If You Want Me Too, I Will (Beatle Fan Fiction)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It turned out not to be a dream. This disappointed me on all kinds of layers. I couldn't find my thoughts in my head anymore, all of it was leaking out of the side. I could describe what I was feeling, I could think mostly. Yet, I was feeling and thinking things I didn't want to even be near. It was painful and yet it was so soothing.

There was this strange sense of calmness too. As if I wasn't so stressed for just a few moments in time. I only thought about the emotion and the reaction and how I was to feel about all that was going on, and how everything I normally thought about was dripping out of my ear and being washed away.

After it all, I got up and rushed off. He did follow me inside, "Dewey! Dewey? It doesn't have to mean anything!" I got him in the living room, before locking the front door, and rushing up the stairs. I knew he couldn't follow me, and I hoped he wouldn't be shouting after me either. He didn't, he was too much of a do good-er.

I crawled into my bed, with my hands shaking. I sat staring at the ceiling, watching the shadows sit and stare back. This was something strangely new, yet familiar. I had never been so frightened in my life, and I had to breathe again, but I seemed to have forgotten it.

Slowly I realized what was happening, the war has ruined me for everything.

Sometime that night, I shut my eyes and fell asleep. There wasn't a moment where I fell into a heavy enough sleep, it all just kind of fading in and out over and over. The moments were replayed in my mind again and again; my dreams had the emotions from it all, being each moment slowed down and made much more dramatic.

I had no sense of time, it was all the same that night. He could have kissed me at 10 or at 5 in the morning, and I would have no idea. It didn't really matter what the time was. In Liverpool, I had all the time in the world, but no space to breathe.

But, there was one time I managed to find.

"Dewey, Dewey, wake up a little bit please, just for a moment, Dewey?" It was a recognizable male voice, and came with him poking at my side. I almost thought this was part of my dream, but I opened my eyes slightly to realize it wasn't. Or at least, I had woken up in another dream, because I was so tired.

"What...what?" I couldn't see that great anyway, I needed my glasses, but I was so lost, I was still asleep.

"I have to go, me mum is probably worried like hell about me, and I don't think your mum wants me here anyway," My brain slowly processed his words, and I blinked three times.

"Oh, well alright," I yawned largely. If there was anything I could see, it was the bright blue eyes that stared down at me.

"Dewey, I-I'm going to miss you," I wish now that I was awake, but I wasn't awake. I rubbed one brown eye with the back of my hand, not sure of what to say back or if to decide to go back to sleep or back to another dream.

"Um, I'll ah, I'll miss you too," Too tired to continue, I turned on my side, away from him, and began to slip. He let out a breath, and moved my hair from my cheek.

"Good night, er morning Dewey, I'll see you Monday," He touched my cheek with his lips, making my eyes fly open. I felt a tingle on my cheek, that spread across my skin and warmed my face. All the feelings I felt last night returned and heightened I didn't dare move, I couldn't move. All I did was lay on my small bed, and let him stand back up straight. He left quickly but as quiet as possible, as to not wake my mother.

I heard his large steps down the stairs, and he was gone. I wasn't lying. I did miss him. The presents really, someone you could look at and not fear, or at least, fear only your reaction.