Guarding the teaser ( Intersex/GL)

Chapter 14

A cold wind breeze greeted me as l opened the door of my bedroom's viranda. I looked at the dashing stars above hoping that we are gazing with the same sight tonight.

My tears make its way again on my cheeks as l reminiscing the past with the person who loved me dearly which l just took for granted back then.

I hurt her .. no, that's an understatement for what she feels 3 years ago, for what l made her feel.

Austin.. l miss her touch, her care, her smiles- gosh, everything about her. Where is she ? Would l be able to see her again?

I was confused that night.

The man l've been longing and waiting for so long was already there in my door- standing before me, asking for me to come back.

I was overwhelmed and siguro stuck din sa idea na si Marco yung mahal ko because back then, l was not sure sa feelings ko kay Austin.

I let him come and we talked about things, he kissed me and l reciprocated but l couldn't feel anything unlike whe  l'm with my girlfriend na kahit dulo palang ng daliri nito ang humawak sa akin, parang nakukuryente na ako.

Did l get over to Marco already?

I want answers so l did the first move to deepen the kisses till we reached my room.

I even closed my eyes dahil baka mas mafeel ko sya pero ganun pa din. I was about to push him dahil di ko na gusto ang nangyari but he pushed hard his crotch on my clothed core making me moan but l still don't want it.

Naiimagine ko si Austin, yung muka nya ang naiisip ko. Isusurprise ko pa sya. I close my eyes again to gain forces  to push him but someone talk besides me.

Austin was there, looking at me while crying.

I was going to sort my feelings dahil naguguluhan pa din ako. I'm trying to explain to her but she didn't let me kaya hinayaan ko nalang, dahil si Austin naman yan eh. I'm sure after this mag uusap kami ng ayos kapag sure na ako sa  nararamdaman ko.

Pero what have l done ? That night, my world collapse. She leave me and even wishes that she didn't meet me.

Akala ko galit lang sya dahil ganun naman kapag nag aaway kami. Kapag galit sya sakin umaalis sya pero babalik din at maglalambing kinabukasan.

But 3 years was already past pero ni anino nya walang nagpapakita sa akin. Sa isiping kinalimutan  nya na ako ang muling naging dahilan ng pag agos ng masaganang luha ko.

Bakit ba kasi ang pagsisisi laging nasa huli. Is this my karma ?

" Mommy, what are you doing there?  l want to sleep beside you but you're not in your room" He said habang kinukusot pa ang mga mata na tila naalimpungatan lang.

Agad ko namang pinunasahan ang luha ko bago may maliliit na kamay ang yumakap sa binti ko. Agad ko naman itong inalis sandali at umikot at yumuko para harapin sya. Binuhat ko na din  dahil sure na nagpapa baby lang ito.

He's so sweet, and caring towards me kaya ayokong ipakita na umiiyak ako dahil matured mag isip ang anak ko kumpara sa mga kaedad nya, hindi uubra ang pang uuto dito e.Pero halos gusto ko na namang maiyak ng makita ang muka nitong photo copy yata ng Dada nya.

Yes, anak namin sya ni Austin. Isusurprise ko sana sya that night para sabihin na l'm 3 months pregnant with our baby pero nangyari nga ang nangyari.

l wonder, Babalikan nya pa kaya kami ng anak nya ?

Since she left, l change. In a good way of course. Dahil sinisisi ko talaga ang sarili sa mga maling desisyon ko sa buhay noon.

I matured a lot. Memories of Austin, hurting because of me made me.

Gusto ko na sa oras na balikan nya na kami, maayos na Charlotte na yung haharap sa kanya. Yung kaya na syang ipangalandakan sa lahat at mahalin ng buong buo ng walang ano mang pagdududa.

Hinarap ko ang responsibilidad ng isang magulang ng mag isa. Although nakaalalay naman ang parents ko pero iba pa din siguro kung si Austin ang kasama ko.

My Dad got mad when he knew that Austin left me with a child but l already explained everything to him. Of course nagalit sya sa akin pero sa huli tinanggap din naman ako lalo na at magkakaapo na sila ni Mommy sa unica ija nila.

Minsan parang gusto ko na sumuko na babalik pa sya sakin. Na baka may sarili na itong pamilya kung nasaan man ito ngayon. But the feelings she inflicted on me made me still hoping.

Parang kinakapos ako ng hininga tuwing maaalala sya , kung wala lang si Clifford baka matagal na akong huminto sa buhay.

I named our son Clifford Austin Del Fuego. Gusto ko sama na Villamor na ang isunod na surname nito pero hindi pumayag si Dad.

Mas naging sikat na rin ang clothing line business ko ngayon dahil itinigil ko ng ang pagpaparty at nagfocus dito.

I already have well-knowned models from different countries just to promote my designs and next week nga ay may darating na mga bagong models from France para pumirma ng kontrata. I want  new faces every now and then .Ayaw ko kasi ng naguulit pa ng  model pagkatapos ng kontrata nila.I'm a little picky and strict when it comes to business .

Hinalikan ko sa noo ang anak ko matapos ko itong maihiga ng maayos sa kama ko. May sarili na itong kwarto pero paminsan minsan ay naglalambing ito para tumabi sa akin.

I comb his hair using my hands. She really looked like her Dada. Parang batang version nya lang talaga ito. Napangiti ako ng yumakap sa akin ang maliit na kamay nito.

" I love you Baby. Hope your Dada comes back to us really soon" l said then kiss him again on the forehead bago ipikit ang sariling mata para matulog.

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Pano yan, may anak pala sila. Nagsisi na rin. Patawarin na ba natin ?

Wag na. Ang Kathniel nga naghiwalay after 11 years e. Kaya wag na magbalikan at sa hiwalayan din lang ang bagsak  Charr HAHAHA