Hidden Burdens (working title)

Chapter Forty-One

Once they were outside, Mr. O'Reilly made sure the metal, heavy door didn't slam shut before kneeling to her level.

"Everything okay? Was that overwhelming for you to raise your hand like that?"

Kimmy looked up at once. Was this guy a mind reader? It wasn't often when an adult got something right she felt. She forced herself to nod.

He gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sure that was hard to do. I am proud of you for trying, though."

Her teacher now had Kimmy's full attention. He was proud of her?

"And you should be proud of yourself, too." Mr. O'Reilly pointed at her.

Something about that last statement made a rush of emotions flood her eyes. She quickly tried to wipe them dry.

Mr. O'Reilly continued. "You're doing great, Kimmy, I promise. Everyone grows at their own pace. Life isn't a race. Okay?"

Kimmy held her gaze on him for as long as possible until she couldn't and focused on a pigeon that had landed nearby to peck at the ground where there wasn't grass. It wasn't like she purposely tried to ignore Mr. O'Reilly. It was easier to look away than continuing to look at him.

Mr. O'Reilly didn't seem to take any offense. He stood up, suggesting they head inside before all the food was gone, letting Kimmy go first.

Ben came over, asking if everything was alright.

"Everything's fine," Mr. O'Reilly reassured. "I figured Kimmy could use some fresh air after taking that bold leap there." He playfully nudged the air near her without actually touching Kimmy. He then told her to go make her plate while the men talked.

Kimmy forced herself to move and made her way over to the "buffet table". It wasn't anything like the buffet at the restaurant the night before, but there was plenty to choose from.

The mom from before reminded Kimmy to wash her hands first before handing Kimmy a plate. There were mostly Halloween-themed treats like cupcakes and cookies. Someone had made those "pigs in a blanket" and there were vegetable trays with ranch dip, among other finger foods. Kimmy mostly took the hotdogs and the carrots from the vegetable tray, along with some ranch dip to take back to her seat. She at least took a chocolate cupcake.

When she got back to her seat, though, Kimmy noticed the party bag she had won was missing. Having sworn Kimmy had left it where Mr. O'Reilly had set it, she looked around the inside of her desk and inside her backpack, and even the floor around her desk in case it got knocked off or something. The bag was nowhere to be found.

Kimmy scanned the room as her classmates ate their lunch, chatting amongst themselves. Since she hadn't been paying that much attention to all who won, Kimmy didn't know who should have a bag or not. She then looked for Mr. O'Reilly, who was making his plate while chatting with the moms and Ben.

Up until this point, Kimmy hadn't really asked for help. Mr. O'Reilly usually checked in with her. But this time, he probably wouldn't know to do that. Why not? This was a free day to have fun and enjoy Halloween with their fellow classmates.

She thought about what Mr. O'Reilly had just told her outside. How he saw that she made progress just by attempting to raise her hand and that he was proud of her. Nobody had ever told her something like that before. Mr. O'Reilly always emphasized to them to ask for help if they needed it. That was for their schoolwork, though.

It wasn't often Kimmy won anything aside from the frog from Saturday and the party bag, and since she gave away the frog to Miguel, something about the reality of how she won something again, made her want it back. So, she pushed herself up from her seat and timidly made her way over, slowing her steps as Kimmy got close.

One of the moms noticed when Kimmy was a few feet away and asked if she needed anything, putting the spotlight of the adults on her.

Kimmy froze in her tracks.

The mom asked if she had come back for her drink before asking Mr. O'Reilly if she could hear or understand English.

It was Ben who moved closer and lowered his ear for her. "You want a drink, kiddo?" he asked, in a quiet voice but not quite a whisper. When she hadn't answered, he pointed out the options for her.

Kimmy shook her head at all of them and looked over at Mr. O'Reilly.

"Did you need something from Mr. O'Reilly?"

That time, Kimmy managed a timid nod.

Ben called Mr. O'Reilly over, letting him know Kimmy needed him.

Mr. O'Reilly set his plate down and came over to kneel in front of her once again. "Everything okay?"

Kimmy tried once more to look at him, but all she knew to do was look towards her desk. Of course, Mr. O'Reilly didn't understand and asked if she needed to use the restroom. She turned back to shake her head.

"Are you still overwhelmed? Do you need to step outside again?"

Her heart was racing once more as Kimmy sucked in her lip. No! Someone stole my prize! The words echoed in her mind but her mouth just would not let them escape. She kept looking back towards her desk, hoping Mr. O'Reilly would notice the party bag missing. But like everyone else, he just wasn't getting it.

The reality hit Mr. O'Reilly wasn't a mind reader. Duh!

Kimmy felt her face burn warm and tears rushed to the surface.

Ben stepped in to offer suggestions as well but wasn't hitting the mark either.

After a few minutes, Mr. O'Reilly stood up and suggested going back outside so there wasn't an audience. He made a detour at his desk to grab a notepad if Kimmy wanted to write it down, but Kimmy found herself frozen and unable to take the notepad from him.

Eventually, the emotions got too much. The tears spilled over and Kimmy silently broke down. Apparently, that was enough for Mr. O'Reilly to call Ben to take over.

"What's going on, kiddo?" Ben asked once Mr. O'Reilly returned inside the classroom."Is it what happened yesterday with your mom?"

The ground at their feet was a wavy blur. Her chest now felt like it was tightening and something in her stomach flipped that made her feel sick.

After a long moment of silence where no one said anything, Ben asked, "Do you think yesterday was your fault?"

That question caught her off guard as well. Now Ben gets it? When at the moment, all she cared about was the fact her prize was gone? Her face grew warmer as if dehydration had set in and she was experiencing a heat stroke. A tear drifted down her cheek.

"It wasn't your fault, kiddo," he reassured her. "Honest. You couldn't hear Wilma and your mom should have made sure in a more calmer way than resorting to yelling and punishments."

Kimmy squeezed her eyes tight, now feeling the world swirl around her as if Sonic the Hedgehog ran circles around her. Her heart raced against her tightened chest where she found it difficult to breathe.

Ben tried getting her attention. "Take a deep breath, kiddo." He demonstrated for her, pointing out it was something Kayla had taught him to do back while they were dating.

Kimmy refused at first, but he explained taking deep breaths would help get oxygen to her brain and help her relax. She took slow deep breaths like Ben showed her, trying to match what he was doing.

When she opened her eyes, Ben got her attention.

"You okay now, kiddo?"

Kimmy stared at him.

The tears had dried on her face, but Kimmy still felt the trails they made. Her heart rate had slowed down to just a slow pace. It still wasn't where it should be but it was better than it was.

Ben gave her a concerned look. "You wanna call it a day?"

Kimmy watched him for a moment, remembering when Claudia had mentioned Ben allowed stuff like that if needed. She nodded after a while.

Ben offered to grab her stuff for her so Kimmy wouldn't have to go back in there, including her plate of food.

Unfortunately, the party bag was not included.