𝓢𝓮𝓮 𝓜𝓮

Chapter 16

"Hey, sunshine," he whispered. God, I missed his voice. His real voice. I didn't know what to say, what to feel. Or, no, I felt so many emotions right now, I just didn't know what to name them. My heart started thudding loudly against my chest, my lungs finally expanding, letting air in after a week of suffering. I wanted to cry, to laugh, to go and tell everyone that he's okay, but I couldn't move. I just wanted to look at him.

"Kai," I whispered again, my hand going to his face, seeing him lean into my touch. He woke up, kai woke up, I felt myself smile, tears falling down my face, I don't even know why I'm crying, "I missed you."

"Misse— wait," he breathed, I felt his body tense as he looked around the room, "what... how long— where—"

"You're okay," I cut him off when I saw the panic look on his face, my fingers brushing through his hair, my thumb rubbing against his hand again, "you're okay. It's all fine now."

"But how... did I get out in time? I don't..." he took a deep breath, his eyes roaming everywhere until finally falling on mine again, "I don't remember walking out. How did I..."

"Mum saved you," I smiled, smiled even when the scared panicked look on his face made me want to crumble, smiled because this was what I was good at, this was what I will always do for him, smile even if my heart was dripping blood, "she got you out and then we called Sonya and Sara. You're okay. You made it out, it doesn't matter how. You— you're—"

I quickly slammed a hand to my mouth, trying to keep a sob that was willing to get out in. No. He's okay. Stop doing that. Stop crying. Comfort him. I felt sick to my stomach, I should be happy. I was happy. Why couldn't I pull myself together for his sake? Why am I this weak? He would be strong for me. Stop. Crying. Smile.

I'm never going to be angry at him again. I'm never going to fight with him. I'm never going to say no when he wants to hang out. He wanted me to be with him at the academy last week, I said no. I said no because I had homework. That's never happening again. If I did go with him, he wouldn't have been alone. He wouldn't have been scared. He would have had me. I would have helped him somehow, at least help him help people. I wouldn't have left his side.

"Emmaline," his voice that I was used to being just in my head for a week now came from my side, his hand going to mine on my face, "don't cry. I'm okay, you said it yourself. Please don't..."

I blinked and looked at him when he pause mid sentence. Oh. He was looking in my direction, but not on my face. He wasn't looking at me, he was looking at his hand holding mine. His hand. I felt my heart twist as he pulled his hand to himself, his eyes studying the back of it. The scars. He lifted his other hand, his fingers brushing against his knuckles as I saw his jaw clenching.

I didn't even know what I was doing until I saw my hand reach for him, my fingers wrapping around his hand and pulling it towards me as I sniffed, "you're okay, Kai. It's okay."

I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Should I hide his hands between mine so he wouldn't get hurt looking at it? Should I try not to hide it and tell him it's nothing to be scared of anymore? I didn't know so I just brushed my lips against his knuckles, tightening my hold on his hand and closing my eyes. I didn't care if he had scars, I didn't care how deep or visible they were or weren't. I wanted to make him feel okay, fine, perfect. I opened my eyes to see him just staring at our hands, his hand in mine. No, I wanted to tell him, look at me. You're okay.

I was about to try and think of something to say when the door opened, seeing Kai blink and look up as I did the same. Naz still had her hand on the handle when she looked up, at Kai, before she stopped, froze. The only movement being how her lips parted, her eyes glassed until she finally took a deep breath, blinking rapidly as a tear fell down her face.