Some Strings Attached

Test Run

For the first time since meeting him, you find yourself picking apart every conversation, every hangout, every interaction with Neil looking for something different between the two of you. Things were the same as they'd always been, and yet everything was different. You were different. You could stop thinking about the idea he'd planted in your head.
It wasn't that you'd never had partners before, you dated and even had a few serious relationships in the past. But it had always been with betas, because your anxiety over a forced or unintentional claiming was so high you couldn't bring yourself to even try and date an alpha. Every time one asked you out, you turned them down. Insisting to yourself that you didn't need an alpha mate to be whole.
After suffering through another unsatisfactory heat, your mind made up itself, and you decided that it couldn't hurt to try and feel out if he'd been suggesting this 'fwb' thing because he wanted one with you or if he was just mentioning it because he was just trying to help you solve a problem.
Five and a half months after the conversation, you finally break down and give into the growing curiosity and head to Neil's house.

~*~*~*~

Nerves flutter low in your stomach as you stand outside of Neil's door, waiting for him to answer. A part of you is screaming to forget about it and leave, but before you can get your feet to move the door is opening and your brain stutters to a frozen stop. Judging by the basketball shorts, bare chest, damp hair, and fresh scent, Neil likely just got out of the shower when you knocked.
His dimples flash as he leans against the door frame, "Hey, Bee, what's up?"
You don't answer, too distracted by his shirtless state. Despite knowing how physically fit he was because of his line of work and despite the fact you'd seen him shirtless before, you hadn't realized just how easy on the eyes he is. Neil wasn't just physically fit. He was hot. And the very thought is making you tingle in a unfamiliar yet familiar way.
"Earth to Bumblebee." Fingers snap in front of your eyes, and you jerk in response, dragging your eyes up to his. He's still smiling at you good naturedly, unbothered by your momentary lapse.
"Can I.." you trail off, horrified at how high and squeaky your voice sounds. Flushing, you try again. "Could I come in?"
Looking a little bewildered, Neil nods and steps back, holding the door wider. "You know you're always welcome here, Bee."
It feels like your head is a little floaty as you step in and wait for him to close the door at your back. He gestures you towards the living room as he heads towards the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, "You want something to drink, I got some of that tea you love here."
"No, I'm fine," you answer as sit. Perched on the edge of his comfortable saggy couch, you twist the hem of your skirt nervously. Neil arrives less than a minute later, settling into his equally well-loved recliner and stretching his legs out in front of him. As his strong and warm saffron scent washes over you, you wonder how you never noticed just how pleasing and mouthwatering it was before.
"So, what's up? You seem stressed."
With a groan, you bury your face in your hands and ask yourself one final time if you really want to do this. At least he'd pulled a shirt on, hopefully that will help you concentrate better. Hands dropping, you stare at him, mouth opening and closing as you realize you have no idea how to start this conversation.
The good humor on Neil's face falls away, concern flickering into his eyes as he leans forward, "Seriously, Bee, is something wrong? Did something happen to your mother?"
"What?" you ask, confused by the question. "Oh. No, she's fine. At least she was when I talked to her last."
"That's good," he says seriously, "So..."
"Did you mean it," you blurt out.
"Did I mean what?" he asks, forehead wrinkling in confusion.
"About the...about the whole friends with benefits thing? That you'd want to do something like that?"
Relief fills his face as his posture relaxes, clearly glad you weren't here with bad news even if he still seemed confused. "Sure. I wouldn't be opposed to something like that."
"How would something like that even work?" you ask, trying and likely failing to keep your tone casual. Like you weren't here specifically because of this.
Neil shrugs. "I imagine it would require a whole conversation. Setting up boundaries and all that." His head tilts, lips tilting up in a half smirk. "Are you asking me if I want to be your friend with benefits?"
Flushing, you suddenly stand, rubbing your hands over your hips as you edge towards the front door. "You know what, this was a bad idea. I should probably go."
Before you can get past him, his hand shoots out and snags your wrist, bringing you up short. His face is serious again. "Hold on. Are you serious right now?"
"Serious about what?" you ask, voice a half octave higher than normal as your eyes widen in panic.
"Did you come over here to ask if I wanted to start some kind of friends with benefit thing with you?"
"I—" you swallow thickly, then clear your throat around the lump that appeared out of nowhere in your throat. "I don't know?
A half smile plays across his mouth, eyebrows climbing high. "You don't know if you came here to ask if I want to have sex with you?"
"Ye—no—I—I don't know," you stutter your ways through the words as your whole body heats with embarrassment.
"You don't know," Neil says with a thoughtful hum. He tugs on your arm until you come around to stand in front of him. Standing there, his knees brushing the sides of your legs, you feel hyper aware of him again. Not just the heat from his body, but the deepening and sharpening of his scent in your nose. His thumb begins to trace a small circle on your wrist, his other hand coming to rest on your thigh, right at the hem of your skirt. "Look at me."
