in the middle of the chaos | jean kirstein x fem!reader

28 | in the middle of staining their hands

"Most likely," Mikasa confirmed. Both Jean and Y/n faced Mikasa in shock. "What the captain wanted me to tell you all is that starting now, there will be times when we have no choice but to fight humans."

Y/n's eyes widened. Fight humans?

"Wait, does that mean—" Mikasa ran off before Jean could finish, flying away with her ODM gear. "Hey!"

"Tch, let's go!" Y/n said as she followed right after.

Everyone flew clustered in a group, which Y/n found dumb as they were at a bigger risk at being seen. However, it didn't take them long to spot a carriage kidnapping the real Eren and Historia; Levi was flying right after them.

Another man with an ODM gear swooped in, shooting at the captain. "What was that!?" Jean called.

Levi was quick to take him out with his blades. Y/n felt sick as she watched the blood splatter on the ground below the body.

"Catch that wagon!" Levi yelled once they neared him.

Y/n spared the captain a look before expelling more gas to go faster. Right. No time for distractions. Eren and Historia are in danger. We just have to fight other people. Humans. How much different can it be from fighting bullies?

"Yes," both Mikasa and Y/n said.

"Listen up! They're used to fighting other people!" Levi briefed them as they flew. "They already got three of ours. You can't afford to hesitate if you want to get those two back! If you get the chance, you kill! Got it?"

Kill. Kill other humans. No hesitation. Right. How hard can it be?

"Understood," Mikasa said.

Levi flew ahead, taking out one person. "Armin, Jean! Secure the wagon! We'll cover for you!"

"Yes, sir!" Armin called back.

"Another one dead . . ." Jean said.

Y/n gave him a quick look. "Jean, now isn't the time to overthink this!" Then she shot forward, pushing the woman who'd been operating the carriage back into it.

Jean and Armin had dropped down in the meantime, Jean putting his blade to her face. "Don't move!"

Y/n watched him from the distance. Even from afar, she could see his hands shaking. Fuck. He's hesitating. He's gonna get killed! The woman got up and pushed his blade away, sending it flying up. Jean fell on his butt and closed his eyes as the woman pointed her gun at him.

Y/n's eyes widened. No. No, she can't. She won't. "JEAN!" Y/n raised her blades as she flew back down to the carriage, ready to take the woman out before she could kill Jean.

Then a gunshot rang.

For a moment, Y/n almost toppled to the ground, thinking Jean had been shot. However, as the woman fell on the ground and a pool of blood formed around her, Y/n's eyes moved to Armin, who held a steaming gun with wide eyes.

Holy shit.

———

Eren and Historia had been kidnapped.

Levi had ordered them to retreat once the carriage made it out of Trost. They couldn't follow them outside on foot — there was no way they would be able to catch up. Y/n had wanted to stay with Jean, to make sure he was alright after today, but Levi had stationed her outside with Sasha to keep watch. They were hiding out for now, trying to regroup and think of a new plan. Both Sasha and Y/n were armed with rifles. Y/n couldn't get used to the weight and its odd shape. She was used to blades — blades that kill Titans, not humans.

Then again, if Armin hadn't killed that woman today, Y/n would've.

I was about to kill somebody without even thinking about it.

If she felt this bad, she couldn't imagine what Armin was going through.

"Sasha?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think this is gonna be our new job?" Y/n said and the two shared a look. "Killing people?"

Sasha pursed her lips. "I really hope not."

———

Y/n sat at the foot of the table, her back facing the door. Her elbows were propped on the table and she held her face in her hands as the screams only seemed to intensify.

"I feel like he's screaming even louder than when the captain was doing it," Armin commented.

They'd captured a man earlier who might lead them to Eren and Historia, and Levi and Hange were currently torturing him for information.

They're doing it for a good cause. They're doing it to save Eren and Historia. This man is a bad person. Despite that, the sounds he was making were inhumane.

"I know this is to help get those two back, but it makes me sick." At least she and Connie were on the same wave.

"We're criminals now."

Y/n let Armin's words sink in. Criminals. Never in her life had Y/n imagined she'd become a fugitive. A killer. What would her mother think? Leo and Stella? Her father? They'd probably all disown her, wouldn't they?

"We've started killing our enemies, not because they'll eat us if we fail, but because their views are different than ours." Armin looked down. "No, maybe it's just because they're part of a different group. To take a life over that . . ."

"Armin . . ."

"We can't call ourselves good people anymore," Armin said.

Y/n didn't dare look at her comrades. Dread and embarrassment filled her, despite all of them being in the same boat as her. "This isn't what I thought I'd be doing when I joined the Survey Corps," Y/n said and the silence in the room was an agreement enough.

———

"The true successor to the throne is Historia?"

The whole Levi Squad faced Levi, Hange and Moblit, who'd just finished torturing the man for information. Despite all those screams, Y/n had never expected such information to surface.

"In other words, but Eren and Historia are likely wherever Rod Reiss is."

Hange nodded at Moblit, who unrolled a scroll and showed it to the everyone. The face of an unfamiliar man was drawn in great detail. "That's him," Moblit said.

They continued explaining everything they'd learned. "Eren will be eaten?" Armin asked.

"Yes. Eren remembered a conversation that went like this," Hange then told them about a conversation Eren had overheard between Ymir and Bertoldt about eating a human. "We can extrapolate from this that Ymir was a Titan wandering the land outside the walls and that Bertoldt, Reiner and Annie had a fourth teammate that she ate. Now, Titan's don't normally become human when they eat someone. But what if a Titan ate someone like Reiner — a human who can transform into a Titan? I think a Titan that eats someone who can transform back to being human can become a shifter. And that they will gain the power of the one they ate. In our recent battle, after Eren escaped, Reiner started throwing Titans at him. I believe he was hoping for one of them to eat Eren and obtain his ability to command other Titans with his scream. If I'm right, then Eren is only valuable to our enemies as a replaceable vessel for that power. And if the government has control of a Titan, they will surely want to make it eat Eren."

Mikasa tried to leave, but Levi quickly caught her. "Calm down. Getting worked up isn't going to get them to give Eren back to us. For now, we should pay this Rod Reiss a visit. Get ready to leave at once."

"Yes, sir!"