Second Chances

Stay with me

As we stand in the kitchen, I watch her placing the bowl in the microwave. I feel like a child, waiting as their mother makes them food. Part of me wants to just go in there and do it myself but I can't deny the way I've longed to be cared for like this. Sure, it may be a simple gesture but the fact that she does it without a second thought makes my heart beat faster in my chest.

I'm scared from my daydream by a sharp sound and I gasp loudly which makes her turn to me. "Hey, it's just the house sounds. No need to be scared" she smiles widely, her eyebrows raised funnily. As if by magic, my muscles instantly relax upon her command and I eye her curiously. What is it about this woman? I'm defenseless to her every charm, wanting to fulfill her every desire.

She just smiles softly and turns around to watch the food as it reheats. I can't help but let my gaze trail her form as I sit at the island with my head in my hands. I focus a little longer on the swell of her ass, taking extra time to admire her long legs. She stands barefoot in my kitchen, her toes wiggling a bit against the cold tile as she hums to herself.

I begin to wonder how Billie would feel about this. It's not really cheating... is it? It's been a long time but for some reason I still feel like it's wrong. I never thought I had the capacity to love another person like I loved Billie. She places the bowl of soup in front of me with a little smile on her face that I reciprocate.

"I'll go check on Felix, ok? You just eat as much as you can" her hand brushes my shoulder as she passes and I sigh contently. I can't describe how assured I feel in her presence. I haven't felt such safety and peace since that day. I feel like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. No matter how much I try to tell myself she's just a kind person, my brain always has a rebuttal.

The main one being that we haven't even known each other that long. I suppose that's why it means even more to me that she's doing all this; showing such tenderness to a stranger. I've eaten all I can and she comes back to see I've pushed the bowl away. "All done?" I nod slowly and she takes the dish, putting it in the sink and grabbing a pot off the stove to wash.

"You made that?" I ask surprised, "yes" she chuckles softly in amusement. I feel really bad for not eating it all now, especially because she really made an effort. "Don't worry about it. I told you to eat what you could, I'm just glad you ate at all" she says before I can get the words out and I sink back into the chair in defeat.

She always seems to know exactly what I'm thinking and I don't know if that terrifies me or gives me butterflies. She finishes with the dishes and asks me if I'd like to sit on the couch and I agree. "He's still soundly sleeping" she tells me, "gosh did you give him a tranquilizer?" I tease and she chuckles while shaking her head.

We sit and talk for a while, telling each other various stories, each ending seemingly ricocheting to another beginning. I place my hand on my stomach discreetly as I feel cramps, not wanting her to be worried. However, it progressively gets worse until I feel it violently twist and my eyes widen slightly.

"Felicity... are you ok?" She asks softly and I nod my head slowly, trying to hold it in. "No you're not. What's wrong?" I don't get a chance to answer as I feel that my belly won't wait much longer. I get up, hastily making my way to the closest bathroom and practically throwing myself to my knees in front of the toilet.

I empty the contents of my stomach, turning away at both the sight and smell. I see her out the corner of my eye and I groan, "go. This won't be pretty" I tell her. "I'm not leaving you" she mumbles just as I feel a hand on my back making small circles and another pulling my hair back. "That's it. You're ok" she whispers and I shake my head as I feel another wave coming on. "Let it out, you'll feel so much better" she urges me on but I still try to hold it in.

"I'm here" I feel her breath ghost my ear, cooling me due to the light layer of sweat that's accumulated. The next wave washes over me and I hold my hands out to rest on the back of the toilet. I feel so dirty my face is literally hanging over a shit bowl. "Shhh that's it, good girl" my eyes widen and I feel myself clench around nothing as those words leave her lips.

I know my breath hitches but between the panting I hope she can't tell. She eases me back and in between her legs and I try to distract myself with anything to take my mind away from it. The first thing that comes to mind is the internal war I just fought. I know I get nauseous when I'm sick but I never throw up, I refuse.

"What did you put in the soup?" I ask softly, "ummm well there was chicken and carrots... celery..." she thinks aloud and I shake my head. "Did you make the chicken on the stovetop?" I ask, "yeah..." she answers and I can hear the confusion in her voice. "What oil did you cook it with?" I ask, "sesame oil" she states and I sigh softly.

"I'm allergic" I tell her, that's definitely what caused my stomach to quite literally attack me; with the already present nausea I guess it was just too much to bear. "I'm so sorry. I-I should've asked I just-" "it's ok" I sigh tiredly as my muscles relax at the warmth radiating from her. "No, Felicity, really. I'm sorry, I should go" she starts to move but I grip her wrist firmly to stop her.

"Stay with me. I don't want you to leave" I whisper shakily, the after effects of emesis hitting me. It's the main reason I hate doing it, of course there's the pain, but it's the vulnerability of it. I'm not in control of it at all and I feel so weak after. "Oh, sweetie..." she sighs as my grip tightens on her. She pulls me up into her arms and carries me bridal style to the bed.

"I'm going to change your clothes, is that ok?" I just nod absently as I close my eyes. She comes back and I crack my eyes open to see she has a tank top and shorts. "Can I...?" her voice is soft, as her fingers tug at the hem of my shirt. I sit up and pull it off myself locking eyes with her after. She keeps her eyes on mine, sliding the shirt over my head.

I lift my hips so she can take off my sweatpants and I catch the way her gaze trails my legs. She slides the shorts up my legs and as they get closer to the top I see how she glances away. I slowly lift my hips and she drags them up, her knuckles brushing against my hips causing me to shiver.

"Are you cold?" I nod but we both know I'm not that cold. "Do you want me to stay or...?" She asks nervously and I nod again as I look into her eyes pleadingly. She slides in next to me and I take the initiative to move closer, laying my head on her chest. Her arms wrap around me and her presence overwhelms my senses.

Any negative thoughts I had fade away with each brush of her hand on my lower back. It's silent for a while and I just stare aimlessly at the wall. "I'm not leaving until you get better" she says it like she's decided that just now. "You can't do that—you have work and-" "what good is PTO if I don't use it, hm? Besides, it's either I stay here or you and Felix come to my house" she states firmly and it doesn't take more than that.

"I can't leave until I know you're ok" she whispers and I raise my head to meet her eyes. I feel such a strong gravitational pull towards her. As I open my mouth to speak, I hear cries from the other room causing me to sigh. I go to get up but she places a hand on my chest, pushing me back down.  "I got it. Rest, I know you're tired" she says before promptly leaving.

I close my eyes and let my head fall back to the bed in frustration. It's like she's the sun and I'm just orbiting around her, trying to get closer but never quite reaching. I know I'm not imagining things, she wants me just as much as I want her. My eyes begin to feel heavy again and I shift to get comfortable. I succumb to sleep with only one thought: her.