it's okay if it's you | ishman ✓

CH: 20

shubman squints his eyes. “details.”

“god, he was a real estate agent,” ishan says, laughing. he lays down on the bed, signaling shubman to move over.

“in a club?”

“how professional.”

“damn.” shubman adjusts himself beside ishan, scooting closer out of habit. “oh, so he was talking about checking out properties together when he asked if you’re free this weekend.”

“why were you eavesdropping?” ishan feigns a gasp.

when shubman doesn’t respond, ishan rolls his eyes. “idiot, you think i’ll go out with anyone just like that? a man, at that.”

“i thought-”

“well, you thought wrong,” ishan cuts him short. he hesitates, “you’re the only guy i’ve been…intimate with.”

shubman’s eyes widen a little, his traitor heart skipping a beat. “oh. um, okay.”

ishan looks away, and starts counting the patterns on the curtains. ‘that was so irrelevant,’ he mentally groans.

shubman inhales sharply. “you can’t keep doing this to me.”

ishan turns to him. “huh?”

shubman’s intense eyes hold him down. “you can’t reject me and go on to say shit like that. it makes me…happy. i know i shouldn’t be.”

ishan remains still, not quite knowing what to say. “i never said that everything we did meant nothing to me. you just assumed it all by yourself.”

shubman yearns so much, it hurts. he wants, wants and wants. he’s never wanted something so desperately before.

“you’ll make it impossible to move on,” he says, breathing heavily.

ishan mumbles a “sorry.”

“don’t be. i don’t want to move on.”

“don’t be ridiculous,” ishan says, furrowing his brow. “you’re my best friend, i won’t let you hurt yourself like that.”

“i can take it.”

“you don’t have to.”

shubman shifts, turning to face ishan completely. he wants nothing but to wrap his arms around the smaller one’s frame, feel the comfort that only holding him can provide. 

“did you like seeing me with that girl back there?” he asks, suddenly.

ishan fiddles his thumbs, averting his eyes. “what’s that got to do with this?” 

“just answer me.”

“i wasn’t staring at you two, you know? i was just curious, it doesn’t concern me.”

“ishan.”

“who the fuck cares anyway, shubman?”

shubman grabs him, pulling him closer, their bodies flushing against each other. ishan’s heart thumps against his chest. 

“i asked, if you liked seeing me with her? it’s a yes or no question,” he says, clenching his jaw.

ishan holds his breath, feeling shubman’s fingers sinking in his waist. it’s been so long that he forgot the heat of proximity between them and the unwanted excitement it pools in his stomach. 

“no.”

a small smirk plays on shubman’s lips. “that’s all i needed to hear.”

ishan starts to protest, “that doesn’t prove anything-”