "Okay, fuck me."

Konig sighed in relief and rapidly flipped you both over so that he was on top of you. He wrapped his hand around your neck, using it as leverage to pin your body down as he rammed his cock into you. You paused, only for a moment at the familiar but frightening feeling of his hands cutting off your air but conceded to the feelings rushing inside of you. Pleasure exploded in your stomach, traveling all the way down to your toes as you crumpled beneath him, moaning loudly. Your legs cinched shut around his thick body, trying to close and cut him off from the overstimulation.

A few thrusts later, just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, Konig finished inside of you with a low groan. Your sensitive walls felt his cock pulsing inside of you, shooting his release. He released his hand from your throat and pulled out, crawling up next to you on the bed.

Your own hand immediately came to cover the sore indents that his fingers had made. You silently got up from the bed and rushed to the bathroom, trying to hide your unshed tears from Konig.

"Y/n?" Konig called after you, but you didn't stop.

You shut the door behind you and turned the lock. The loud click resounded into the bedroom, throwing Konig into a panic as he had no clue what had caused you to run. He got up from the bed and took a few quick strides to the bathroom door.

You barely heard his desperate knocks echo against the walls around you as you cradled your knees on the bathroom floor, seemingly in a different plane of reality. You tried to calm yourself, rocking your body forward and back and reminding yourself that you were safe. Nothing seemed to stop your heart from hammering against your ribcage, your breaths shallow and weak.

You brought your nails to your neck, suddenly feeling itchy after having Konig's hands wrapped around it. The scratching distracted you for just a moment until Konig's voice finally broke through the barrier you had put around yourself.

"Y/n?" he questioned quietly. "Liebe, let me in. I need to make sure you're okay."

Your cries disrupted your silence; the tears spilling from your eyes causing your neck to sting from the marks you yourself had put there.

"Talk to me, or I am going to tear this door down," he demanded, becoming more and more frantic at the thought of you hurting yourself.

"I can't," you sobbed, unable to form any other words.

He couldn't stand the sound of you crying just feet away from him and not being able to do anything about it. "Please, Liebling. Just talk to me," he said, his voice breaking.

Just the sound of his voice was bringing you back down to reality. Your breaths started to even out and your heart was no longer trying to leave your chest. Tears continued rolling down your cheeks, but your body had calmed enough to slowly stand and walk to the door.

You unlocked it and cracked it open just enough to see Konig's pained face looking down at you.

At a loss for any words, you told him exactly what had happened. "You choked me," you said quietly, weakly.

His face fell, realization taking over his sad expression. He brought a hand up to his hair, riffling through it like he couldn't believe he had done that to you – that he could be that stupid and careless.

"Liebe," he choked out, his voice cracking. He pushed the door open softly and caught you in his arms as you threw yourself at him.

His biceps squeezed you tightly to his chest, trying to regulate you with pressure. "I am so sorry," he whispered into your ear.

You began crying again, at war with how safe you could feel in his arms despite how he had made you feel just minutes ago. The safeness Konig provided won, and you leaned further into him, placing all of your weight against his strong body.

"I will never do that again, okay?" he said to you, softly, as he reached for your legs and picked you up. He cradled you against him and walked you back to the bed.

"I'm sorry, Konig," you huffed out between sobs.

"Why, Liebling?" he asked, baffled. "You've done nothing wrong."

"I'm not as strong as you," you said to him, looking up at his regretful expression through wet eyelashes. You didn't understand how Konig could come back from the things he did and seem completely normal while you couldn't even imagine his hands coming near your throat without hiding away in the bathroom.

"It's not the superpower you think it is, y/n. I love you because you are you, not because of some strength you might feign."

"I am weak, Konig!" you argued, your voice becoming raw and exasperated.

"If you really think that, then you do not know yourself at all," he said, stroking a soft hand over your cheek to wipe your tears.

"I do, though. I've been like this my whole life. I can never move on from things, they just collect and stack upon each other until I can't function," you told him, your mind wondering to all the traumas you still held onto from your father.

"Like what, Liebe?" he asked, taking the opportunity to help you through painful memories.

"I went to therapy for a few years during college to try and work through things that happened with my parents. There were a lot of things I didn't even remember from my childhood until I started talking to someone, but then I just hit a wall. I couldn't even go to my sessions without freezing up." You looked at him cautiously, feeling exposed by sharing so much. A feeling of guilt washed over you – he was your husband; shouldn't you be able to tell him anything? You pushed forward at his encouragement, finally opening up about the things you held so deeply within you. "It was like I physically couldn't talk," you told him, a lump forming in your throat.

"Y/n," he began, holding your face in his hands. "How do you think I can come back from all I do and seem unchanged? I burry it too."

You thought his admission would make you feel better, less alone in your struggle, but it only made you feel worse. It confirmed the valley deepening between you two, the road separating you from honesty and healing. You felt more alone in that moment than you had in all of the days since Konig's return. How could you survive knowing that every time something bad happened, both of you stuffed it away?

"Okay," you said solemnly, cuddling back into his side to sleep the rest of your morning away, all the while thinking to yourself that, eventually, something had to give.