It's okay to have feelings

chapter 3: what...

Miyano wasn't buying it. he went up and hugged Sasaki from behind as Sasaki was staring blankly at himself in the mirror. "It's okay you know." Miyano stated. "What is?" Sasaki asked. "That one, you're sad right now. you're not fooling me. And two, that you made a mistake today. you were thinking about it in the shower weren't you?" Sasaki stood there for a few more seconds before answering "Yeah. it was a mistake. But that doesn't mean i feel any less bad about it. Just let me feel things." Whew someone is moody. Miyano stayed calm, "i never said you're not allowed to feel! i just feel bad seeing you so down! i want you to be okay.."

Aaaand Sasaki just realized what he said and how it sounded... "..I'm sorry Yoshi..." His voice was a little monotone but still genuine. "It's okay Shuumei!! i know how rough your weak has been-" Sasaki cut him off "But that's not really an excuse to be  all mean like that. Really, I'm sorry." Miyano just hugged him tighter "And i forgive you!! You're okay i promise!" Man... Miyano himself was about to cry if Sasaki didn't stop doubting himself. 'I thope he gets to talk to that girl soon. This is so sad!! he feels so bad but he's being a little too hard on himself..'

Miyano finally let go and brought Sasaki back over to their bed. Sasaki just laid there on his back looking at Miyano with the most sad, straight-face he had ever seen. 'he is so out of it..' "Shuumei..?" "hmm?" Sasaki muttered. "You should probably get some rest.. you ready for bed now?" Sasaki stared at the ceiling with heavy eyelids "yeah.." Sasaki let out a big yawn and his eyes filled a bit with tired tears. "Shuumei?" Sasaki looked back over at him "hm? what is it?" he spoke so tiredly. Miyano just wanted to get his attention so he could proceed to kiss his poor, tired boyfriend before he falls asleep any second.

Of course, Sasaki being the affection type, was calmed a bit when his boyfriend's lips touched his. And, well, you know Sasaki, he went in for about a million more, he actually started smiling a bit. 'okay... that made me feel better..' "Thank you. Thank you Yoshikazu... I love you so much.." he was holding Miyanos face "Aww you don't have to thank me! I love you too!!" Miyano smiled back at him. 'Man he just never stops getting more adorable every passing day..' aww Sasaki you softy. They then decided that Miyano would be spooning Sasaki tonight and they feel asleep the second they were settled down and comfortable.

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Sasaki awoke the next morning to the smell of Miyano making breakfast. 'Is he cooking? wasn't it my turn- .. did he do this for me!? he's too sweet..' Sasaki headed down stairs to greet his boyfriend who had just finished cooking and was about to prepare a plate for Sasaki. "Shuumei! you're up! good morning! uhh i was gonna bring a plate to you.." This actually made Sasaki fluster a little 'he's too cute' "Nahhh you don't have to do all that for me! We can just eat down here like we usually do" Miyano handed him his plate "Yeah no that's fine! I was still sort of hoping you'd be asleep long enough for me to bring it to you.. I want you to relax! You had such a bad day yesterday i just wa-" Miyano was then interrupted by a little giggle coming from Sasaki "Do you always have to laugh at my explanations..?" Sasaki had to stop himself "No no sorry i just think you're really sweet! I promise i'm not laughing AT you, i just think you're adorable and you just make me happy!" Miyano smiled lightly blushing a bit "alright then, let's sit down."

So they finished the breakfast that Miyano so carefully prepared and talked about random things for a bit.

Since Sasaki had worked for 7 days, he had today and tomorrow off before he goes back in on Wednesday. Miyano was also off today so they just spent the whole day together on the couch watching anything and everything they could find.

The next day Miyano had work so Sasaki was home by himself. He stared his morning with a couple of chores then proceeded to do the same thing he did yesterday, without Miyano this time. Until he got home of course.

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Wednesday.

Sasaki finally had another shift at his family's bakery. 'hopefully that girl will be there today..' spoiler... she won't be there... ever... it was 7:30 AM and Sasaki was on his way to his 8AM shift. As soon as he arrives he scans the room. 'hmm maybe she'll be in later' Sasaki walked into the back room to put away whatever stuff he brought with him, wallet, keys, etc. His grandmother, who was also working today, happened to be in the back room so Sasaki decided to ask, "Hey is that girl that was here on sunday coming in today?"

His grandmother looked at him like he was stupid "Shuumei dear did you not hear? that was her last day." Sasaki was mortified "what..?" His grandmother spoke again "Oh not because of what happened that day! That just happen to be her actual last day here, she's moving to a new city soon!" She said and walked back out to the bakery kitchen. Sasaki stood there in honest shock. 'she- she's gone?? why did no one tell me she was leaving?? that day could've been so different if i knew... gee thanks for the info guys..'

Now Sasaki was more depressed than ever. He honestly was about to have a panic attack. He really was worried about what happened that day. But he put his emotions aside, he had to make it through this shift first. He couldn't bring himself to smile at half the customers like he was supposed to, it's hard to participate in customer service when you're struggling. 'man i wish i was scheduled for kitchen duty today. there's too many people here.. i wish that girl would walk in as a customer..'

Another god awful shift finished. yay.

It's now 4PM. Miyano was back at home wondering 'I wonder if he'd like to cook something with me if he's not too tired..' And right on cue, in walks Sasaki. Except he really didn't want to talk to anyone right now. 'please don't talk to me please don't talk to me please don't talk to me-' aaand guess who his thoughts were cut off by "Hey Sh- oh woah.." Miyano recognized that look. The same look Sasaki had come home with on Sunday. "Shuumei what-" Sasaki had to ignore him. His panic attack was coming back now that his brain knew he was home. He walked right past Miyano and started up the stairs.

"Hey! Shuumei!!-" Miyano followed after him and grabbed his arm. They stopped right then and there in the middle of the staircase. "Shuumei what happened??" ... "Shuumei?" ... Sasakis hands were shaking. If Sasaki spoke right now, his voice would very noticeably shake. Makes no difference though, His body was already shaking. "Shuumei please... talk to me..?" Miyano himself was about to start freaking out. They really do feel for each other. They're so emotionally connected it's not even funny.

"Did you get to talk to-" Sasaki cut him off  "She wasn't there." Miyano tried to reassure him "Ah well maybe t-" Sasaki cut him off again "and she never will be." Miyano looked confused "What do you mean?? Did she quit?" Sasakis hands were shaking a little more now, "my- my grandmother said it was her last day. she said she didn't leave because of me but that it just happened to be her last day there because she's moving soon and... Yoshi i don't know what to do with myself i want to make things right so bad but what am i supposed to do??? I don't have her contact info i can't just get a hold of her i- i- i don't know what i'm gonna do i-"

Sasaki slowly crouched down right where he was, his breathing not getting any lighter. It then clicked in Miyanos head what was happening here, 'OH MY GOSH IS HE PANICKING?? SHIT-' Miyano then sat right next to his shaking boyfriend, lightly rubbing his back. 'Ah man!! I haven't had to do this in a while!! i hope i can remember what to say.. and what to do...'

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A/N: muhahaha cliff hanger 😈 hope you enjoyed this 🥰🥰😻😻😻