Love You Again (DawnDory)

Thought. 💙

After the birthday party in Lonesome Flats, John had drove Rhonda back to Pop Village. He pet her head and parked her in front of Branches bunker, Since that's where he'd been staying. Not just because of all the time he'd missed with his little brother through the years but it was just nice to be close to him. Some nights he'd hang out with Branch and Poppy in the bunker, Just talking, telling stories, catching up. It made him feel whole again. A feeling he was so scared to feel for a long time but now he was finally glad that he had those feelings.
He hadn't told anyone that he was leaving the party, Everyone just kind of noticed he was gone while they were cleaning up, Especially Floyd who hadn't even seen him leave. He stepped into Branches bunker, Since Branch was lenient enough to tell him how to get in, and grabbed a few canned drinks and snacks, Like regular sodas, Ice cream and a jar of cookies just because it had been a while since he'd stocked up with food to keep within Rhonda himself. He sighed as he opened to door to Rhonda and set everything down on a small counter inside, Since Rhonda was practically an RV anyway. His thoughts and emotions ran wild, Thinking of everything that that Floyd had asked him, Processing that he'd seen Delta again after so many years, Knowing that Delta (rightfully) still held a grudge against him even after so long. It was just something that had certainly got his mind running.
These thoughts continued to run as he popped the lid off of the tub of Ice cream he had brought from Branches bunker and dug a large spoon into it. Stress eating was something that he typically did when he was stressed out or had certain thoughts running through his head. He flopped down onto the sofa that was located at the end of the RV with a loud sigh. He popped the large spoonful of iced cream into his mouth as he stared up at the ceiling.
"I'm the same old John Dory." He muttered to himself as he swallowed the ice cream he had put in his mouth and then put another spoonful in his mouth before speaking again. "Running away from your issues."
The issues he was referring to was everything that had happened with Delta. He knew that he'd hurt her and even behind all the anger that was on Deltas face whenever she had saw him again tonight, he could see the hurt. It made his stomach churn seeing how Delta was doing now. She was successful, She had a niece, she was the sheriff and leader of Lonesome Flats, Yet still, his actions had hurt her deep, and he ran away from the party when he felt like things were becoming too much. Getting asked things by Floyd and getting dirty glances from Delta every now and then were the main causes. These thoughts had him downing the ice cream faster than he expected which caused him to get a severe brain freeze, He dropped the tub of ice cream and groaned as he held onto his head.
"And you're still an idiot.."
He muttered to himself.
Tears began to fill his eyes, but he didn't know why. Delta hadn't told him off at the party, nothing tragic had happened, he wasn't physically hurt, He didn't know why he was crying. He stared at the ceiling as his tears fell, not bothering to pick up the now leaking and melting tub of ice cream on the ground.

After staying like that for nearly an hour, His face red and stained with his own tears, he groaned as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. He finally got up off of the sofa and walked to the counter he had sat his snacks down on, but instead of grabbing another snack or putting the snacks away, He kneeled down and opened a small compartment that was on the counter. Inside was a really old box, that looked slightly dusty and dirty but luckily still intact. He sat on the floor and put the box on his lap before opening it, Inside were all of the songs he had written for Delta..As well as the ones that Delta had written for him..All those years ago. He knew he should probably get rid of them, Or burn them or maybe even give them back, but for some reason a part of him just couldn't bring himself to give them up. He rummaged through the box for a moment before grabbing a piece of paper with one of the songs that Delta had written for him on it, She had beautiful cursive handwriting..Something that even now he admired. He ran a finger over the now old and slightly crinkled paper, Specifically over the words as he felt his eyes grow watery again.
John remembered the specific day that she had written this song for him..The Sun was setting in Lonesome Flats..She was so excited to show him. Moment like that were things that he really really missed. Things he regretted leaving behind.
He glanced at the paper once more, A specific part of the lyrics sticking out to him.

"𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩
𝙁𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙪𝙨 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜..
𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙮 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜."

Johns emotions seemed to already get out of hand just by those lyrics as he practically threw the paper back down in the box and curled his knees to his chest as he began to cry. Quiet crying turned into low sobbing. He felt like an idiot.
"Stop crying!." He sobbed out to himself. He just began to blubber and talk aloud to himself.
"All I do is run Away!"
"I left her! I shouldn't be crying!"
"Shut up just shut up!"
He began to dig his hands into his hair..His low sobs coming to a stop as he looked into the counter compartment again and he pulled out Deltas old Banjo..The one she used to play to him all those years ago. He looked at it with his teary eyes for a few moments before quickly hugging it to his chest. His crying continued which earned a sympathetic rumble from Rhonda, She could tell he was upset.
"I'm fine girl..Don't worry.." John said getting up from the floor now in response to Rhonda's sounds of sympathy. He trudged back over to the sofa and flopped down on it, Still hugging Deltas banjo to his chest. His eyes soon grew tired..From his crying..And because it had grown to be pretty late anyway.

John knew that he was wrong to leave Delta. 
John knew that he had hurt Delta.
John didn't blame Delta for holding a grudge.
But there was something that he wasn't letting up on, something that he wouldn't even blubber or sob about when he was in his own moments of pure sadness, Something that no one else had knew. He knew why he felt all of this guilt..And it wasn't just because he had left Delta all of those years ago..But Because there was a reason that he had left in the first place, A reason he couldn't bring himself to tell.

(Bonus points to those who know what the song I chose the lyrics from is from, And thanks for all of the support on this story!)