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Through the Curtains

'Through The Curtains'
Author: not_apricotV

Title - 5/5
•I like the title, it already gave me the vibe of a romance story.

Blurb - 2.5/5
•The reason I rate the blurb so low is because of grammatical errors, and how you write the description, some of which I don't understand.

•If you are writing a burb, the first thing you need to do is introduce your main character and establish the situation, you should describe your protagonist in who she is and what she does.
-Introduce the problem or conflict, after you introduce your protagonist, write the problems she will face later in t0he story, but it might be better if you write the main character's inciting/motivating incident.
-What's at stake?
What does the protagonist depend on or lose if she doesn't dissolve the problem

For Example: The blurb of my Story

Introduction;
Jimmy Garma is a 28-year-old woman working hard for her grandmother.

The inciting/motivating incident;
For Jimmy, her life has been hell since her father broke up with her mother and left, and it will become even worse when she meets a man she calls an arrogant rich bastard, Kai Cheongwul, the heir to one of the richest South Korean companies.

Due to the unfortunate incident that happened to them, Jimmy has no choice but to accept Kai Cheongwul's offer to be his assistant.

What at stakes?
As time goes on, hell gets worse for Jimmy. Will they fall for each other or not?

First Impact - 13/20
•It's not that great, It could be better if the paragraph is not too long, and the chapter is short, but since you said that you are new to writing, I understand.

Character - 6/10
•The character is great, but you said she's from the 1920's so it doesn't make sense that she knows she's in the future. How did she know it was an advanced camera?

Cover - 7/10
•The cover was good, but it looks bland maybe a little change of the cover?

•There are some cover shops here on Wattpad that could help you have a better book cover. (Just my suggestion)

Grammar - 2/5
•There are a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed.
Example;
-You write 'I went straight to cross the road. But when I was in the middle, a car hit me.'
It is grammatically incorrect.
-It is supposed to be 'I went straight to the shop, but when I was in the middle of the road, a car hit me'

•Learning past tense and future tense is important so that you don't get your grammar wrong.

Writing Style - 2/5
•If your two characters are talking, don't just describe what they are talking about or write 'He smiled and said- "If you're living here with me then it's yours too." He saw me being so uneasy and said- "Oh! Leave it. It's too late now, I'll show you your room and tomorrow we will do the home tour. Is that okay?" '
Please don't do 'He said-' with a dash (-)

Example of a better writing style (Not really)

He smiled and replied "If you're living here with me, then it's yours too." but he noticed that I was restless so he added "Oh, don't worry. It's late, I'll take you to your room, and tour you around the mansion tomorrow, is that okay?"

Plot - 6/10
•It's good, just a little more improvement.

Enjoyment - 9/15
• I don't enjoy that much because of the grammar and writing style, but overall the plot is interesting.

Overall - 52.5/85

•I hope you don't get discouraged because of my opinions. You still have a long way to go, and I was hoping for improvements. You're still new and I won't judge since I was like that when the first time I started writing my own story 6 years ago lol.

•My tip for you is to read other authors' books because when you read many stories, you will adopt the writing style of the other writers and improve your writing.

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