The Back of my Truck

Chapter 19

A few hours later, Riley and James were sitting in the truck again, driving to her home.

A bright smile was on the females face, as she had her head leaned onto the back of the seat, and her eyes set onto the road.

From time to time, she looked at James, who was slightly smiling as well.

Riley was happy. She tried her best to push the thoughts about James's sickness aside. She just did not want to think about it. Ever, preferably.

Though she knew, at some point, they would have to talk about it.

Just not right now.

All she wanted to do right now was spend as much time as she could with James. To feel like she felt back at the Brick. To fall in love. Even though there was this elephant in the room, obviously. But she just wanted to be happy with him. Maybe they would be lucky and James would get better again. Maybe they wouldn't have to go through anything bad anymore.

They came to a stand at the lantern, and Riley looked at the clock on the dashboard. It was 1.47 am.

Though it felt like an entire decade since she sneaked in his truck.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Riley said, her voice a little more quiet, almost a whisper as her eyes landed back on him.

The bare fact that they were this close only a short while ago made the pit of her stomach go crazy.

She would want to spend forever like this. In this bleached out yellow truck, with James by her side, driving God knows where.

James didn't really reply, other than a slight nod and a light chuckle fell from his lips as he looked down onto his feet.

"And maybe we can go on a real date, right?" The smile on Riley's face was still there, yet her voice was a little louder.

"Or not." That was all that James said to her, before he turned to face her.

"W-What? What do you mean with that, James?" Riley's voice was shaky now, and she scooted a little away from James, to be able to look at him better.

He didn't really reply. He just looked down at his feet again.

"Look, you got it all figured out." James spoke, looking up at Riley, his eyes were filled with sorrow as he looked at her, but there was something in them that Riley hasn't seen in him before.

It was as if he was purposely trying to push her away right now.

"I don't get it, what are you talking about?" Riley asked again, hoping that he would burst out laughing any second and tell her that he was just messing with her.

But from the sound of the sigh that followed her question, of his', it didn't look like he was messing with her. At least not in the way Riley hoped he was.

"You want to go to Yale, you are going to have a perfect GPA, you got it together Riley." He said, rather quick.

Riley felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest. She felt like it was literally breaking.

"And you have a boyfriend." James said. He knew himself that this was not a valid enough reason for them not to be together, but he tried his best.

"He seems like a nice guy, right?" James have Riley a hopeful look, who just stared down at her nails, her eyes filling with tears. "Way better than the cancer kid." He added, looking straight forward, as a tear fell from Riley's eyes.

"At least it wasn't out of sympathy for the cancer patient, in the beginning, I mean." James said, a smirk formed on his face as he looked at Riley who was sitting there, her hands fiddled with each other, and a look of shock on her face.

"You're an asshole, James." She said, her voice was shaky, yet it was rather hard.

"Can't help it, Riley." He replied to her, and that pushed her off the edge.

Why was he being like this? Couldn't they at least be together for now?

"Fuck you." She said, her vision for blurry again, as she spoke, her voice was shaky.

"You just did, partner." Was all he said, a smirk on his features again, as he turned to face Riley.

She just shook her head, before getting out of the truck. Shutting the door loudly behind her, as she quickly ran up the street, finally reaching her house, hearing his truck drive away.

She could already tell the difference between it and any other vehicle there was.

Though, that fact only made her sadder. As she finally reached her room, Riley locked the door behind herself, falling onto her bed, she rolled herself up in a ball, and fell asleep while she was still sobbing.

Meanwhile, James was navigating his car through town, on his way home.

He could still smell her scent in the car, that floral perfume she was wearing all the time. Or was it just the smell of her shampoo, he wasn't entire sure, but he loved and hated it both at the same time.

Loved, because of obvious reasons. How could he not fall in love with her? She was practically perfect. All her weird quirks, and her habits, her anxiety too, to some extent, and the way her voice would sound when she was talking to him. Weirdly, it only sounded like this when it was he, she was addressing.

Hate, because it kept reminding him of what he just did to her.

He basically did the thing teenage girls value the most, and then just cut her out of his life.

God, he hated himself.

But he knew that there was no way possible that the two of them would be able to be together without Riley getting hurt in the end.

He knew she would get hurt.

The way the cancer was already spread in his body, not even the doctors thought that he was going to make it through anymore.

They advised his father to let his son spend his last few weeks alive, at home, rather than locked up in a hospital room.

That's also why he was still attending school. His teachers knew how sick he was, and they knew that chances that he was even going to make it through the summer were slim to none, which was why they let him attend without grading him. Just so he could at least know what pretending to graduate felt like.

Riley knew none of that. And James wanted to keep it that way.

The best thing that could happen would be her going back to her little boyfriend, as much as this idea made James sick and furious, and forget about him, preferably before he would die, so she wouldn't have to go through the heartbreak.

James didn't want her to go through that. He never wanted there to be any hurt for her in her life, ever, and if he would be able to do so, he would wish to be the one keeping all the hurt and bad stuff that would come across for her in life, away from her.

But he knew there was no way that this was possible.