Born To Burn

Chapter 1.

Of course, it was the perfect cliche. Of course, I fell for him.

Of course, he played me like a goddamn violin.

As the queue moves forward, so do I.

It's only after all the necessary procedure is complete and I'm strapped to my seat, do I chance a glance at my phone again.

My reflection stares back at me in the cracked screen. Dark and distorted.

Kinda how I feel right now.

It works fine though. It can repaired. Just like me.

* * *

I've always loved the rain.

As a child, my mother used to call me, duaa, her blessing. Because she had prayed for me while I was in her womb, the way farmers desperately pray for rain in a famine or at least that's how my grandmother said it.

We lived in a small home in the outskirts of the city. Summers were rough with little respite, and the first rain was always memorable. We used to play in the rain until we were both soaked and shaking. Then she would rush me into the bath while grandma busied herself in the kitchen making us onion fritters. The steady sound of the sizzling oil, the way the dough turns crisp and golden — years later, it still made me nostalgic.

Not today, though.

Today, my mom and grandma are no longer around, nor are the onion fritters. Today, it's just me, the pouring rain and my (hopefully waterproof) luggage. Today, I hate it.

Stupidly, I hadn't checked the weather in my haste to leave. With little change left in my wallet and fewer vehicles outside the airport (thanks to the pre-booking system), I am very left with only one option: Walk.

It isn't that hard. I know where I'm headed. I've been here a few times. It's only a mile away. I've jogged way longer, I hype myself up. This will be easy peasy. Only problem is the people I'm headed towards have no idea I'm coming. Hell, the last I talked to them was at college graduation, three years ago.

I sneeze, startling a flock of birds. Wiping the water out of my eyes, I roll my luggage towards the airport exit. I'd swapped the baseball cap with a plastic takeout bag and it was drawing odd looks by every onlooker on the way.

It takes a while to reach the building. I had the misfortune of being splashed by a couple of cars and even stepped in a puddle while trying to avoid the third one.

Shivering, I cast my gaze upwards to check if anyone is home. The window is open so I take my chances. There's no elevator so I heave my bag the flight of stairs, pausing at every landing, until I reach the topmost floor. I'm panting for breath when I get there. It's just how I remembered - a shabby place, with paint peeling off in places. A couple of tiles had come loose over the years and the wobbled when I stepped on it.

It's a little worse for wear, I tell myself, clinging onto the last shred of hope, but hey, aren't we all?

If I'm lucky, this will be home.

There are two doors as I walk towards the end of the corridor. Drawing a deep breath and pasting a smile to my face, I knock.

A beat of silence.

Then I hear shuffling of feet, followed by furniture being pushed out of the way. The footsteps grow louder and louder until the door is pulled back. Suddenly, I'm staring into the first familiar face in the city.

"Ye-jun!" I gape.

He's seemed to have grown even bigger since the last I saw him. His huge frame nearly takes up the whole entrance. There are paint splatters on his overalls and his cheeks, his brown hair a complete disarray even when it's parted to the middle. He's still got big doe eyes and baby boy face, transformed over the years only by the slightly sharper jawline snd cheekbones.

When our eyes meet, he blinks down at me, mouth parted. "Uhh-"

"It's me, Tamaya." I manage to say, "remember me?"

His hand grips the door case. Belatedly, I realize it's now covered in tattoos, all the way into the rolled up sleeves of his shirt.

"You- oh god, you," he splutters, unable to finish the sentence even his eyes seem to grow impossibly bigger. His hands slide off the door and begins to sway in his place. "Oh fuck, she's gonna flip-"

I frown. I try to reach out to steady him but before I can so much as take a step, he misses his footing and collapses with a thud. I swear I felt the ground shudder.

"Watch out!" I yell rushing to help him up. I try to get him off the floor only to realize he's already passed out. Out of the corner of my eye, I see another figure hurrying over. "Ye-jun!" We both scream in unison.

The figure comes to a grinding halt.

Our eyes meet as if in slow motion.

My gaze travels down to her swollen belly while she blinks rapidly like her husband, taking in the face of an old friend.

"You-" we gasp together. "You're pregnant!" "You're supposed to be getting married today!"

"Are you — what are you doing here!" She exclaims, dropping her husband back on the floor as she takes a step back to gawk at me. Her breath hitches. "Tammy, what the fuck are you wearing?"

Too late I realize the takeout bag is still over my head.

Sheepishly, I yank it off.

"I just- I couldn't go through with it." Tears well up in my eyes as I meet her gaze. A wave of longing and sadness and nostalgia washes over me.  "Nari- I- I have so much to say. Fuck, I really missed you!"

At this she pauses. Her eyes narrow to slits. "What?"

"I missed you."

She strides over her husband's body until she's almost nose to nose with me. I blink. There's a storm brewing in those grey eyes and it's about to hit.

"You have no right." She seethes.

"Nari."

"Cut the crap, bitch."

And with that she slams the door in my face.

* * *

A/N

So my exams got postponed and I have more time to study. This also means, the book that was supposed to start in march 2024 will be delayed a little longer. Still, I couldn't hold myself back and decided to type out another chapter. You guys have been so patient and kind to me in the comments, I really appreciate it. :,)

Updates in will be sporadic but I will try to post once in two weeks until the end of Feb. I will set a proper schedule once I'm done with exams and start in my residency. <3