Athlete B

07. If I Get Too Close

So, I still stood up and followed after Silas, taking a quick glance at the room I was in. It was Teddy's, from the way that the photos filled a wall, where some of them I was in, but most of them I was missing from his life. The walls were a light blue, like they always had been, with stuff everywhere, but yet, it was still a messy clean, just like he was. 

I stepped out of the room, and could hear music filtering up the stairs as we walked down them, before I was met with a sight that I had been all too familiar with at the lake house a few years back. This was the Teddy that I had known. The Teddy that I had loved for so long, but had always bit on my tongue, knowing he would never like me back in the same way. 

There was no one like Teddy that had ever liked me like I had liked Teddy. I was sure that it was more than a friend should, a best friend even, but it died down once we drifted. It was the hardest part of my life, and I didn't know that I would ever be able to see him again. But seeing him now, brought back some part of that life that I had once lived. 

Looking into the kitchen from behind Silas, I could see the person he had described as my boy. He was dancing in the kitchen, in a pair of jeans and a sweater that looked like it would swallow me whole, with a cowboy hat on, all whilst he was holding a golden retriever puppy in his arms, that looked to be about a month or two old just from the size of it in his arms. 

I stifled a laugh at the boy, remembering the days at the lake house when he would convince me to come and dance with him, all while our hair was wet, and the dogs that came up to our waists were moving around us, as music played behind us. This was our type of song too, the same one we had listened to together our whole lives, whether it was in the car or on the boat, even in the kitchen, it was our song. 

I had shut out all playing of this song when we had drifted, but now, I regretted that more than anything. I wish that I had been here the whole time, dancing with Teddy in the kitchen, even if we looked stupid. He looked stupid because he was just holding a dog like a partner, as the dog had a bandanna around his neck, all while Teddy continued to mumble in the dogs ear, like it was listening to him. 

Who even knows where he got that hat from! I tried so hard to smother my laugh, but Teddy turned, and almost looked angry at me, before he dropped the dog and made a beeline for me. Initially, I took a step back, before I let him pull me into the kitchen and spin me around. My body hurt more than it should, but I just let Teddy spin me however he wanted and I didn't care. 

For once, I didn't care how I looked, what I was wearing, how messy my hair was, or who I was with. This is where I wanted to be. I wanted to stay here forever. I wanted to stay wrapped up in his arms for as long as I could, while our song played in the background, and the dogs ran around our feet. 

This is what I had been replaying in my mind for years, wondering if I would ever get Teddy back to me, to the girl that had missed him for so many years. So many years of hurt and pain felt like it was just being washed down the drain, as if Teddy could just erase everything going on around us, and make it feel like it had never even happened in the first place. 

Taking one last spin out, I ended up back in his chest, with my chest heaving up and down in front of his. The very same chest that I had fallen asleep to the rise and fall of for so many years, thinking nothing of it. But now, now, the two of us were older, and we were no longer children that played mindless games in the backyard and pretended like we could never be more than those people that pretended like they were siblings. 

Like anyone ever believed us then. "Thanks" I murmured, looking up to the boy, who had a frown at first, before it turned into a tight lipped smile at me. He knew what I meant. I was meaning the way that he had taken me away from reality, and given me something new to hold onto. Something else to clutch onto for the mean while. A sign of hope.