Snippets

Where shall we go?

"Where shall we go?" she used to ask.

We met just occasionally, but that turned into meeting every day. I would always answer the same thing; I didn't know. I have lived in this town my whole life; she just moved in, so how come I didn't know about all these places?

I never knew how she gathered the energy; she was like the sun while I was acting like a cranky grandma. I didn't know how to live and enjoy life like her; I was always unnaturally aware of myself. Staring at the gorgeous scenery in front of me felt awkward; I got bored every time I realized my existence.

It was the summer that those movies, books, and songs talked about. I've always been jealous of that colorful life; I knew I would never experience something like that. Every summer before, I spent rotting in bed. I was fully aware that I was wasting my youth—my teenage years—but I couldn't move myself. I would have never guessed that I would get so blessed that I would meet her.

Where would I be without her? I would probably scroll on my phone mindlessly for hours. I've had friends before, but compared to her, they were just dim shadows. My parents were scared when we started meeting up; I never left my house so much.

How did she find all these spots? I remember the azure water in the lake that I never saw, even if I walked near it so often. The water was cold, but not cold enough to be fully satisfying. We splashed around for such a long time, like little kids. We jumped in with our clothes on and biked home all soaked, giggling the whole ride.

The memories were fading quickly; that always happened to me. I couldn't see the image in front of my eyes anymore, but all the pictures we took were plastered on my wall. I just can't let it go. Will all of my good memories be with you? Possibly. Oh, dear, you would probably be freaked out.

Remember our picknic? Pink blanket on long, itchy grass; it was a miracle we didn't get any ticks. Our bikes were thrown somewhere far, but we were too enchanted by the sunset to care. All the fruits we picked ourselves from my parent's garden tasted a bit weird, but we didn't say a word. The chocolate melted in the heat, making our fingers sticky and dirty.

How many times have we run away from the rain? I was always scared of storms; you were the only one who knew, even if I never told you. We were waiting in sketchy restaurants and shops for the rain to pass, our soaking wet hair leaving droplets on the floor.

It is embarrassing that I first got drunk at such a late age, but I never really had anyone to experience this with. Drinking away your heartbreak, it was the first time I saw you genuinely sad. My comforting words didn't do anything; I could see it on your face. I don't know how you got drunk so quickly; I didnt think that I would be better than you at this. As much as I love you, I won't be holding your hair up ever again.

Cheering at football games of teams we didn't even know the names of, acting like some fans. Did either one of us know the rules when we were angrily shouting at the referee? Of course not.

Spending hours in small shops, picking up every single thing just to put it back on the shelf. I was growing anxious because of the shopkeeper's expression, but you just didn't care. Did we ever buy anything? I'm actually not sure—maybe that ugly shirt that has been at the back of my closet ever since.

Doing our makeup, even if it melted right when we stepped outside, somehow looked good on you. Next to you, I looked like a little ugly duckling who hasn't even gone through puberty yet. My hair all sweaty, yours gorgeously falling down your back in precise curls. Outfits that looked good when I was leaving the house looked horrid next to you. I was never really jealous; I just noticed looking back at the photos.

Was there a thing we haven't done? Maybe this is a normal way of living for some, but for me? I will never get over it. I wish I could live like that forever, but all good stuff has to end for us to appreciate it.

I am slouchily sitting in my room, and the change was so sudden that the past didn't even feel real. I mean, we texted sometimes, but that wasn't the same. Why did you have to go to school so far away? You probably found new friends instantly; I was the only one crying in her bedroom full of stuffed animals.

A rock suddenly hit my window, and my eyes immediately lit up. I knew I wasn't imagining things. I knew that sound; it was too endearing to forget. I ran to the window and opened it wide, not caring about the harsh wind in my face. She was standing outside with a smile, and I almost forgot about her beauty.

"Where shall we go?" she yelled at me.

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summery