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The couple had spent the next few weeks processing the news of becoming parents for the first time. Neither really had plans to become parents any time soon. Ryan had wanted to further his career and travel the world before even thinking about children. Sera was the same, she wanted to travel the world and teach in other places before becoming an incubator for a little human being. However, she was glad it was Ryan she was starting a family with and was becoming the father of her child. They had started working on the nursery and made a list of things that they needed to buy for the baby but there was still the matter of telling those around them, their friends and family.
"What do you mean?"
In the time she had taken off from work, Matt Cruz, the FBI Director had come to see her regarding the investigation that Reid was currently under. When the investigation had begun, he had taken her statement regarding everything that had happened with Reid and what he had put her through, while reassuring her that he would do everything he could to make sure it didn't effect her too much. However, she had no idea what to think when he had presented her with his findings.
"He has been taking Dilaudid again. You know how drugs can affect the mind. He obviously thought he had control but the last couple of months to a year, he's been losing control and it has been effecting every part of his life. His personal and professional lives have both been affected and because he didn't know how to deal with it, he wanted someone to blame. Unfortunately that person ended up being you. I'm not excusing his behaviour nor am I blaming you. We are getting him the help he needs and until you feel safe, the restraining order is in effect and he's suspended." Matt spoke as he went over the information in front of him.
Sera took a minute to process the news. She remembered what he was like the first time he had become addicted to Dilaudid, she couldn't believe she didn't see the signs. It had been a wonder that he had been able to beat it the first time, lord knew how he would be able to do it this time. She was glad he was getting the help that he needed, she hated that a small part of her still cared about him but at some point he was her friend. But she would never forgive him for the way he had traumatised her in the last few months.
"Did anyone else know?" She questioned after a moment of silence.
Matt sighed as he closed the file in front of him, "Apparently Miss Jareau knew. His girlfriend also knew but she had left his apartment months ago and refused to get involved. When it was brought to the attention of Agent Hotchner, he informed me immediately and we took action. He knew he had failed as team leader before, he wasn't going to again and he's stepped down for the time being. Is there anything else you would like us to do moving forward?"
"I want to see him."
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"Why did you want to meet me?"
She couldn't explain it but she knew she needed to see Reid for closure. She was starting a new chapter in her life and the last thing she wanted was to continue to bring that baggage around with her. She was going to have a child and she wanted to make sure she was being the best mother to her child, not worrying about the people that hurt her. Reid was a part of her life once and she wanted to close that door once and for all.
Sera looked at him closely as he sat in front of her. He had been admitted into a rehab centre to support him with his addiction and get him the help he needed. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks and his clothes were practically hanging off of him. She didn't know what to make of it all but she felt indifferent. No part of her cared for what he was going through or what he looked like, she actually felt sorry for him.
"I guess I just wanted to see for myself what happened to you." She spoke as she fiddled with her hands in front of her. She had so much to say but wasn't sure what. What could she possibly say that would make him understand how much he had hurt her? He was supposed to be her friend and he turned his back on her when she needed him the most. At some point she really thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with him, now she couldn't imagine her life without Ryan. Everything happens for a reason.
Spencer scoffed, "Are you here to rub it in face that I'm here? My life is falling apart. I can't see my friends, Maeve wants nothing to do with me and I might lose my job. You're the last person I want to see."
Sera looked at him with a sad smile as she shook her head, "You know, for a long time I blamed myself for everything you put me through. It took such a long time for me to understand that people respond to trauma differently and move forward differently. While I took the time to heal and go through the emotions, you acted like nothing happened and it has finally caught up to you. You can blame me all you want but soon, you will go through all of the emotions you have been refusing to go through and it will hit you hard. You have no one but yourself to blame for where you have ended up and I hope that you learn your lesson. You're a coward, Reid but I pray that no one gets hurt by you again."
"I'm not a coward. I don't deserve this."
"When you close your eyes at night, I want you to remember that you did this. No one else. You did this to yourself and you have no one else to blame."
