Scars

Chapter 4

Your alarm was buzzing, reaching over you turned it off and rubbed your eyes. You slept in until at least noon. You blinked away sleep and just stared at your bag on the floor, you didn't really think about it yesterday but now it's all you could think about. Being alone, for a week, with Soap.

Should you be worried? Excited? You had no idea. You enjoyed Soap's presence, he gave you a sense of calmness over your stressful mindset and always seemed to be the first one to say hello to you in the morning as well as being the only one he willingly speaks to as soon as he woke up. You shook your head, focus Y/N, don't start getting distracted. You told yourself, but what else were you to do? You guys were sitting ducks for a week straight basically just watching. And you were expected to not fall even more in love with him? Love? Is that what you felt? Again, you shook your head trying to clear it from your brain. Right now what mattered was getting ready to leave and the next 7 days was to focus on the mission. A knock was heard on your door, "Rise and shine!" You heard Price yell as he passed, "Already up Cap!" You shouted back. Grabbing a change of clothes you headed to the shower.

After the shower you slipped on your regular clothing attire and laced up your combat boots. Braiding back your hair and brushing your teeth quickly you turned back around towards your bag. Another knock heard, "Yeah?" You yelled and the door opened slightly, "You ready, we leave in an hour." Soap asked peeking his head in. You nodded, "Okay." He said and shut the door.

—1300—

"Remember, every move they make and every word they speak is recorded and reported back. Is that clear?" Price asked, "Yes sir." You and Soap both said before he gave you both a pay on the shoulders and you turned towards the helicopter that was flying you out. They were going to drop you off at least 3 miles out, careful to not draw attention and you were walking the rest of the way. Soap carried an extra bag of MREs and some extra supplies like fire starters and such. Sitting down in your seat you placed your bag beside you as Soap climbed in after and sat across from you. He gave you a nod and you slipped on your headset as well as he. "How do you copy Sergeant?" He spoke into it, "Loud and clear." You replied and he gave you a thumbs up as the bird rose into the air.

The bird hovered over an area before landing down. You took off the headset you were wearing and placed it back where it was found. You grabbed your bag and hopped off after Soap, he gave Nikolai the signal and he took back off. "Ready for our little hike?" He asked and you nodded, "Yeah I guess." You said, you were tired. Your legs felt like Jell-O from sitting so long and only now stretching them out.
Soap led the way and you followed, quite a bit of time passed already by now and you could hear the faint bass of music in his earbuds as you walked. You loved being outside, you looked around and admired the beauty of everything around you. Soap interrupted your thoughts, "Shouldn't be much further." He said glancing behind him at you, "If you say so, following the leader." You said back with a smirk and he chuckled. His pace slowed so he was beside you on your left.

He nudged your arm with his and you looked over "What was that for?" You ask and he shrugs, "I don't know what you're talking about." He said playfully, a small smirk tugging at his lips. You shake your head. Maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad after all. After walking for what seemed like days you saw a small cabin ahead, you became hopeful as you neared it. A small pond was in front of it, you could see some of the fish on the shallow ends, the water being almost crystal clear. Soap turned and motioned for you to stop, he slung his rifle to his front and approached the door with silence and caution. After deeming it clear you stepped inside. It was small, a wood-stove sat in the corner on some tile, a small kitchenette with only a refrigerator and sink and some small counter space and one bed. The bed caught your eye, either one of you were taking the floor or you both were taking the bed. Soap quickly answered your question in your head, "I'll take the floor." He said throwing his bag at the foot of the bed. You threw yours beside his and walked around the small one room cabin. "The enemy base is about half a mile East of here, they'll never know we're even here." He said as he started laying out a blanket for him to sleep on and propping his bag as a pillow. He slid his gear off and laid down on the blanket and put a hand behind his head and the other on his stomach closing his eyes. You rolled your eyes, it wasn't even 1900 yet. But you too started feeling tired so you laid in the bed for now. Should I offer him to share it? You thought to yourself, even though he probably wouldn't anyways in fear he may make you uncomfortable. You curled up with your blanket and laid there until your eyes closed.

The blade slashed at your arms, trailing down in a vertical direction in hopes you'd just bleed out entirely. The men laughed as you struggled against it, your face was hot and dripping blood from the cut from your eyebrow down your cheek to your chin. Your vision spun and your arms felt heavy. You fell onto your side as all you saw were the men kicking you. The pain was numb at that point, the man who you spat at earlier then grabbed you and sat you back up. "She will talk soon." He said as he grabbed a metal bar and raised it to swing.

You sat up, breathing heavily. This time you weren't in the comfort of your own room with a recognizable surrounding so it made things worse and your breathing picked ip even more. You felt the bed dip in front of you and a pair of hands on your face but you couldn't pin point where they were coming from. You heard speaking but couldn't make out the words or who it was, your mind was spinning out of control. Eventually your body was yanked forward and your forehead hit something solid but there was a comforting scent. You started to come to your sense slowly and tears fell from your eyes as his arms held you tightly while one hand rubbing your back and the other one cradling your head. After realizing what was happening you quickly pulled back and wiped your face, "I am so sorry." You said getting up and walking to the door, ignoring his words behind you. Opening it you were met with cool air that prickled your skin, you sat down. You didn't care if it was the dirt or a chair, you just collapsed. You hung your head and a couple more tears fell, he just witnessed one of your PTSD attacks. You felt ashamed that he had to be the one to deal with it.

You felt a pair of arms wrap around you again and this time you allowed it, leaning into him and  using him as leverage. He just held you as your breathing slowed to a normal pace, using his heart beat to calm you down. After some minutes passed you felt him shift as he slowly lifted you to your feet. He didn't question you, he didn't pester for answers. He just led you back to the bed and watched as you crawled back in, he rested a hand on your shoulder before pulling away to walk back to his blanket. "Johnny..." you said softly and he stopped, looking over at you. "Yea?" He asked, you hesitated. "Can you..." he must have got the hint because he nodded, "Of course." He said coming to the other side of the bed and climbing in. You shuffled closer to him and he just wrapped his arms around you. Your forehead rested on his chest and you felt tears welling back up but you refused to let them fall. You felt him move his head as he placed a kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment and you froze. Did he just..? So casually..?

"Try and sleep, I'm right here." He whispered.