CHARACTERS: ABBY, JORDAN, JILLIAN, and NORA
(ABBY and NORA are in a room together. They are both whispering to each other in a rather malicious manner. How intriguing. Suddenly, JORDAN casually walks in. This startles ABBY and NORA.)
ABBY: Hi Jordan, me and Nora were talking about normal things while you are gone.
NORA: Yes, nothing suspicious.
JORDAN: ok
(Exit JORDAN.)
NORA: When are we going to tell them... about our...
ABBY and NORA: Secret...
(Exit ABBY and NORA , while JORDAN and JILLIAN enter.)
JORDAN: Jillian, I just saw Nora and Abby talking. They looked like very good friends, doing friendly things.
JILLIAN: Oh, what were they talking about?
JORDAN: I'm not sure, they were whispering so it must have been a secret. But it can't be a secret like our...
JORDAN and JILLIAN: Secret...
JILLIAN: Yeah no, it could never. Our secret is very...
JORDAN and JILLIAN: Secretive...
JORDAN: (Starting to walk away slowly) I'm going to go ask her about it then.
JILLIAN: Good, because I have another secret...
JORDAN: (Stops walking) Wait, what did you say?
JILLIAN: (Quickly) I said I have another suspicion!
JORDAN: (Continues walking) Oh, okay. Just tell me when I get back then!
(Exit JORDAN and JILLIAN. JORDAN comes back on with ABBY, now in another room.)
JORDAN: So Abby, what were you and Nora talking about?
ABBY: (Stutters like she's in Wattpad) O-oh! Nothing! Just... having a good conversation. That's all.
JORDAN: Oh okay, I thought so. I was just worried that... What if she found out...
ABBY: Our secret?
JORDAN: Yeah...
ABBY:(Loudly) I would never let her find out that we're- (JORDAN interrupts her and motions for her to be quieter. She lowers her voice to almost a whisper.) Vampires...
JORDAN: (In her normal voice.) Yeah, I know you would never let that happen!
(Exit JORDAN)
ABBY: Little does she know that... (Maniacal laughter) I AM A WEREWOLF TOO! (She becomes a furry and exits the scene.)
(Enter NORA, JILLIAN, and JORDAN)
JORDAN: Hey Jillian! So it turns out that Abby was only... (She sees NORA, talking to JILLIAN about how she is a vampire and is acting quirky like one.) NORA?! (She yells)
JILLIAN: (Startled) Jordan?!
NORA: You weren't supposed to see this!
JORDAN: How could I have known that you have known her...
EVERYONE AT ONCE: Secret...
NORA: I'm sorry! Jillian, I think there's something you need to know... I've already told Jordan about this and you need to know it too... I'm secretly a mermaid drag queen!
JILLIAN: (Gasps) What??
(NORA now permanently speaks in cursive)
NORA: I'm sorry I had to tell you this... (Starts crying in cursive)
JILLIAN: I mean... I knew you were a drag queen by how absolutely slay you were but... This is a really big...
(EVERYONE AT ONCE) Secret...
JORDAN: You know what... I have another secret. I'm secretly a lizard person!
(Everyone gasps)
NORA: I knew you were hiding another secret! I could smell it on you!
(Dramatically enter ABBY)
JILLIAN: Abby, what are you doing here! How much of this did you hear?!
ABBY: Just enough to know that you shared the same secret about yourself with them that you shared with me!
JILLIAN: Yeah, well at least I didn't tell them the secret about you!
ABBY: Which one?
(Everyone gasps)
JILLIAN: The fact that you're an 86 year old man!
NORA: Oh snhapp!
ABBY: Yeah, well I'm also a mermaid ice, fire, earth, air, water, and drag queen who is also a lizard person, a vampire, a werewolf, a unicorn, a fairy, a gremlin, an elf, a giant, a golden goose, and... the worst of all...
JILLIAN: What is it??
ABBY: A... (She pauses for suspense) ginger...
(Everyone except ABBY starts gasping and crying)
ABBY: Oh yeah, I'm also Elsa.
JORDAN: (Still weeping) Nobody cares anymore!
NORA: How dare you be ginger! Everyone knows gingers aren't real!
JORDAN: You fake!
(Exit JORDAN and NORA, running out crying)
JILLIAN: Look at what you have done! This secret has ruined this entirely platonic friend group!
ABBY: (Singing) The club isn't the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go, mmm.
(END OF PLAY)
