Close

Closer

"Why don't you go out and try to make some friends?" my mom suggests as she bumps my legs off the back of the couch.

"Why would I subject myself to that before school's even started?" I sass, and my mom rolls her eyes.

"Because Jo, books aren't friends, and you can't spend your summer on the couch."

"Well, I'll eventually finish these last few chapters, and then I'll help unpack."

"Josephine, if you do not get out of this house and at least try to be social, I'll go absolutely mad," she snatches the book out of my hand, and I gasp.

"Mom! Haven't I given up enough?" I watch as my mom deflates, and she hands back my book.

"Jo, I'm sorry. It's just that this is a new chance for us, and I don't want to see you keeping yourself locked away. Your dad and–" I stand up abruptly and grab my bag.

"Dad's not here anymore. It's fine. I'll be back later," I quickly rushed out, not knowing where I was going.

I spend time following the cliffs that line the beach until I find a small path leading down to a cluster of rocks. There's a large one I can sit on high enough that the water doesn't splash up to me but surrounded by enough smaller rocks and foliage that I feel safe and no one else can see me.

I spend hours reading, and by the time I get home, Mom's already passed out on the couch. I can tell she's cried, but I can't keep discussing this.

Dad's gone, he left us, and there's nothing either of us can do to bring him back...

♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨_____________

"How was your day today? Did you happen to meet anyone this time?" Mom asks hopefully as I step into the house.

I don't have the heart to tell her I have spent the last three weeks avoiding people and her in my little hidey spot, so I grit my teeth and force a fake smile.

"Yeah, I met some kids over by the high school, and we went to the arcade," I lie easily and watch as relief washes over her and her shoulders visibly relax.

"That's great, Jo! At least you will start high school with some new friends."

"Yeah, it will be nice," I say, keeping the charade up.

"You should invite them over for dinner on Friday," she suggests just as I go to make my way upstairs, and I freeze.

Fuck what do I do?

"I'll ask them," I say and run up the stairs, taking two at a time.

I throw myself on my bed; my chest feels heavy as I contemplate what to do for dinner on Friday. I could tell her they couldn't make it, but I doubt Mom would buy it. I could ask her to reschedule for another day, but that would only work for so long, considering I don't actually have any friends to bring over.

A tear slides down the side of my face, and I leave it be as I wallow in my sorrow.

I miss home, my friends...I miss Dad.

I slowly pull myself up and pull out the tiny box I hid under my bed. Carefully opening the lid, I unravel the scarf that protects my treasure. My tears are freely flowing as I caress the janky popsicle stick frame. It's my favorite picture of me and Dad.

I'm six, and my hair is a hot mess because it was Dad's day to get me ready for school; he had tried to put it into two pigtails that he just couldn't get to be even. He had let me pick out my clothes that day, which just happened to be one of my princess dresses, a jean jacket, and some glittery boots that I adored. I remember asking him if I looked like a princess, and he shook his head, saying no, causing me to pout.