Second Chances

First date

I found myself in shambles this morning, my first thoughts being of Mildred. I know it's just a casual dinner but I'm still overly nervous for it. As I made breakfast for Felix and I, things just kept dropping. At the rate I was going there would be no dishes left in my house, so I stopped and settled for cereal.

I made sure to clean up everything and I zoned out for a minute until someone's little mutterings broke me free. I apologized and took him out the restrictive chair, placing him on the floor to crawl around. I sigh and take a seat where I can still see him as I try to remain calm. There's no reason for me to be so worried about this, right?

I mean it's just a little dinner, well... maybe for her it is. I'm so afraid that I won't make a good impression. I know we've met before but one of them was professionally and the other, Felix was bawling his eyes out—not exactly the best examples. My phone buzzes and I glance at the little boy watching tv before picking it up.

I just wanted to check and see if everything was good for tonight?

Oh it's her... does she not want to go anymore? What am I thinking? She would just tell me if that was the case. I seriously need to calm down.

Yeah, absolutely

Are you sure?

Why is she asking if I'm sure? Yes, I'm sure. That's what I said isn't it? Maybe she's trying to get me to say no so she doesn't have to feel bad for not wanting to go. Why do I have make things so complicated? My phone rings and I see her name pop up which causes my heart to beat a little faster.

You were taking a while to respond... are you ok?

Yeah I'm-I'm fine. How are you?

I'm ok but... I'd be better if you told the truth

I am...?

Felicity... I know you're lying. What's the matter?

I don't know. I'm just... nervous

About what?

So many things

I chuckle softly as I look over to see Felix glued to tv. A pout forming on my face as I finally see what it means to be a mother. It includes making the hard decisions, even if it forfeits your own happiness. Those times are only temporary however, because any decision I make for Felix and I always turns out just fine. If anything, it's me who holds my life back... not him.

You don't need to be nervous with me...

I hear her words and smile to myself, she's so cute for trying to reassure me.

It's not really you. I just haven't been out in a while

Well that's ok. Just wear whatever makes you comfortable—it's nothing fancy... and make sure the little man looks good too.

I hear her chuckle and I do the same, her words actually easing me. She checks again to see if I feel better and I assure her I'm fine. Once we get off, I feel a lot better about the whole thing. I'm nowhere near as nervous and I'm actually even more excited to see her than I was before.

at the restaurant

It took me a while to get Felix ready, I thought he would give me trouble all night which made me anxious. However, once we were in the car, he was completely fine. Part of me likes to think his jitters were due to his excitement as well. I of course told him we were going to dinner and all that; he may not be able to talk but he seemed happy to me.