Colliding Paths

(6)Symptoms

"How're you feeling?" He asked, the one question I was hoping to avoid. My throat was raw from throwing up "M'fine," I croaked out. He smirked a little bit and I began moving the conversation to literally anything other than what's going on.

"How are your sisters?" I inquired "They're so energetic, where do they get it from! Definitely not from me or my mom. I don't understand, kids," He whined and then lowered his voice, shaking his head and sighing. The nausea was coming back slightly and I was still confused. 'The doctors said symptoms wouldn't start until maybe the third round,' I thought, acknowledging the fact that it differs from person to person.

"What do you think is going to happen?" I asked randomly. "What do you mean?" He responded looking into my eyes. "With this," I said not really sure what I meant. "I think that your going to be okay. It'll be hard but you have your family and Lizzy, and me. Just remember that when life throws things at you, dodge. And when life gives you lemons, throw them at someone," he finished sarcastically. Honestly that was pretty good advice, I just nodded. "Maybe, but I can't help just sitting here and thinking about everything that could go wrong. It's like a rabbit hole, I'm falling down farther and farther and no one can slow it down or bring me back up." He looked at me and nodded in understanding.

"When I first got diagnosed with POTS, I didn't leave my room. I felt like I couldn't do anything and I had no power to change that. My dad didn't want anything to do with me, my sisters were so young. My mom was the only one there, she's a nurse, she saw through everything, but at least she stayed. I get upset because she's at work all the time but he left and she's still here. I didn't go outside much, I was afraid to get up. It was a rabbit hole, never ending, falling in deeper. It might feel like that for a while but sooner or later you'll realize that if you sit around and wallow in self pity you'll miss out on more than you need to. You're going to miss out on things, but the things you can do, you should. Try not to lose track of the little things, even if the things you can do are or get limited, at least it's something. Breathe because you have air, dance because you can walk, scream because you can talk, live because your alive."

When he finished I was completely silent, speechless. A single tear slid down my cheek. He looked over at me, watery eyes, reached up and wiped away my tear. We sat in silenced for the rest of the time (which was only like 10 minutes).

After my time was up they removed the IV and gave me some instructions. Silas arrived shortly to drive me home. Evan decided he didn't want to be here when my overprotective older brother showed up. "Are you feeling okay? I heard you threw up," he said rushing over to me and looking me over. "I'm okay, really, the symptoms probably won't start until after the next few rounds." He nodded cautiously and I stood up to leave. I was unsteady enough on my feet that Silas had to basically drag me out. After a few minutes of stumbling, dragging my feet, and fighting dizziness, I made it to the front seat of Silas' car.

"How did it go, did you have enough people to keep you busy?" Silas asked. "Lizzy came and Evan came afterwards. It was fine, I only threw up once, repeatedly." He sighed and pulled into the driveway. When we go to the door my parents bombarded me with questions. "Mom, dad, I'm really tired, I'm going to go to my room," I sighed yawning. "Yes of course love, get some rest, your next appointment is in five days, a five day break each week for a month and then a month break," my mom called as I walked up the stairs, going over things the doctor had already discussed.

I unclipped my fanny pack and threw it onto a chair, then collapsed onto my bed with a loud thud. Black spots clouded my vision and I slowly fell into a dreamless sleep.

Sunday-5:00 PM

I heard a loud thud and then a knock on my door. "Come in," I called out groggily. Silas stood in the doorway, hand in his hair. "I tripped, dinners ready," he announced and I giggled silently. After taking my nightly medications I trudged downstairs. "What's for dinner?" I asked with a louder than intended sigh. "Spaghetti," my mother answered softly. It took me 10 minutes to eat, our table was silent. I got up, washed my hands, and went back to my room.

Evan: Wyd?

Me: just had dinner, trying to go back to sleep, hbu?

Evan: same, my sisters are so loud tho, I'll let you sleep! Gn

Me: Gn

I smiled to myself before my fine pinged with a notification from Lizzy.

Lizzy: How are you doing?

Me: Better, went to sleep when I got home and woke up for dinner, I'm trying to sleep again now.

Lizzy: Cool, have you told your teachers yet?

Me: Pretty sure my mom did it, I'll make sure tho, for tomorrow

Lizzy: Kay, cya tomorrow

Me: Gn

Lizzy: Night

I was so tired and I couldn't sleep. I sat up, feeling extremely nauseous. I ran to the bathroom and threw up my dinner. I rested my head on the bathtub, the cold soothing my aching body. I soon fell asleep.

Monday-5:00 AM

When I awoke the sun was rising. My neck was sore from sleeping in the bathroom all night. It was too early to start getting ready for school so I crawled back into my bed.

When my alarm went off at 6:00 I rolled out of my bed and rubbed my eyes. I put on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I prepared a black bag containing my various medicine bottles. "Hungry?" My mom asked through my cracked door. "Not really, I'll eat lunch at school," I said and she sighed. The truth is I was starving but the thought of food made me want to throw up.

"Ok, be down soon, your brother is going to the car," She finished before heading back down the stairs. After I was sure I hadn't forgotten anything a hurried towards the car. Silas raced to the school in order to get there on time. "Hey, I have football practice after school, if you need to go home before it's over, tell me. I can work something out," Silas told me before we went our separate ways.

"Lizzy!" I called out into the brisk morning air. She ran up beside me "Hey, how're you?" She asked subtly. "I'm doing fine," I said not wanting to mention what'd happened the night before. "Good, are you doing anything after school, do you want to come over?" She asked me. "Sure, let's go were going to be late!" I laughed lightly.

Monday 3:00PM

The school day was finally over, I wasn't feeling to bad. My mom had informed the teachers in on the situation and they kept checking up on me throughout the day. I wanted to scream at them to stop, I wanted it all to end, the pity stares, but I still had an hour left. I could tell Silas that I wanted him to take me home but I didn't want to be a bother.

I walked over to the bleachers and fatigue, dizziness, and exhaustion settled in. Maybe my mom was right, maybe I should of waited to come back to school. I laid myself across a row on the bleachers. My eyes begged for a little bit of sleep, soon darkness closed and I faded into a restless state.

Thanks for waiting so long for this! I hope you enjoyed, I couldn't really figure out where to end this so it's pretty long. I haven't written since last year!

:)

Byeeeeeee

Weirdpersonnnnnnn

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