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while slumping out of the hospital building, you were holding your broken wrist close to you after you cutely beat up that random teenager over some goddamn coins. wait, why did you need them again for?
"I hate my life, and I wanna die." you muttered to yourself, glancing over the demon dude who was also making his way out the building.
he looked back at you, snickering, "I ain't got no iphone!", which caused you to groan loudly.
"shut yo ass up you white cracker, you think you're hot shit but in reality you're just some old man who's balding at 17-"
he quickly interrupted, saying, "EXCUSE ME!?!? I'll have you know, I'm like, the sexiest bastard at my highschool. girls drool at the sounds of my footsteps across the halls, and I'm dating the hottest chick who's cheerleading captain!"
you rolled your eyes, snapping your head towards his direction. "yeah, right, you stupid ass hoe, why do you wear heels, you uglyass slut?"
before he could get a word in, a fucking car comes racing down the hill the two of you were crossing, and hit the cranberry asshole, sending him flying through the entire town.
"meh, just a regular day," you winced slightly, sipping on some tea.
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"what do you mean I'm banned for life!??! I swear I'm a loyal passenger!!!!" you shrieked at the poor bus driver, angry at the world for being so damn cruel to you.
the bus driver was just staring at you, losing their patience. "I'm sorry, but--"
but you had none of it. all of your hard work of twerking, beating someone up for your stolen money and ending up in the hospital for it.
no.
no way in hell were you giving up that easily.
seeing as there was no option left, you cried out, "was it because I broke in the security room and started watching tentacle hentai the last time I was heading in this route?? please, I am a changed man!!!!! I HAVE A WIFE AND 11 KIDS I NEED TO FEED!!"
many passengers gave you strange looks, while one kid was playing roblox on his cheeto dust infested ipad, with the volume blasting out stupid noncopyright music. holy shit you wanted to sock him in the face, but you'd rather not get arrested on the same day you lost your way home, with no way to contact anyone as your phone died.
frustrated, you stormed out of the public transit, throwing your hard earned money at the pavement. you immediately regretted that and swooped down to pick the coins up one by one, hissing in pain for forgetting about your broken wrist.
just then, a familiar face came along.
"hey roach, how's it going?" oh boy, it was the demon guy. he was staring at you, grinning and loudly munching on a bag of potato chips, which infuriated you even further.
"what do you want, you overpriced pillow?" you got up and dusted off your knees, not even caring to make up some kind of good insult for that marshmallow mackerel.
the teenager shoveled a handful of chips in his mouth, chewing, and then gulping it down. "soooo, first of all, I wanted to apologize for stealing your money and not acknowledging your fat ass in the first place, and secondly..." he trailed off.
there was a few moments of uncomfortable silence, before he suddenly snapped out of his thoughts, and spoke again, munching on another handful of the chips. "okay, I wanted to introduce myself, I'm Selever, what about you?"
you raised an eyebrow, looking up towards his direction. "I'm Y/N, but why do you want to know that?"
he shrugged, "just so you can stop calling me those god awful insults, like wtf is 'overpriced pillow' supposed to mean????"
he paused a bit, before continuing. "anyway, considering I just overheard the fact you're homeless, or whatever, wanna stay at my place?"
"wait, what-"
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((yeh, this is the end of the chapter, I don't know if I still want this fic to be crack or not cause uhhhh ummmmmmmm
