𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 ★ leah williamson

7 - not-okay-questions

"You ready?", my coach asked me as we walked through the cornered inside of the stadium, with Danny leading us to the media room. I showed my lanyard to the security before entering a new corridor. Jonas' hand was on the small of my back, and if I hadn't been as nervous as I was, I probably would've asked him to take it off.

"Remember, anything that you don't want to answer, you don't have to answer. I'll be there with you", he smiled, and I hated how obvious my nerves were at this point. I was a professional football player. I had done press conferences before. None of my other teammates were as afraid of the reporters, with their cameras and microphones and the pens scratching against their notebooks.

I nodded. We entered the room. I took a deep breath in, and didn't let it out until I sat in my seat, taking a sip of the glass of water in front of me.

Danny began speaking.

"We are excited to start the press conference ahead of our Champions League game, with our manager Jonas Eidevall and striker Elisabeth Weber present. We've got around twenty minutes with the two. I'd say we start with Gustav from Sky Sports."

I looked up into the round of journalists, their eyes fixated on me and Jonas. They immediately made me feel uneasy, but as I realised the first questions were dedicated to Jonas, I breathed a sigh of relief and my nerves soon settled. It took around five minutes before any of the people even acknowledged my presence.

"Question to Ellie: Obviously you've had an amazing debut for Arsenal, how confident do you feel that your abilities for the team will be consistent, what do you expect of yourself going into this game?"

I nodded along as he phrased his questions, and soon moved closer to my microphone. This question was okay.

"I'd say overall I've shown both in training and in my debut that I'm a valuable player for the team but I do know that we have an amazing roster so it's going to be difficult to land a permanent starting position. The goal is obviously to be consistent and I know I can be, but I think I'm just taking this from one game to the next, one training at a time. But I'm very excited for the rest of the season."

It was a lie. A total lie. I couldn't take it game by game- I was worried already about whether or not my position was guaranteed, about at which point of the season I would crumble under the pressure.

The journalist nodded and scribbled on his notepad, the way they always did. Danny asked the next journalist to speak, and I knew from the second the man looked at me that this wasn't going to be an okay question.

"Another question to Ellie: Your move to Arsenal was a very big transition and as you've mentioned, Arsenal has quite the roster when it comes to strikers, I think everyone was surprised to see you starting last week. With your continuous starting positions and promising results in the national team as well, how come we didn't see any of that in Bayern?"

I swallowed, hard. Jonas noticed- I could tell by the way he glanced at me, and I could picture the concern in his eyes even though I didn't allow myself to look towards him. I looked ahead- right into the eyes of the man who'd just asked me a very dangerous question.

"I don't know. I wasn't the one making the roster at Bayern, so I think you have to direct that question to someone else."

Although it was the truth that slipped through my lips this time, I wasn't satisfied with my answer. It would lead to more questions- I knew when the same man opened his mouth again.

"Surely, you have to have an idea. An opinion, on the matter."

I swallowed again, taking a deep breath once more.