"Did you had a lover?" The woman asked, as she took out the cotton swabs and started asking her now softly. Meerab frowned, why was she being interrogated, did they think the victims deserved to be assaulted. She was being victimized again, but this time it made her angry.
"No, I had no lover. I loved my husband until two days ago", she said calmly, the woman told her to relax her body and continued, "There is a sign of bruising on your thighs, but this could be also debated as wild s*x which they usually do".
"Why are you telling me this?" The woman shed her gloves and asked Meerab to lay there as she cleaned up some of the wounds applying a soothing gel on the irritated skin.
Meerab didn't like the intrusive questions, and the way the woman had no compassion for her. "I have worked in this field for three years, it's better you get a divorce because legal charges? They never work".
A tear dropped from her eyes and Meerab asked, "Can anger lead to a man r*ping you?"
The woman hummed, "It can, sometimes they beat you, they harm you and these days they kill. Their anger doesn't end until the victim is dead".
"How many..?" Meerab stopped seeing the look in the old woman's eyes. "Well I work eight hours a week, with no holiday. Have you taken any pill?".
Meerab shook her head, "Well it's late anyway if you get any symptoms come here we will take care of it". Meerab felt a mix of emotions during this conversation, from anger to vulnerability. She realized the woman might not be the most compassionate, but she seemed experienced. As she left the clinic, Meerab couldn't help but ponder the harsh realities of her situation and the need for a support system during such challenging times.
Marital rape wasn't considered a crime, because wives were considered a man's property.
Meerab wished she had married a man who hadn't victimised her in such a way, she would have preferred him killing her over this. He had once protected her, gained her trust, made her fall for him and broken her in a way she was incapable healing. She was fighting with her inner self that pleaded her to give up. Her pride was broken, her heart wanted to forgive, maybe because of fear or because of love.
As Meerab entered the Khan mansion, her eyes went to the sofa where she had sat on her mayun. Then the other one where he had made her heart beat for the first time, she remembered when she had accepted him.
He had proved himself to be a better man than she had thought in every way, he was a changed man. The man she married wasn't the man she knew, he loved her truly, she had realised that after he had taken an impact to protect her from getting hurt. He risked his life, that was it for her, it melted her heart, the walls she had built collapsed.
She had accepted him, but didn't realise it, that slowly she was falling in love. It was like a fairytale until he had asked her to jump off the terrace, to prove her innocence. She realised he didn't care for her like she had thought, for him his ego and his image were the most important.
He didn't love her, he loved the idea of her being his wife. If Haya had been in her place, he would have showered her with as much love.
It was frustrating, to go through so much trauma and for nothing. This man was insignificant, he didn't deserve her love. He didn't deserve to be her life partner, for him she was replaceable, "I should have understood this, the day he kicked me out".
Love should be based on respect, she hadn't respected his ideas so he kicked her out. But he never understood her point of view, the position Maryam was in, how she felt, Meerab knew about it. Having no choice, being forced to give up your dreams and your home for a wedding you never wanted was painful. It was ironic how Meerab could relate to Maryam's pain, she was the only one who understood her. Whenever she needed someone's support nobody stood by her, seeing Maryam alone, she could see her past self. So she stood beside her, supporting her at every moment.
She had naively thought, that if she had been forced into this engagement maybe she would have accepted him.
"Meerab", Maa begum called her, Meerab turned to her and looked into her eyes.
"Ye kya haal banaya hai tumne?" She didn't feel good, so maybe it was showing, "Kuch nahi Maa Begum. Woh sar dard h bas".
"Dawai li?" She asked Meerab shook her head, Maa Begum sighed, "Meerab mujhe pata hai tum udaas ho, humne tumhare saath ziyadti ki. Uss raat jo hua woh theek nahi tha, Murtasim sharminda hai...".
"Kis raat?" The night she was kicked out or the night he destroyed her. Which night was the worst?
"Maryam ne mujhe bataya tha, tumhara koi kusoor nahi tha un sab mai. You treated her like an elder sister".
Maryam- the only person who wasn't heartless or scheming in this house. Maryam had always taken her side and at last cleared her name once again. She wished for her and Murtasim to live a happy life, but it wasn't possible anymore.
After that night nothing remained the same, Meerab didn't speak, she kept quiet. Not uttering a word but her eyes held her truth, this family had broken her. From Maa Begum's heartlessness, to Haya's scheming she had leaned into Murtasim, but he had given her the final blow. And now Maryam, her reason to stay in this haveli was gone. She had went through the same fate as Meerab looked into Maa Begum's eyes she whispered, "Beti ko rukhsat nahi kiya aapne Maa Begum, apne usse aisi shaadi mai dakhela hai jisme na woh khush reh sakti na uska shauhar. Anas ne dhokha diya usse, magar aap logone, aap logone kya kiya uske saath? Uske aansu pochne, ussse galle lagane ke bajaye gaal par ek thappad aur dhokhe se usse nikkah kara diya. Aap logo ke liye apne khaandan ki izzat ke upar aur kuch nahi, khaandaan, khaandaan, khaandaan. Kitna bura nasseb layi thi Maryam, jo woh iss ghar mai paida hui, you have gotten rid of her Maa Begum. Your own daughter, and the way you have done it, what if Naurez raises a finger on her character? What if he kicks her out of his home? Kya karegi woh? Kaha jayegi?"
She was crying as she asked, "Uska toh koi ghar hi nahi hai. Yaha aayi toh aaplog usse wapas apne shauhar ke hawale kardenge. Maa Begum aap Murtasim ki har baat maanti hai, toh Maryam ki kyun nahi? Maana khaandan ka sarbarah hai woh, magar kya faida aisi jhooti izzat ka, jab woh apni khud ki biwi ko izzat na de paya. Jab woh uske liye khada nahi paya, lad nahi paya. Kya faida Maa Begum?"
Maa Begum's initial reaction was one of offense, and her face hardened as Meerab's words pierced through her. "Kya bakwaas kar rahi ho tum?" She retorted with anger in her voice.
But Meerab remained resolute. "Aapne uske saath ziyadati ki, magar kisi din aisi ziyadati Naurez ne ki uske saath toh wo kya karegi? Jawab dijiya Maa Begum. Aapne khud hi apni beti ko aise aadmi ke hawale kardiya... woh chup rahegi, because you never let her speak."
Maa Begum listened to Meerab's emotional outburst, her eyes betraying a hint of guilt and regret. She had been a part of the decisions that had caused so much pain to her daughter.
Meerab wiped her tears, "Maa Begum, it's not just about Maryam. It's about all the women in this household, about the way we are treated, the way our happiness is sacrificed for the sake of family honour."
Meerab walked away as she saw Maa Begum breaking down, not noticing the man who stood by the door listening to every word.
