entangled in the roots of my love

Denial

The last time I played Smash Bros Ultimate was a few years ago through my former friend and all I really did was pick Corrin and not engage and spam side B and sometimes up B.

Vernias squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath, and slowly opened them, exhaling sharply at the sight of the anemone petals. Vernias spotted a few blood splatters around the area the petals had settled. The taste of iron lingered on his tongue, but his mouth suddenly felt very dry. He stood still, hunched over the bathroom sink, and continued to stare, watching the blood dilute itself as it slowly slipped down the drain.

Were all those stories really true...?

The sound of Nick's footsteps coming closer to the bathroom snapped Vernias out of his thoughts, and he quickly scooped up the petals with toilet paper, crumpling everything into a ball and throwing it into the trash bin. He poured water into a cup and quickly gargled on it to wash his mouth out. Wiping his mouth with a towel, he breathed in and out momentarily to try to reset his thoughts.

Can't let him see me like this...

Vernias looked behind his shoulder at the trash bin one last time before exiting the bathroom.

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Vernias mumbles something before he groggily opens his eyes slightly. He reaches out for his phone on his nightstand and checks the time. Still half-asleep, Vernias sits still briefly before flopping back onto his pillow and pulling the blanket up to right under his chin. He doesn't have too many plans for today, so maybe he can sneak in an hour or two of shut-eye. He almost falls asleep when the smell of sizzling bacon wafts into Vernias's room. His stomach growls, and Vernias rolls out of bed.

As he's about to leave his room, Vernias suddenly recalls what had happened after dinner. His hand pauses mid-turn on the doorknob as Vernias purposefully clears his throat to check. Nope, his throat feels perfectly clear. No scratchy tingling in his throat, and definitely no need to cough something up at the moment. Vernias begins to laugh and facepalms, shaking his head before he exits the room.

It must have been a dream. Yeah, that's it. It was just a bad dream. How silly of him to get worked up over this.

"Good morning," Nick says, standing by the stove as Vernias walks over to him. There are two plates of eggs and pancakes placed next to the stove and Nick grabs them one at a time, adding bacon strips from the pan he was cooking them in. He hands the plates to Vernias who brings them to their kitchen table along with 2 pairs of forks and knives. They sit down next to each other, and Vernias bites his lip nervously, a sense of deja vu dawning on him.

"Don't choke on your food this time, ok?" Nick says teasingly. Despite his smile, Vernias can't tell if he's imagining things or if there is actually a hint of concern in Nick's eyes. But it disappears before Vernias can make a conclusion, so Vernias just rolls his eyes and playfully pinches his cheek lightly with a smile. He turns his attention to his plate of food, and they spend the rest of their breakfast eating in silence. Vernias finishes his breakfast first and washes his plate at the kitchen sink.

"Thanks for making breakfast," Vernias tells Nick as he wipes his plate with a towel and placed it in the dishwasher. "It tasted really good." Nick grins at the compliment and finishes his own breakfast, dropping off his plate to wash later. Vernias is about to head back to his room when Nick taps him on the shoulder. Vernias stiffens a little, perhaps due to their previous conversation still being fresh in his memory.

"Do you want to play Smash Ultimate with me?" Nick asks, pointing his thumb towards his room. "It suddenly hit me that it's been a while since we've last played against each other so... what do you say?" Vernias tries to pinpoint the last time they've both sat down for a 1v1. 6... no... maybe 7 months?

Vernias can feel the inside of his throat tingle slightly.

"Yeah, I'm down," Vernias replies, trying to make sure he doesn't sound too happy about playing a fighting game with his roommate (and crush) in over half a year. Nick smiles and pulls Vernias along by the hand to his room.

His throat was completely fine. The tingling sensation from earlier totally didn't get worse. Something wasn't poking its way through his throat.

Vernias sits on Nick's bed as Nick sets up his console, connecting it to the TV monitor hanging on one side of the wall. Nick turns on the TV and sits next to Vernias as the title screen cutscene begins to play out. They load up the character select menu and pick the characters they always start off with. As the match starts and Lucina and Pit are summoned to the stage, Vernias and Nick lean forward a little where they are seated with their controller in their hands. For the next few minutes, the only sound in the room is the clicks from Vernias and Nick vigorously pressing the buttons on their controller.

"Dude, you're mashing," Vernias tells off Nick, who smirks while still keeping his attention on the screen. The match ends with Vernias taking Nick's last stock in an pretty clean sweep, and Vernias grins at Nick, his smile growing wider as Nick mutters to himself.

"Rematch," Nick declares as he reselects his character. "Actually, let's make it a best of 5. I'll get back into the groove of things with a few more matches. I haven't touched this game in a long while, so I need some time to jog my muscle memory."

"Sure you do," Vernias replies, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he decides to stick with playing as Pit for now. As they play out the rest of their matches, the tension in Vernias's muscles dissipates. He hadn't realized how much he sorely missed just sitting down next to Nick. Being able to let go of his worries even if it was for just a brief moment. Throwing jabs at each other back and forth in good fun. It's almost like the old days before Vernias started heavily dedicating his time to higher education and Nick slowly began to branch out away from his former life so quietly that Vernias wasn't even sure when the starting had been. Both of their schedules had given both of them less opportunities to take the time out of their schedule to do the things they used to do together. But Vernias is happy in the present moment as he wins against Nick in their fourth rematch, thus winning his best of five against Nick.

After all, that might have been the last match he ever plays against Nick. At least he ended it on a high note for himself.

Vernias's controller slips out of his hands as Nick tickles him out of nowhere, a sly smile on his face. Vernias wants to really call him a sore loser, but starts laughing too much for him to formulate a sentence very well. Vernias reflexively curls up onto the bed, his face turning red from how hard he's laughing. And a little part of his heart wants to just stay like this, to relish in this simple happiness for a little longer. Vernias rolls over, still giggling and laughing and clutching at his sides and coughing and coughing and coughing-

"Shit, I'm sorry," Nick says, immediately withdrawing his hands away from Vernias's sides Nick scoots away from Vernias to give him a chance to breathe as Vernias jolts upright, his eyes widening. Vernias wants to pull Nick back and place Nick's hands back on his sides and maybe around his waist as well. It's a tiny spark of desire that lasts for a split second before being smothered.

"It's okay," Vernias replies, but his voice sounds strangely muffled. Nick stares at him curiously before standing up.

"I'm going to go get water," Nick says as he begins to leave his room. "I'll get a glass for you too, ok?" Vernias nods his head as a gesture of appreciation. Nick takes one more look at Vernias before turning around and leaving the room. Vernias counts to 3 with his fingers before quietly exiting the room and running to the bathroom. Upon entering, he quietly closes the door before rushing to the sink and spitting furiously into the sink. He stares in dismay as a bundle of liatris spikes coated in saliva and blood lands onto the sink, a few tumbling their way into the drain.

So it wasn't a dream after all.

Why? Why was this even happening to him? If those stories he heard way back held at least a grain of truth this entire time, what was in store for his future?

His relationship with Nick?

He looks up at the mirror above the bathroom sink, and his reflection smiles at him listlessly, tears beginning to swell around his eyes and slowly trickle down his face.