Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)

Interlude

Dear Lucius,

I haven't forgotten what I owe. I am grateful for everything you have done for me, and I am sorry it's all gone to waste-

*****

Dear Lily,

I just want to tell you that I am sorry. I'm not looking for your forgiveness, or your friendship, I just needed you to know that. Everyone always said we belonged to two different worlds, maybe we were meant to be strangers-

*****

Da,

I know you think I'm weak, that I won't survive out there in the real world on my own. I wanted to prove you wrong. Mum told me that you were forced to go to a workhouse when you were a child, before they shut them all down. She said I should try to be more understanding when you'd fly into rage because you had been institutionalized and that sort of thing leaves scars. She said Grandmother Snape had been born in the workhouse, and her mother before her had died in one, and that her family had been too poor to reclaim her body so they sold her to a teaching hospital to be dissected and thrown in a nameless grave. I suppose I'm just fulfilling my destiny. This is exactly where I was always meant to end up, here or in prison-

*****

Severus balls up the parchment and throws it in the bin, adding it to the ever-growing pile. Maybe one day he'll get the nerve to actually send one of these letters.

Tap, tap, tap.

Severus grinds his teeth in frustration and gets to his feet. He throws open his door and sees Potter's body-less face floating in front of him. "You do have permission to come during visiting hours, you know." Severus points out as he allows the ghost-like figure to float into his candle-lit room. "You don't have to keep showing up here at midnight."

Potter tosses the invisibility cloak on the chair, and stands in front of him whole and solid. The breadth of his shoulders are wide from playing Quidditch, and he is tall, so very tall, looming over him in the darkness. Severus swallows thickly and glides to the safety of the other side of the room.

"I have to go back to Hogwarts in the morning," Potter says.

"And you decided to spend your last night of freedom here? With Snivellus?" Severus sneers, enjoying the slight flinch at the old nickname. Poor, pitiful Potter, he's just so very sorry. He'll get over it eventually, Severus thinks. He knows Lily will never forgive him and he's accepted that, it's time that Potter did the same. He's going to graduate in a few months, and he'll be off- going to work, getting married, having babies. He won't be able to spend his time wallowing in Severus's cell. The visits will come less and less and eventually they'll stop - sooner rather than later - and whatever pain and guilt he feels right now will scab over until it's only a half-forgotten memory.

Then Severus will really be alone.

The thought is terrifying.

It's what you want, he scolds himself. Safety requires sacrifice.

Potter is already moving toward the turntable. "What have you brought this time?"

"It's called Einstein on the Beach."

"It's called what now?"

"Einstein on the Beach. The shopkeeper said it came out just a few years ago-"

"-Ooh, did you actually bring me something from this decade?"

"And, anyway, I'd figure you'd know who Einstein is," Potter continues as if he hadn't heard him. "Even I've heard of Einstein."