We arrived the next morning at the hospital and I looked for Derek's doctor.
"Doctor Mcdougall? Is Derek awake?" I asked. "Yes" he nodded, "he asked for you, you're Meredith right?"
I nodded, "He asked for me?"
"Well.. he wrote it down" the doctor said simply. "So, I think it's the best thing for him that you see him first."
"Okay.." I talked to Derek's family about it and they agreed with me going first.
-
"Derek?" I whispered as I sat down beside him. I assumed he was asleep, but the sound of my voice woke him up. His eyes opened and he looked around, seeing it was me, a light smile appeared on his mouth.
"You have no idea how happy I am that I see you" I said softly as I sat down on his bed, reaching out my hand.
He grabbed my hand and I held his tightly. "Derek... why.." I asked, tears filling my eyes. He was laying shirtless in his bed, his chest and stomach full with cuts and scars.
It was heartbreaking.
His wrists were wrapped in bandages. I shook my head and kissed his forehead. "Derek, why didn't you text me? I could've helped you"
He nodded slightly and I crawled under the blanket with him, wrapping my arm around his waist. He was shirtless, only in pj shorts.
I kissed a cut on his chest and rested my head on his shoulder, "I'm your friend, I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere I promise"
I felt him nod against my head and I sighed sadly. "Everything will be okay. You'll be okay"
He lifted his arm and wrapped it around my shoulder, holding me closer to him, "I was the one who found you.." I whispered and felt his heart skip a beat.
"It's okay, I'm glad I did."
He sighed
I sat up on the bed and held his hand again, "Listen Derek I know that you want to die. I know that you don't see the point in living. I've been there, so I know what it feels like. You're clinical depressed and you don't want help. You take anti-depressants and sleeping pills to kill the voices in your head. I know you feel like you don't belong, and as if you're worthless. But let me tell you something, you're not. You're not. You are wonderful, you're a handsome guy, despite all the ugly cuts and scars and burns on your gorgeous body. I adore you in every way possible. You're funny, you're cute, you're smart, you're handsome you're everything someone could ever wish for. I know you probably think that everyone would be better off without you, that no one would miss you. But let me tell you that you are a 100% wrong. I saw your mother, she was a wreck, she was completely ruined and your sisters... Amelia was crying in my arms at 4 am. Derek you can't just leave everything behind. We need you, I need you. I know you don't see the point in trying, or in living but you have to keep going, you have to keep trying because so many people love you & so many people care about you. I love you & I care about you. You'll be okay, I promise"
I lied back next to him and tears fell on my forehead, Derek's tears.
I kissed his light stubby chin and hugged him tighter, "You're my savior, Derek. I've never met a guy like you."
"I've never told you, but I got bullied in my school before this school." I said, "They would tease me, push me against lockers, hit me, steal my money, break my bike and pee in my drink. Since I couldn't tell me parents, because my mother is this kick ass surgeon, and my father left us when I was only four, i told my mother I wanted to change schools because the education system would be better here." i explained everything and it brought tears to my eyes.
Derek kissed my forehead and we cuddled in his bed, "You changed me" I whispered in his cold chest.
"You're my best friend, you don't get to leave me alone in this cruel world. And ofcourse, I can live without you, but I don't want to. I don't ever want to. You make me happy, you make me smile, you light up my world, don't erase yourself from me. I wouldn't be okay without you." I said hugging him once again tighter.
"I'm going to shut my mouth now and then let your mother and sister say hi" I said simply, pecking a kiss on his temple.
"Do you want to wear a shirt or are you fine with them seeing your stomach and your chest." He scrambled something down in his notebook,
shirt please
"Here, take this." I said handing him a shirt I brought, it was his The Clash shirt I wore earlier. He put it on and I noticed that he wrote something down again,
I love you too Meredith
