it's okay if it's you | ishman ✓

CH: 13

“you are.”

“so then did you not trust me enough to let me in on your secret? you shouldn’t have to go to others when im here.”

hearing that, ishan relaxes a little. he smiles. “i was just…worried i guess.”

shubman sinks back down into the covers. “i’ve failed as a friend.”

ishan chuckles. “shut up, dramatic ass.”

he reaches his hands to ruffle shubman’s hair. “sorry, shubi. you know i’d trust you with my life but this was something i wanted to tell you at the right time. it’s nerve wrecking sometimes honestly. in a way, im glad rachin did it.”

“the point still stands, why’d you tell him?” shubman asks, folding his hands.

“not intentionally. i was on a call with him and i was drunk, slipped up,” ishan says, pulling shubman’s cheeks affectionately.

shubman huffs. the news is still shocking to him but he’s trying to swallow the pill.

“he took it well, luckily,” ishan adds. “we don’t really talk about it but also he doesn't act like it’s non-existent, you know. he acknowledges that part of me.”

shubman nods, trying to be understanding. “i wish you’d have told me.”

“i guess im a coward,” ishan says with a sheepish little smile.

shubman flicks his forehead lightly. “don't say that. you’re an idiot, that’s all.”

“does it bother you? me being bi?” ishan asks after a moment of silence.

shubman shakes his head. “i don’t care about all that. i care about you. and you are you before you're straight or not.”

ishan tries to not feel emotional. he scoots closer to shubman, hugging his side.

“got it. we’re just ishan and shubman.”

shubman really likes the sound of that. it tells him that they're young, and they’ve their whole life ahead of them. so many matches to play, so many countries to travel, so many memories to make. with ishan.

“uhuh, it’s shubman and ishan.”

“ishan and shubman,” ishan argues.

“shubman and ishan it is. make it make sense.”

“shut up, you’re irrelevant.”

“no, im right- ow, stop biting me!”

they fall into their normal antics, giggling and teasing each other. a thing that shubman likes the most about their friendship is that they never have fights, not serious ones at least. they have their differences but they always sort it out pretty quick.

the reason is that they can’t go on for too long without talking to each other, but that’s not something they’ll admit out loud.

“how did you know you…don’t only like women?” shubman asks, genuinely curious.

“you can say the word, shubman. it’s not gonna turn you gay.”

shubman feels his cheeks warm up. “i know, im not- obviously. ugh, just answer my question, smartass.”

ishan thinks about it. there hasn’t been any major leading down to it. well, someone did play a role in it to help him realize but he’s taking that secret to his grave. sorry shubman.

“ryan reynolds,” he says.

shubman snorts. “so you’re not telling.”

“nope.”