Our Fallout: A Second Chance

Thirty Three

"The result may break my heart or who knows, right? but at least I did it without regret." I can feel there's a meaning behind her words. "Good night!" ngiti niya sa akin at tumayo na.

I am sleepy as hell too. Bakit ba may pa-grand exit silang lahat? Pwede naman kaming sabay sabay na pumasok sa hotel eh.

"Remember those days when I always cried if someone tries to be friend with you?" biglang tanong sa akin ni Aaliyah. "Nung una okay naman sa akin eh, dumadami friends ko pero nung nakita kong napupunta sakanila atensyon mo. Naiinis ako." pagkwento niya.

"And then you ended up crying." ngiting sabi ko nung maalala ko yon. I remember our elementary days. Ang daming may ayaw sakanya kasi nagmamaldita siya pag may lumalapit sa akin. "I've always liked you ever since we met." "As friends." I quickly corrected her words.

"As friends." she admitted. "Kay Sam lang ata ako hindi nagselos." napatango ako. Magmula nung magkasama kami sa volleyball ni Sam okay lang sakanya kaya nagtaka ako nung una.

"Maybe because I got matured?" hindi niya siguradong sagot. "Or maybe because I wanna try to understand a part of myself why I don't want you to share with others." dagdag niya habang napapaisip ito.

"I was actually relieved with Sam as your friend. No jealousy at all. I was like okay nothing's wrong with me? Naging okay tayo na ganon ang set up friends mo mga ka volleyball team mo at friends ko mga cheering squad kasi alam ko sa huli tayo paring dalawa ang sabay na uuwi." we're both watching the waves when the surroundings became so bright.

Morning is here.

Even though the wind is cold, the sun is slowly warming us up.

"Until my birthday came which is weird because it's somehow feels right to be there with you alone. Being with you alone, the music, the dance and mood set us up when I unconsciously found myself kissing you." ng matawa siya onti.

"To be honest, your reaction to our kiss scared me more than my own feelings so I ended up lying it was just a kiss but it wasn't just a kiss to me." ng magkatinginan kami.

Parang nagising ang buong diwa ko sa narinig ko. "I really wanted to kiss you in those moments." she confessed as I gulp down my saliva.

She wanted that kiss!

She wanted to kiss me.

"I'm not quite sure when did I started having a feelings for you but I know this isn't just a sudden feeling that came out of nowhere. I felt like it piled up until it overflowed where I can't control myself anymore." as she sighed.

Hindi naman ako makapaniwalang nakatingin sakanya.

I always thought my love for her was one sided but we're just the same. We were both controlling our feelings trying to save our friendship.

"Hanggang sa nakampante ako at nasanay na walang ibang taong dumarating sa buhay mo. Kahit boyfriend, wala. Until I saw how you slowly drifted away when Isla suddenly came. Natakot ako. It was so sudden but I'm more afraid of losing you than you— being in a relationship with her." malungkot niyang sabi.

I didn't know that.

"Kahit napapansin ko, ayokong i-open up sayo because we might end up ruining our friendship so I tried to save it without talking about the problem. If accepting Isla as your girlfriend would save our friendship then I'd settle with that. At least, I still have you by my side right?" tipid niyang ngiti pero ramdam kong naiiyak na siya.

"But it was hard. It was hard seeing her hugging you or even kissing you. Sabi ko maling paraan na ata yung pagseselos ko. Of course I wanna be happy for you but damn it hurts seeing you happy with another woman." when her tears fell.