Come Inside of my Heart ▶️

[15] i'm just insecure

"I thought we're going to Shakey's," pabulong na sabi ni Liam pagkatapos ko siyang dalhin sa paresan dito sa may Makati Avenue. Sikat ang paresan na ito dahil malasa 'yung sabaw tapos meron ding unli rice for only 99 pesos.

Napatingin ako kay Liam. He's scratching the back of his ears at napansin kong he's hesitating to join me.

"Can we eat somewhere else?" Sabi pa nya.

Ang arte naman.

"Kuya, dalawang pares, unli rice. Palagyan na rin ng egg, salamat po." Sabi ko kay kuyang nagtitinda at umupo na ako sa upuan.

Sinenyasan ko si Liam na umupo na sa tabi ko at kinuha ko na rin yung paminta, chicharon, chili oil at patis sa kabilang table para magamit namin.

Napansin ko na nagdadalawang isip na umupo si Liam. I looked directly in his eyes then I gave him a reassuring look.

"Walang mawawala kung it-try mo, unless allergic ka sa sabaw at karne ng baka." I told him.

Hindi sya nagsalita. He took a step forward hanggang sya maupo na rin sya ng tuluyan sa tabi ko.

"You'll like it, I promise. At pag nagustuhan mo, required kang magkuwento sa akin kung bakit mo ako hinalikan sa Greenbelt nung Sunday." I told him.

Bahagya syang natigilan at saka nya ako unti-unting nilingon.

"K-kaya mo ba ako inaya rito para pagpaliwanagin ako?" He asked.

"Oh, bakit parang na-tense ka bigla? Baka nakakalimutan mong ikaw si Liam, the cool and aesthetic guy ng kumpanya." I said jokingly.

"Edi wow," Sabi lang nya, seryosong tono.

I chuckled.

"Actually, 50% no and 50% yes. 50% no kasi nagugutom na ako at gusto talaga kitang ayain maglunch dahil mukhang loner ka kanina, I don't know what's going on with you and your friends. 50% yes kasi basically yes, I need an explanation kung bakit mo ginawa 'yun. Alam kong merong reason, hindi pwedeng wala." Sabi ko sa kanya.

Hindi sya kaagad umimik. Kinalikot lang nya ang kuko nya at tumingin sya sa malayo.

"I had to fix your LOE. I sent it to sir Jacob dahil meron kang grammar lapses. Hindi ako loner. And there's nothing going on with me and my friends. I'm just doing my job. Baka nakakalimutan mong I'm your TL and big deal na na pumayag akong samahan ka rito kahit labag sa kalooban ko." Sabi nya.

This time, ako naman ang hindi nakaimik kaagad at parang biglang may bumara sa lalamunan ko.

Actually, hindi ko rin alam kung saan ko kinuha 'yung courage ko na ayain syang maglunch dito sa labas at talagang dito ko pa sya dinala sa paresan. I don't know what went through my mind earlier. Siguro kasi hindi ako pinapansin ni Creed and sa halip na mabother, kinailangan kong matuon ang atensyon ko sa ibang tao.

No choice lang ako that time but to ask our TL Liam because he's the only one left in the room.

Naalala ko tuloy 'yung nasabi ko sa kanya kahapon.

"Yeah maybe that kasi I myself is waiting for an explanation, for someone's explanation, correction -- for your explanation kung bakit mo ginawa 'yun pero wala kang ibang ginawa kundi iignore ako kanina sa meeting and you just told me to write an apology letter instead of asking me first what could've been wrong. "

Napapikit ako sa kahihiyan. Did I just tell him that yesterday?

"How about you come inside of my heart and see how I felt seeing you cry earlier?" Sabi nya.

"I'm sorry that I'm wrong but I'm more sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry for not apologizing about yesterday. I'm sorry for accusing you of lying. And I --", he paused for a moment, "I was upset when I saw you crying earlier. It's even more upsetting knowing it's my fault."