"I'm going to stay here now." She told her. She wouldn't miss being out in the cold, uncertain wilds, not always having food available, and all the perils of wild living. This would be her life now, spending her days with Dusty and her pups, playing and getting food whenever she wanted, even if that food looked like small, hard rabbit droppings. "That's wonderful!" Dusty told her, giving her an affectionate lick on the head. "Know that you're always welcome here." Her kindness warmed Crystal, and she knew everything would be ok. She noticed some dog beds in the corner that she hadn't noticed there before, and they snuggled there together in the corner of the barn, safe from the howling winds outside. Crystal closed her eyes, listening to it rattle the trees and building for a peaceful moment. The pups came to the beds as well, snuggling up to their mother and their guest. The silence hung for a few more moments before Buddy, yawned, and asked:
"So... are you gonna eat us?"
"Buddy!" Dusty scolded lightly. "Don't be ridiculous, she's our guest!"
Then, Spot piped up. "If you're a wolf, where's your pack?" Crystal flinched a little. "I left my pack," She told him. "It's kind of a long story." At the word story, the pups were sold.
"Tell us! Tell us!" The pestered her, their eyes wide with curiousity and excitement, looking for a good tale.
"Well..." Crystal was hesitant. "I'd rather not..." The old she-dog seemed to understand and shooed the pups away. "Perhaps this is not a story for you little ones to hear." She told them kindly but sternly. "Goodnight, I'll join you in a bit."
"Awwee!" They protested, but padded off. Crystal watched the two young ones leave the barn out into the cold winter night and gave Dusty an uncertain glance.
"Don't worry about them." She smiled. "They'll just go in the house with our humans. So, what's troubling you? You seem upset."
"Well..." Suddenly, Crystal felt overcome with emotion, but also comfort. She began to explain. "Well... The pack I was in was always full of some sort of drama and chaos. At first it was kinda nice to have a family... This nice wolf named Jazzy took me in and treated me as her own, and there was Kuro, and my friends Won, Estefani ... Toby... She listed off the names, realizing how much she already missed them all. Then there was this wolf named Arbour, and he got in a fight with my mom-I mean Jazzy, and then she was no longer herself, saying she was Jazmine and she turned against me and Well... It was all crazy from there. Then Xether killed Ginger so he could become alpha, and I... She paused, realizing the red dog had no idea who she was talking about, though it didn't seem to concern her. Crystal continued telling her story, leaving some details out to make it simpler. When she finished, the barn was quiet and Dusty looked thoughtful for a moment. "So you ran away." Dusty finished softly. "That does sound tough," She symphasized, nuzzling the pup.
Thoughtful silence.
"Hun, What makes you think Jazzy turned against you?"
"Uh... I don't know, she wasn't herself I guess... It was a silly thing to say." Crystal fumbled her words awkwardly, not sure how to explain that the wolf that cared for her had two personas.
"I'm sure she loves you, she's just dealing with a lot right now sweetie, it's probably not personal. A close friend and a leader has recently passed, and things are changing all around, it's probably stressful for everyone. Does Jazzy know you left? She must be awfully worried."
"Not really..." Crystal mumbled. "I was gonna tell her..."
"Well why didn't you?" Dusty asked, a tone of disapproval replacing her gentle tone. "If I were her, I'd be tearing down the whole forest to find you! She probably has a lot already on her plate, why make her worry by taking off like this?"
"On her plate?" Crystal stared down at her paws.
"A lot to deal with." Dusty explained.
"But... I was following my heart," Crystal explained, remembering her chat with Xena before the interesting orange she-wolf took off. "I didn't want to live in a pack anymore. I wanted to live here!"
"Were you following your heart or your flighty paws?"
"Huh?" Crystal wasn't sure she understood. What did it matter which body part she 'followed?' This was what she wanted, wasn't it?
"Sometimes what we really want and what we think we want are two different things." Dusty said quietly.
Crystal thought for a second. "I don't want to be in a pack with that stinky Xether," she whined.
Dusty sighed. "I can't tell you 'leave' or 'stay.' You have to make your own decisions, and sometimes the right ones aren't always clear, especially in times like these." She nuzzled the young wolf. "You'll know soon enough when the time comes. I think it's time we get some rest. Everything feels better after a good nights sleep." She gave Crystal a comforting lick, and reluctantly, Crystal lay down and tried to sleep, her thoughts brewing like a storm.
What did she want? —————————————————————
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Ok, so maybe she missed her pack, and maybe she'd grown attached more than she thought. She felt conflicted as she trudged her way through the deep snow the next day, waving her tail goodbye to Dusty and her pups, who were flinging snow wildly, covering each other in the white powder. How could she even go back? Would they even want her after all this? She pushed the thought aside as she trudged through the snow. Maybe Dusty was right. Every time she faced a new challenge, she would run away, yet her heart still lay with her Pack of Hollows family. She would miss them too much to leave for long. What about her dream to become a fighter? As she walked along, she began to feel the feverish feeling again, and a tickle in her throat. *Cough cough hack!* Finally she couldn't take it anymore and trotted to a stream, hoping the cold water would soothe her sore throat. Getting a cold sucked! She looked at her reflection and realized she didn't look well, at all. She suddenly coughed up another pool of blood, watching it dissolve in the water and float away downstream. She made a face. She'd never coughed up blood like that before. A sense of urgency filled her paws; maybe she'd better get back to camp and into the shamans den. And quickly... //Continued in chat... //
