❤ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 ❤

🄷🄴🄰🅁🅃🄱🄴🄰🅃

I'm not wanting pity from anyone. All I want is to be understood.

But of course, when you don't have anyone there for you, it's hard... it's too bad.

Even if I did have someone, without listening, you can't understand anything. I would be basically talking to a wall, to myself, again.

I would always be that person; listening to everyone, understanding them, giving helpful advice, drying the tears, and giving out those warm hugs. But what do I receive in return?

Nothing.

.

.

.

I block these traumatic memories and dark thoughts, hiding them once again in a far corner of my mind. I sigh, a bit too loudly, looking down at my barely-alive-looking, muddied sneakers.

Stopping in my tracks, I stand in the middle of the streets unable to move further on.
My legs are tired, my arms are tired, my eyes are tired, my head is tired... I am tired.

The crowded streets are still busy, like bees in a beehive buzzing around. My knees are about to give up and I'm not sure if I am ready to sleep in a dark and lonely alley again. I'm not sure if I have the courage, the strength, and the will left inside me to do so.

But.. do I have a choice?

I scan around me, sweeping my eyes left and right, and quickly found an alleyway close by, which, fortunately didn't have anyone. I attempt to jog a bit to get there faster, but gave up as soon as pain shot through my feet like an electric shock.

I arrive right after, and started to rummage through the garbage cans. Through all the wasted food and whatever you would find in a kitchen bin, I find a large cardboard box and some newspapers. It doesn't seem like a lot, but to me, it is everything.

I rip the cardboard flat and lay it down on the ground, which still had a layer of untouched snow. I then lay down on the 'bed' I've just created and with the newspapers, I make a thin but durable 'blanket', at least hopefully, it would be durable for the night.

I try falling asleep, but my body keeps on twisting and turning around, uncomfortable in whichever position I am in. This was normal for me though; sleeping on the cold, hard, filthy floor, outside with the snowflakes as my friends, but they too, would disappear as well.. just like my parents.

I close my eyes, trying to force my brain's system to shut down, but in vain, I was still wide awake and completely aware of my surroundings. But then.. I hear this melodious strumming, a beautiful deep voice singing, accompanying the acoustic guitar perfectly. I instinctively got up and was on my feet once again.

Curiosity got the better of me and I found myself getting closer to the place where I could hear the music coming from. Once the area was in view, I notice that it was a dark bar, full of people, with purple LEDs as its only source of light, bringing that party ambiance.

I hesitantly open the glass door, immediately feeling the warm air of the room enveloping my body. I shiver for a couple of seconds as if something had shot through my spine, while the hair on my arms and legs stood up because of the change of temperature. I caught a glimpse of something on the wall beside me.

It was a mirror.

Time stopped as if we were all in slow-mo— I look at myself.

My black hair is a mess, many knots are visible everywhere, but I literally don't care. I stare deeply into my own chocolate-brown eyes for a good moment– I notice how they lost their shininess, but I knew that if I looked close enough, I could see the lost, scattered stars of my dark and broken galaxy.

The tip of my nose and my cheeks were crimson because of the harsh, freezing wind outside. My small rose, heart-shaped lips had several cracks, and were tinted red because of dried blood, and some spots were even still a bit bleeding.

I snap back into reality when the door behind me open once again with the jingle of the bells situated above it, three more people came in. They side-eye me then walk away laughing with each other, finding some other friends sitting at a table on the side of the bar.

I take a seat in the far corner to not be seen by the staff members, or, any body in fact. I keep my eyes on the male on stage, I was mesmerised by the words coming out of his mouth, not only because of the lyrics, but mostly the way he sang.

His voice is deep, not as deep as an unknown body of water or an unexplored forest... but more like the resonance of a distant thunderstorm, rumbling through the vast expanse of the night, leaving an echo long after the sound had faded into the silence.

I continue staring, analysing his expensive-looking clothes;

He wore a sleek, black, satin shirt, its silky look creating a touch of class. His black ripped jeans goes extremely well with his faux-leather shoes, which had a glow, adding an extra bit of charm. His ebony coloured hair is styled in a flowy haircut, making the strands look like natural waves you could find while taking a stride on a beach.

I close my eyes, relaxing my tense posture, letting the music flood all my senses as the rhythm of the drum matched my heartbeat. I feel my soul levitating, and a small smile rose on my lips for the first time in years. The song ended way too fast to my liking and I unconsciously frown. That burning sensation I felt inside me a while ago was now gone, and I am empty once again.

I want more.

People cheered, whistled and chanted "Again! Again!" for the singer on stage, who got up from the wooden stool and bowed, thanking everyone in the room.

He sits back down again and continued singing songs for who knows how long. But, I can't complain, I enjoyed every single moment; clapping, cheering, singing along or humming at least, with the singer and everybody else.

Thanks to the live lullaby, my mind became hazy, while my head became heavy as exhaustion washed over me. I finally fell asleep under a roof and in the cosiness of warmth— cocooning me like a blanket.

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I hope you're not too bored... (｡•́︿•̀｡)