The Heaven to my Hell

Apology Accepted - Chuuya's POV

We stood there in silence for a bit. Clearly the emotions had been very high. All I could do is hold Dazai and hope he didn't break down into a hot mess. Humans are very emotional.

Everyone seemed to have calmed down a bit. Dazai had cried a bit, but he had stopped a few minutes ago. Akutagawa was more confused than any of us. I was devastated. I never knew that he did that to himself.

The cuts on both of ours arms had stopped bleeding, but they still hurt like hell. Even though we had calmed down for the most part, I could still feel a few tears shed from my eyes. The thought that he would do this to himself was devastating.

Dazai was hugging me by my waist. He was very clingy and clearly did not want to let me go for a long while. Everyone was silent. You could easily hear a pin drop from the floor above us. I decided to break the silence after a short while.

"Are you...feeling any better?" I ask Dazai. He slightly nodded, but his response was very different. "I know you're disgusted by what you saw." He stated. I raised an eyebrow. Why would I be disgusted by that?

Before I could ask, he kept talking. "I know it was horrible and I'm so, so sorry I did that to you. I totally forgot that you could feel the pain I did and I promise I won't do it again. I swear. I know that I probably looked like a monster, but I swear I'll stop." He explained.

I stayed silent for a couple moments before suddenly hugging him tighter than I had ever hugged anyone. I was on the verge of tears, which was strange to me. I had never cried for a human like this before. I had never been like this to a human. Not even when I was alive and actually a human.

So how was he the one and only exception to my feelings? Why did I care more about this boy than anyone I have ever met. It didn't matter to me at that moment. I only cared about keeping him comfortable and staying by his side.

"I was never disgusted. I would never be disgusted by you. I just wished that I knew about this so I could help you through it. I care for you so much and I don't like to see you like this. And care for you and I wanna be there for you and I...I..."

I couldn't even breathe properly. I was starting to choke on my own tears. I blame myself for everything that happened. I was so mad at myself for being so blind and not seeing that he was sad and in pain. I just hugged him tightly and sobbed into his shoulder.

And instead of shoving me away or acting awkward, he comforted me. I should have been comforting him, but he comforted me instead. "It's okay, Chuuya. It was never your fault. You can cry as much as you want." He said in a calming and comforting tone.

Through my own tears, I could see Dazai signaling Akutagawa out of the room. I guess Dazai could tell that Akutagawa should be in another room to give me some space. After a few minutes of sobbing into Dazai's shoulder, I started to calm down. I was still crying, but not as much as I originally was.

He looked down at me and smiled. "Are you feeling any better?" He asked. His tone was sweet and understanding. And it was quite calming. I just nodded yes. Crying always makes me not want to talk. He smiled when I nodded, knowing that I was feeling better than before.

"So will you forgive me? I swear that I'm so sorry." He said in a sadder tone. I finally built up the motivation to speak. "Of course. Apology accepted." I stated with a smile. He smiled back at me, clearly happy that I accepted his apology. "Now, do you think you're ready to catch Fyodor?" He asked. I nodded again. "Great. Because I think I have a plan."

704 words! Sorry it's a short chapter! I am technically posting this after 12:00 am and I was in a rush to finish it, so I'm a bit behind but I got it posted!! And sadly we are getting close to the end of the fanfic (very sad 😭😭). But anyways, thanks for reading!!