Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart - GerIta

Chapter 8

Feliciano could feel himself breaking. So this was it... this was the last time. He let the tears rise and hid his face against Ludwig's neck. He started to wonder if he had made the right decision in coming here this morning. This was a torture worse than anything the Gestapo could possibly do to him. Ludwig ran a hand gently up Feliciano's back, brushed the hair at the base of his neck. He took a shuddering breath against Feliciano's ear.

"I can not stay today."

Feliciano gasped, the pain in his chest turning to panic. He shot upright, rigid with shock. "What? No!"

Ludwig's eyes were pained. "I'm sorry. I should not even be here. I only have a few moments..." He looked at the ground, his cheeks reddening slightly. "Only a few moments, but I had to spend them with you. But I have to be at the base today."

Feliciano was speechless. He blinked rapidly in shocked disbelief. This was the one day they had left, and Ludwig was leaving immediately. It was too cruel.

"I'm sorry." Ludwig touched Feliciano's tears with cold, gentle fingers. He furrowed his brow. "You are different today, Feliciano. Is everything all right?"

Feliciano blinked away his shock and nodded. He was lying again. Why did he always have to lie... "I just don't want you to go."

"I know." Ludwig ran his hand down Feliciano's cheek, brushing away his tears. Feliciano's eyes fluttered shut as he focused on the feeling.

"Tomorrow, Ludwig. Meet me tomorrow, early."

"I can't tomorrow."

"No, that's right." Feliciano heard his voice coming from somewhere else. "Tomorrow you have a meeting." Ludwig froze briefly, a fleeting expression of surprise crossing his face. "Don't you?" Feliciano continued quickly. "I just assumed."

"Yes. Tomorrow I have a meeting."

"Oh." Feliciano felt lightheaded. Like nothing was real. Like he was watching all this from far away.

"But maybe the day after that."

"Yes. Yes, maybe." Feliciano smiled even though he felt like dying. "It's so unfair, isn't it?"

Ludwig nodded slightly. "It is unfair."

Feliciano clutched tightly to Ludwig's hands, stared intently into his blue eyes. Today they were darker, like the sky. "Stay with me, Ludwig. Stay with me today, and tonight, and tomorrow. Surely your meeting is not that important. Stay here with me, like this, all night." Stay with me forever...

Ludwig raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly. "In this weather? The storm is about to break."

"I don't care."

Ludwig sighed, his smile fading. "I really am sorry. I wish I did not, but I have to go. And you should get inside."

Feliciano's blood was like ice in his veins. He could not stop him. What could he say? He swallowed the grief choking his throat and tried to smile. "Then... then küss mich, Ludwig."

Feliciano could not believe how different a kiss could be. Only yesterday, his first kiss, and he had never felt so happy or right in all his life. Now it was his last and it felt like he was dying. Like he was losing the only thing that had ever really meant anything. Ludwig would leave and Feliciano would fall apart and nothing would ever, ever be able to put him together again. As his lips pressed against Ludwig's, their hands clasped tightly together, Feliciano tried to commit everything to memory. The way Ludwig smelled like grass and leather and always that slightest hint of something he could not describe; the way his skin felt so warm, so much softer than expected; the way he held Feliciano so tightly, but never enough to hurt. Feliciano held him as though it would stop him leaving, as though if he never let him go they could stay like this forever. But then it was over and Feliciano wondered how these fleeting memories were supposed to last a lifetime. When the kiss broke Feliciano's heart broke with it. Ludwig stood and pulled Feliciano to his feet.