It's not an alpha command, but there is just enough of an edge to it, that you feel unable to do anything but meet his eyes in that moment. They'd darkened a little, pupils widening to overtake the sparkling blue. His head tilts a second time. "Give me a straight answer. Do you want something like that? With me?"
The words break you out of the spell you seemed to be under, and you huff a little as you roll your eyes. "Jesus, Neil. I don't know. It's not like I've ever done anything even close to this kind of thing. I just know that the idea of going through another heat without something more than what I've been doing is extremely unappealing. And I just...can't go to a clinic. I just can't."
"Oh?" he asks, a glint you don't recognize in his eyes. "Is that how it is? Unappealing?"
"Um. Yes. That's how it is."
The hand resting lightly on your leg slides along to the back of your thigh. It's a move that has you shuffling closer between his legs, his head tipping back to keep eyes locked on yours. "Have you ever had sex before?"
"Yes. Just not—just never..."
"Never what?" Neil asks when you trail off, eyes never leaving your face. "Never been with an alpha before?"
You shake your head.
"So, you've never once felt a real knot filling you?"
Pulse quickening, lips parting slightly, you shake your head a second time. The air between the two of you grows heavy with anticipation as the fingers Neil has been stroking gently up and down the back of your thigh still and butterflies begin dancing wildly in your chest. There is a light pressure against your leg, and you respond to it without thinking, moving forward until your knees hit the edge of the recliner between his legs and you grip his shoulders for balance.
"If you've never taken a knot before, how do you know that's what you will want when you're in heat?"
Brain hazy, it takes you several beats to realize he's asked another question, and all you can manage to say is "Huh?"
The hand not currently teasing at the area where your leg meets the curve of your ass slides up your side, bringing you closer to his body as his pupils dilate further and his scent grows thick and musky. "If you've never felt that delicious fullness of a knot filing you, how do you know that it will be my knot that you will need."
Struggling to focus through the lust crowding your system, you shake your head for a third time. "I. I don't know."
Neil makes a tsking sound. "Well, that just won't do, will it?"
"It won't?"
"No. We'll just have to try it out first. See if it's what you'll truly need," his says, voice deeper and huskier than before. "You know. For science."
Before you can formulate a response, he lets out a low growl and pulls you firmly into his lap to straddle him. With a hand curling around the back of your neck, he guides your mouth to his. Excitement arrows through you, answering the question on if there even would be any sexual chemistry between the two of you.
It's the kind of kiss you've never experienced before; slow, deep, and all consuming in its intensity. With a needy whimper, you press yourself against him, arms winding around his neck automatically
Through the confines of his light fabric shorts, you can feel him growing hard and even as your tongues continue to dance, you find yourself rocking against him with slow languid rolls of your hips. Neil finally breaks the kiss, his breath as ragged as yours as you rest your forehead against yours.
With the fluid grace of the former acrobat he was, Neil stands with his arms catching under your legs. His dimples flash as you let out a surprised gasp and clamp your arms and legs tight around him. "Don't worry baby, I've got you."
It's a short trip to his bedroom, and as he sets you on your feet and you look around the mess of his room, you can't help but give him a bland look. He just gives you a cheeky grin and nods towards his bed. You let out a little sigh as you study it. It just wouldn't do. Following your instincts, you move over to it and begin to rearrange the pile of blankets and pillows on and around it a pleasing arrangement.
Neil's heat seeps into your back as he steps up behind you, hands sliding along your hips while he nuzzles at your neck. Scenting you and leaving his own scent behind in the process. Hands push your shirt up, and you lift your arms so he can pull it off. When you try to turn around to face him, he stops you, kissing and nibbling at your neck as he tugs on the zipper of your skirt.
When his teeth graze over your shoulder, you shudder in response, leaning back into him as his hands come around to cup and knead at your breasts, tugging lightly on your nipples. By this time, you're pretty sure the panties you'd been wearing would never recover from the amount of slick that has been pooling between your legs.
"You smell like heaven," Neil murmurs into your ear, tongue teasing at the shell of your ear. When his fingers dip between your legs, your head drops back to his shoulder with a moan. "And you're so wet."
His fingers drag along your walls, thumb rubbing firm circles over your clit until pleasure curled into a slowly tightening spring in your core. "Take them off."
There's no need to ask what he's talking about, and you quickly wiggle out of your panties and kick them away, reaching up to remove your bra and tossing that away too. You let out a low groan when his fingers hit just the right spot, just the right way as you lean back into him. One of his feet taps against yours, and after a moment you realize he wants you to spread your legs apart and you eagerly comply. It lets his fingers sink even deeper inside of you.
The pressure that had been building snaps, and your back arches as you throw an arm back to cling to his neck. His fingers don't stop moving, working you through the waves of pleasure crashing through you. When your legs buckle, Neil chuckles as he takes your weight. With agonizing slowness, he pulls his fingers from you.
