Mac came to Foster's at 3:00 PM as always but today he found his favorite red head character was ill.
"What's wrong with Frankie?" he asked Mister Herriman.
Mister Herriman was quite aggravated and said "well I think she's faking to get out of work but she says she's got a headache."
Mac slowly entered her room.
"Frankie" he called.
"Oh Mac I'm just a little under the weather."
"Really it's allergy season?" asked the young boy.
Frankie groaned as she held her stomach.
Mac asked if she had a stomachache and then Frankie yelled "motherfucker" and threw a lamp at him. Mac ran out of the room scared to death.
"Oh my God!" screamed the terrified boy.
Wilt came by and asked "Mac what's wrong?"
"Frankie's insane" Mac answered.
Wilt then stated "Frankie has a female problem Mac."
Mac didn't understand and replied "men get headaches too I don't understand."
Wilt said "oh that headache is just a part of what she has."
Wilt took Mac aside to a corner to explain to him what Frankie was going through.
"She bleeds out where?" Mac yelled.
Mac ran to the nearest bathroom and sat by the toilet. He put his head down between his knees hoping he would not throw up.
15 MINUTES LATER
"Mac where are you?" Bloo asked.
"Mac"
Mac screamed out "I'm in the bathroom Bloo."
Bloo got impatient and asked "when are you going to be done in there?"
Mac opens the door and explains Frankie is sick.
Bloo becomes puzzled and asks "well she's sick but you're the one in the bathroom?"
Mac says "never mind" and suggests they see Frankie.
When they enter Frankie's room she immediately apologizes for throwing a lamp at him.
Bloo is shocked and said "wow that's not like you Frankie I mean occasionally I want to throw things at Mac but for you that's way out of character."
Frankie apologized again and hugged Mac.
Bloo said "hey let's sing some songs to make Frankie feel better."
Bloo began singing the following.
"This land is my land. This land is not your land. I've got a shotgun and you've not got one. This land was made for only me."
Mac said "that's not the kind of song that's going to make her feel better Bloo."
Bloo then said "well how about I sing to her about beautiful people in France?"
Mac didn't understand but said "okay."
Bloo began singing the following.
"We live in France where the naked ladies dance. There's a king and a queen with a rubber ding a ling. There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all. There's a great big tower where the princess takes a shower."
Frankie groaned and threw them out.
"Bloo let's come to an understanding that Frankie is not amused by songs about naked bodies because she has PMS." Stated Mac
Bloo couldn't understand and asked "what the hell is PMS?"
Mac knelt and explained it all in Bloo's ear.
"She bleeds out where?" Bloo screamed and then he fainted.
Eduardo held Bloo until he woke up.
"Oh Senior Bloo you're awake!" Eduardo said
"Put me down Eduardo!" The blob said.
Mac had to ask Bloo if he was okay then explained to him that what Frankie was going through was a legit medical condition and she'd be okay.
"Well damn that's insane I'm just glad she'll be okay." Bloo commented.
"Eduardo wants to play her a song on the piano." Mac said.
Eduardo begins playing the piano.
"My potatoes tasted very funny. My potatoes tasted very odd. Soon I had a bad stomachache and was throwing up. Someone poisoned my potatoes and I almost died. I'm in the ER and they have to operate."
To say the least Eduardo's growling loud deep voice didn't soothe Frankie's pain nor did a song about being poisoned.
Bloo decided to play a song.
"Picture a dead woman in the outhouse. Imagine she was raped and strangled to death. Suddenly her body begins rotting. The stench from the outhouse would make you puke off the road along the side. Lucy in the outhouse with maggots. Lucy in the outhouse with maggots."
Mac stopped Bloo and asked him what the hell he was playing.
Bloo explained "Beatles songs cheer me up when I'm sick."
Mac became irritated and said "well Bloo it's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds not Lucy in the outhouse with roaches and those lyrics were horrible."
"Funny I remember hearing different lyrics. Why wouldn't the Beatles sing about cockroaches anyway? Beatles and maggots are both dirty bugs so they are in the same category."
Mac just groaned and smacked his forehead with his eyes shut.
Frankie got out of bed and said she was feeling a bit better.
"Well I'm glad you're feeling a bit better Frankie." Mac stated.
But then Cheese came up the stairs.
"I drank cow urine." Cheese said.
Frankie screamed as loud as she could and once again things were back to being insane at Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
THE END
