samjhe na duniya
tu toh mujhko samajhiyo
-sang rahiyo
I stirred the tea cup mindlessly. The Christmas lights still hung by the wall, something in me was desperate to rush back home today. The mild breeze brushing across my face made me miss home.
Saad grabbed the cup adjusting himself on the kitchen seat beside me cooing a soft "Hey".
I smiled not having the energy to converse. Worried, he grabbed my hand and placed it in his, "Are you okay?" I nodded.
"Are you on your periods?" I blushed, slightly embarrassed that he was asking me about my menstrual cycle directly. I mean it is kind of intimate. I sighed leaning onto his shoulder.
"How're your classes going?"
His triceps clenched under my influence. Wow, that was fun. Now, I feel mischievous.
He sipped on his drink looking straight at the white cabinets. I snuggled more onto his collarbone wrapping my loose arm around his neck. He gently secured his arm around my waist. This! This calmness, is what drew me towards him. The movies surely tell you about the lover's embrace but the utmost moment of peace it brings, you can only feel it while you are in your lover's embrace.
"How can I talk about my classes when my wife is sad?" I tell you, this is what heaven is named.
"I think you were right about the periods. It's mood swings."
He smiled pulling himself away from me. "Go, sit in your room."
"Huh?"
"Go, sit in your room. I'll be right back."
I did as he said, I was beginning to read St Lucy's home for Girls Raised By Wolves when the annoying ringtone blared through my phone. I shrugged receiving, "Hey mom"
Through the phone came her horrified voice, "Come home, please." The knots against my heart tightened with anticipations of everything that could go wrong. "What happened, mom?"
Amidst her sobs, I tried my best to keep calm questioning her again. "TELL ME,MOM!"
"Your father, he had a heart attack." Concussion ran over my brain as I sat imagining every horrid consequence. No, baba had to be here. Baba can't leave me. Nothing will happen to baba,
In shaa Allah. Ya Allah, unhein meri hayat de dein, please. (Give him some of my life) I cried and I prayed asking for my baba's life in trade of mine.
I was crying so hysterically that I did not notice Saad dropping all the packets he had in hand. Concern laced in his eyes as I wrapped myself around him. He carried me from the ground all the while rubbing my back. I clutched onto his shirt and cried.
"Meri jaan, what happened? You're making me anxious."
"Saad, baba. Baba, he, he had a heart attack." Saad grabbed his phone and dialed my family but none of them picked up, not even my brother.
"Jaanam, stay calm. Baba will be okay, In shaa Allah. I will pray two rakah's, wait."
"Can you book a flight? I want to go home." I knew that uneasiness was not for nothing.
"I'm trying, I already checked Emirates. All their flights are booked. Give me a minute, please. Just be patient. I'm right here. I'll check Qatar Airways."
How ironic is it that the planes that brought me beautiful beginnings now showed me the entrance to my horror story. Amongst all my worry, I did not notice we were seated in a business class cabin. I was confused about where did Saad get all that money from, we were mere students but my fears were so much bigger than the confusion at the moment. I thought about all the times baba laughed at me tripping over nothing, baba's music taste, his spontaneous egg-fried rice, every good memory clouded my mind. Saad had fed me some medicine forcefully that probably lulled me to sleep. I only woke up when we finally reached Delhi.
"Sehra, you haven't eaten anything since last evening. Have this sandwich, please?" Saad held out the sandwich before me as we sat in the car. With each growing second, my impatience grew. I nudged the driver for the third time to drive faster.
"I'll eat after I meet baba." Saad called my brother again and finally he picked up.
"Saad, bhaiya, I'm so sorry. Everyone was so tensed; I couldn't answer your calls. Baba is okay now. He had a mild seizure but he's out of danger. Have you guys arrived already?"
"Yes, Zunaid. We'll be home soon."
The heavy rock sitting on my heart slipped and I let go of the breath I was holding since last evening. Allhamdulillah, ya Rab. Thank you for everything.
"Baba's okay. Now, please, eat this. You haven't eaten anything since last night." Saad pleaded with his eyes as it dawned upon me that he probably hadn't eaten as well.
"Have you eaten, Saad?"
"I will eat with you. First, take a bite." I stared at the man who did his best to be with me, to not let me break apart. "Why did you purchase business class, Saad?" His eyes twitched as a wave pride(?) spread across his face. "There were no economy seats available and don't you worry, darling, your husband's rich. I had the savings from a startup I started a year ago. I couldn't continue the business after shifting though."
He just used all his savings for that flight? "I will pay you for it once we reach."
He looked dangerously at me, "No, you won't. You're my wife, okay? Whatever happens to you happens to me. Besides, baba's more important. I can earn the money anytime again."
I smiled gratefully as we reached the home, my home.