Opening your eyes, you watch as he brings his slick soaked fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean. Seeing that and hearing his deep hum of satisfaction turns you on even more than you thought possible.
"You want more," Neil asks when his fingers are clean, nuzzling into your neck again. "Or do you just want to go home now."
You do something you've never done before. You whine, the sound high pitched and expressing all the want and need boiling inside of you better than any words you could come up with. An omega whine, much like an alpha growl, is a nonverbal signal to the other's more animal instincts. Neil is no more a match for the whine I let out than I had been when he growled to me earlier.
Turning me around, his fingers dive into my hair as he drags my mouth to his, crushing his lips to mine with a desperate frenzy. Without breaking the kiss, Neil backs you up and onto the bed, covering your body with his as your limbs tangle together. It's not until you both must come up for air that Neil braces himself above you, his thighs pushing yours apart so he can fit between them.
"Ready?" he asks, his eyes on your face.
You nod but tense the moment you feel the head of his cock nudging at your entrance. Instantly, Neil's mouth is back on yours, his hands exploring and teasing over your body until you relax once more, you're trying to grind yourself against him. This time, when you feel his cock pressing against you, pressing into you, you let out a breathy little moan as your arms wrap around his back and you press your face into his neck.
Neil lets out a groan, one arm snaking under your lower back to hold your hips when he is finally in as far as he can go and his movement still. "Fucking hell, baby."
"What—" you start to shift but freeze when he hisses sharply and his fingers dig into your hip. "What's wrong?"
"Just. Don't move for a moment," Neil says, his voice a little muffled like he's gritting his teeth. A puff of breath tickles your neck when he pushes it out. "Or else, I'll pop off like some kind of freshly presented virgin."
"Oh." When the full meaning of his comments hits you, your eyes widen in surprise and you can't help but giggle. "Oh!"
"Shut up. It's not funny."
"It's kinda funny," you insist, still giggling and trying to hold yourself as still as possible. And failing at it.
Neil's head lifts, and he stares down at you with narrowed eyes. "Oh? Is that so?"
You open your mouth to say yes, but all that comes out is a strangled moan as he pulls nearly all the way out and thrusts forward with a quick snap of his hips. He smirks before his head dips down so he can nip at the corner of your jaw. "Not so funny anymore, is it?"
"Maybe...just a little...bit," you pant out, breathless as he moves with long, deep thrusts. Your nails bite into the hard muscles of his back, your head tipping to the side to give him fuller access to your neck. Every time his teeth scrape across your skin, you shiver with an additional burst of pleasure. You never knew how good the feel of teeth would feel.
Then, with a sudden rush, one of Neil's thrusts hit in such a way it's like an explosion goes off inside of you. Back arching, toes curling, and your nails biting hard into his back, you come with a keening cry. Neil's growl is low and deep, vibrating through your chest even as his teeth sink into the meat of your shoulder.
Warmth floods through you as he comes, his knot swelling and locking into place. Satisfaction at the feeling of fullness makes you laugh with heady abandon. Without thinking, you move and then hiss at the sharp tugging pain.
"Ouch," you complain, "What the hell."
"Best not to move much right now," Neil says. "Disrupting a full knot could hurt us both."
"Right," you say. "Sorry."
"'s okay baby. You've never had a real knot before," Neil says with a little sigh, his face turning and nose brushing against your cheek.
"You're kinda crushing me," you say after a minute of fighting against the urge to move.
"Oh, here, let me..."
It takes some gentle jostling, and you wince a couple of times at that unfamiliar tugging feeling, but it isn't painful at least. Finally, Neil has you both settled into a more comfortable position, laying wrapped up together on your sides. Things are quiet for a time, the only sounds in the room steady breathing as Neil traces small patterns on your back.
There is something incredibly intimate and comforting about it, and you feel yourself being lulled into the twilight zone between sleep and wakefulness.
"So, what do you think?" Neil asks quietly out of the blue.
"Huh?"
"This," he says, then continues when you hesitate in answering. "Is this something you want to do again? Something you will want to do when you're in heat?"
His next words come out in a rush. "Because, you know, I'm definitely down for it."
"Really?" you ask, a little surprised at the eagerness in his voice. One of his fingers touch under your chin, and he tips your head up so you can see his face. "Yes, my adorable Bee, really."
Blinking, feeling a little shy, you nod slowly. "Okay. Yeah. I wanna try."
Neil lets out a kind of purring growl as his arm wraps tight around you as he encourages you to snuggle against his chest. Though the sound is something you haven't heard before, you know it indicates his contentment and it makes you smile. As your eyelids get heavy, you do your best not to give into the anxieties trying to sneak in and ruin your good mood. It wouldn't be weird if you didn't make it weird, you assure the worry just before you drop into sleep.