Would've Been Me (Forgone Trilogy: Part 1)

Chapter 2

Sometimes, I feel like I'm not getting any wiser. Contrary to the belief that as you get older, you get wiser — I feel like I was not moving forward like I was supposed to do.

Is this the fruit of my entrance to adulthood?

Pakiramdam ko, ibang iba ang nararamdaman ko sa paglipas ng araw kumpara sa nakikita ng iba. My mother said that I was acting maturely at my age, and Peter said that I was being responsible more than I should. Pero kahit ganoon, pakiramdam ko, walang improvement sa sarili ko. That what I had and what I was doing were not enough..

Maybe that's the reason why I was always hungry for more, craving for a big space where I could freely breathe and grow... that sometimes, I feel like I was only trying hard. Just trying hard.

Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa salamin ng kotse. Hinayaan kong maglandas iyon habang nanahimik pa si Maven. Those thoughts just so happened to have cross my mind. Sumagi rin ito kanina sa isip ko habang nasa klase nang makakuha nang mababang marka sa unang quiz namin. I reviewed. I know I reviewed for that course. I was already familiar with the topic so I thought absorbing the lessons would just be easy for me. But still...

These emotions almost overwhelmed my entire mind earlier.

Nalimutan ko lang dahil kay Aunt May. Sandali lang nabura dahil kay Paulo.

"Nanahimik ka diyan?" ani Maven saka sinulyapan ako.

"Don't mind me," masungit kong sambit.

"Iniisip mo ba 'yung tungkol kanina?"

Kunot noo ko siyang tiningnan. Of course, I wasn't. I only sneered at him, medyo tinatamad nang makipag usap.

"Yuck, 'wag na no'n! Si Aunt May lang naman 'yon," aniya saka ngumisi.

Hindi ko na siya pinansin pa hanggang sa makarating na kami sa Eastline — one of condominiums that the dela Torres own.

Its exterior was always astounding for me. Its gigantic and imposing style somehow intimidate me. Nevertheless, the almost golden lights emphasized the comfortable luxury that it holds. Tila inaakit ako noong pumasok sa loob.

"Good evening, Ma'am Nadia and Sir Maven..." nginitian kami ng receiving clerk.

Nginitian agad siya ni Maven. Nakita ko naman ang pagpula ng pisngi nito nang mag-eye to eye sila ni Maven. Bakit ba gwapong-gwapo sila kay Maven. He was just smiling, clad in his white polo and brown slacks. And according to them he's a notorious playboy. Kaya di ko gets.

"Here to visit someone." Maven glanced at me, and raised a brow.

"Sure po, what unit, Ma'am?" tanong sa akin nito.

Sinabi ko ang unit. Agad naman kaming giniya nito sa unit ni Paulo.

"Okay, you can now leave us. Kami na ang bahalang mag- doorbell," ani Maven sa gumiya sa amin. "Thank you."

Ngumuso ako. Hindi na rin naman yata magiging awkward kung magkikita sina Maven at Paulo, di ba? Nung junior high school lang naman sila best friends. It was a long time ago, at hindi naman yata malala ang pinag awayan nila para magkaroon pa sila ng matinding pagkamuhi sa isa't isa hanggang ngayon.

"Ikaw na mag-doorbell." Maarte niyang minuwestra ang pindutan at siniko ako.

I clicked the doorbell. Agad namang bumukas ang pinto na ikinagulat ko. It was as if nakabantay na ang kung sino sa likod ng pintuan.

Paulo's eyes immediately landed on mine. Kita ko ang mumunting gulat sa mga mata niya. Saglit na namutawi ang katahimikan sa aming tatlo.

"Good evening," he greeted.