𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝙟𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙖𝙝 𝙛𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙧

sixteen. the ocean

“i should get going” viviana spoke up, handing him the almost finished smoothie

“ it's still too early, you should stay for breakfast” jeremiah tried to stop the girl from leaving, but instead she gave him a forced smile “ it's okay, i can just eat something at home”

“or you can stay and i will make your favorite” jeremiah tried to be persuasive and he almost succeeded, if it wasn't for the girl's heart that was beating erratically, or her swaeating hands she would have hugged him with how adorable he looked

“thanks, but i should still go” viviana walked away towards the door as jeremiah frowned and caught her wrist “ could you at least stay and hang out with me?”

all jeremiah did since they became friends again was make things easier for her, but with the look he was giving her now, his innocent touches, anything he did, he was hurting her.

she knew she did everything she told justin not to worry about, she knew this was her doing not his, but he wasn't making things easier for her either.

“ i can't, i have to be home before my mom wakes up” she probably didn't even sleep yet.

“are we going to talk about last night?” he asked as viviana sighed “last night was . . . a mistake”

“a mistake?” jeremiah repeated, his statement coming off as a question as viviana nodded “ we were both drunk, it didn't mean anything”

and they stood in silence for a few seconds, until jeremiah went to say something, but viviana beat him to it “i am gonna go now, and you should see what isabel wanted, seemed pretty important ”

but jeremiah wasn't having it, he still tried to talk her into staying a little bit longer “ i am sure it can wait, and we could watch the vampire diaries”

viviana sighed “ i don't think that's a good idea” she didn't look at him around and left his room and all  jeremiah did was watch her walk away, taking away his bright mood and souring it immediately.

and suddenly, jeremiah was upset with belly, did she have to barg in his room without even knocking? when his girlfriend was there?

except viviana was only pretending to be his girlfriend, and he had no idea why he was so upset she didn't stay, why he was so upset with belly herself too

𓆉︎

viviana was in her room, binge watching the vampire diaries alone.

which she usually did alone and didn't mind it, she didn't mind it until she refused jeremiahʼs offer to watch the show with her, even though they both knew jeremiah didn't watch that kind of stuff, and he definitely hated watching a show filled with blood.

viviana doubted if belly knew that, did she knew he was scared of heights too? or his fear of insects?

realising she was getting too much into her head, viviana got dressed into a pair of sweetpants as she walked out of her room silently, taking her sketch and painting tools with her as she carefully yet fastly went towards the front door.

and as viviana sat calmly, drawing the ocean like the many times she did before while listening to soft music, she heard a cough from next to her making her look at the person.

steven conklin smiled down at the girl who offered him a smile back “mind if i wait for shayla with you?”

viviana shook her head “it's alright” so steven sat down, watching the waves with viviana, who got lost again into painting.

steven took a deep breath “ you know i always see you drawing the ocean but i don't think i ever saw you go near it”

“itʼs scary” viviana shrugged as steven raised a brow at her in confusion “what is so scary about the water?”

“one moment you could be swimming and then the other moment you could be drowning or already dead” viviana stiffly answered her old friend who stared at her in confusion

“so you like to watch it, but you are terrified of it?” steven pointed out as he checked his watch to see the time

“that's the thing about beautiful things, you like watching them, you cherish these things but you are always afraid of it”

“is that why you were so afraid of that vase when we were younger?” steven asked suddenly, as viviana nodded quietly making the boy brust out laughing

“shut up steven” viviana grumbled as the boy tried to catch his breath “i am sorry i am sorry, it's just you didn't even walk in the room”

“i was afraid i would accidentally break it!” viviana defended herself as steven laughed, and while the boy laughed, viviana suddenly realised that wasn't why she was so afraid of the water.

she was only afraid because it was unexpected. anything could happen without it being planned, and viviana had her whole life ahead of her planned,

but the ocean couldn't be expected , and neither could jeremiah be.

the sun was gone when viviana returned from the beach, as shayla insisted that viviana stayed a little longer with her and steven.

so as viviana tiredly walked in from carrying her stuff in, fearing that her art would be ruined, her mom walked towards the door.

and from the moment viviana heard the womanʼs slipper clicking against the ground, she prepared herself to get scolded.

except, her mom had a smile on her face as she greeted the girl “you are back just in time for dinner!” the womanʼs happy voice shoxked the girl

“and you painted too! that's amazing honey, bring it with you” vivianaʼs mom went to walk away as viviana coughed awkwardly

“i am not done with it yet” her mom scoffed and turned to look at it “you could do anything babe, and it would still be beautiful”

babe, beautiful.

and just as viviana followed her mom towards the dining table, she was met with someoneʼs back, no not someoneʼs, it was conrad's , viviana would notice his hair anywhere.

and as viviana sat in the seat in front of him, the boy didn't even meet her eyes. “i am so glad you two are talking again” phoebe smiled warmly at the two

and viviana found her heart clenching at the way her mom was so happy of something that was simply a lie.

she had no idea what lies conrad told her mom, but whatever it was, it made her so happy that she didn't bring three bottles of wine for dinner.

instead it was a strawberry milkshake.

“and for the new information i got you milkshakes from your favorite place!” her smile was so bright that viviana almost didn't recognize her mother and all sje saw was her mom

she hadn't seen her that happy in so long, and suddenly, viviana felt at peace knowing her mom was happy, but the sickening feeling that it wouldn't last made her peace go away immediately as it was replaced by worry.

her mother's therapist had worried her about this happening , after she had started claiming that luna was not dead and instead, she was at college.

“oh! how about we have breakfast tomorrow morning? like the old days?” the woman's smile was irresistible to viviana as she nodded with a soft smile.

“what about you connie? any plans tomorrow morning?” conrad shook his head “ i will try to make it”

all while viviana felt anxious for when conrad would leave and her mom would be back to normal.

authorʼs note!

this has been sitting in my drafts for three days sorry for the long wait babes <3

this is officially the first new chapter after editing the book! hope you enjoy it