Little Dove

chapter 30

"No buts, he's out cold for a few hours at least, he wouldn't want you to get sick and he will chop my balls off if I let you sit here like this" he explained with a soft smile. The rage and anger from his eyes was long gone, he looked more tired and exhausted so I didn't argue with him when he dragged me towards Nathan's bathroom.

"I'll get a maid to bring you your clothes from your room" he said to me before opening the bathroom door for me.

"It's okay, I'll manage" I tell him and he press a kiss over my head before letting me go.

"If anything happens, give me a call, okay?" He says, worry still lingering in his eyes as if he too didn't want to leave Nathan's side. I give him a reassuring nod and he sucks in a deep breath before walking out of the room.

I force myself to walk into the bathroom. The moment my eyes fell on the mirror I couldn't stop the stream of tears that ran down my face. I looked broken, I looked used.
The cut on my lip wasn't deep but it was evident and so was the slap marks on my face.
I ripped my eyes off the mirror and got rid of the bloody clothes, my white shirt was no longer white, it was covered in blood, mine and Nathan's.
Discarding my clothes on the floor I walk into the shower and set the shower in high pressure, letting it wash away the dirt and blood down the drain.

Once I was clean I walked out of the shower and wrapped a clean towel around my body. I didn't bother looking back at myself in the mirror. Everytime I look at myself I see a broken girl, a helpless weak girl staring right back at me.
Walking out I look over at Nathan, the heart machine still beeping silently, eyes shut close. He was just as I left him. I walk into his closet and grab a pair of his boxers and a black shirt before getting dressed into it. I just wanna feel closer to him, I just need him to hold me right now, and seeing him like that only breaks my heart.
Walking out of his closet I walk towards his bed and slide in next to him and slowly crawl near him till I was lying beside him.
His chest moved up and down in a very slow, lazy rhythm and even tho I could hear the machine beeping, it wasn't enough for me. I lean forward and rest my head over his chest, place my ear over his heart and I could hear the faint sound of his heart beating.
Relief washed over me and tears followed afterwards.

"This is all my fault, you came there to save me and now you're hurt, because of me" I sniffle and hug him tighter.

"Please wake up Nathan" I begged him, my throat tightening to the point it was hard to swallow the lump forming.
"You promised you'd come back to me, I need you awake, I need you to look at me and ask me if I regretted that kiss so I could tell you that I never did, kissing you was anything but a mistake, it made me feel alive after a long time, it made me feel" I admit to him. I knew he couldn't hear me and that made it easier to confess how I felt about that kiss. My heart was aching, my ears were begging to listen to his voice.

"You sure dove?"

I stilled, my breath hitched in my throat when I felt his chest vibrate and his rough voice made me snap my head up to look at him, his eyes slightly ajar, a soft smile on his lips. His lips that were almost a shade of blue a few hours ago now held a small smile, as if all of that was a hallucination or this isn't real.

"You- you're awake?" I mumbled softly, not believing my eyes. "I thought you- that you were-" my voice cracked at the end and his arms slowly wrapped around my shoulders.

"I promised you that I'd be back, didn't I?" His voice was rough and hoarse, exhaustion dripping off his every word.
I didn't realize I was crying till his cold hand wipped a stray tear off my face and a stream of tears followed after it. I couldn't get his face out of my head, when he almost died in my arms, he still smiled at me when he was bleeding out, when he was in pain but he still kissed my hand repeatedly to reassure me, smiled at me to calm me.
And now that he's awake, he didn't look at me with hatred or anger for causing him pain, he looked at me with adoration, with something so strong that it shook me.